What get my colostomy bag a sizzling and gives me the urge to spew boiling hot piss over any cunt in a 100 mile radius of where I stand is those fucking emoji things.
Stupid fucking stickers more at home on a childs bicycle than an ideal replacement for the English language which has taken 100’s of years to evolve but is now crumbling like sun dried turd before my very eyes.
It all began when I got a friends request on facebook which I duly accepted from some cunt who has crawled out of the woodwork to hang on to my coat tails of magnificence and have a little slice of The Advocunt pie.
As customary when I accept a friends request on facebook I will always send a message saying good to hear from you and how are things because I still believe in the written word but in return the brain dead cunt replied with a thumbs up emoji and that’s it!.
Of course when I saw this I immediately deleted the cunt as I figure if the cunt is too lazy to write a reply then the cunt will be too lazy to get the fucking beers when its their shout down the boozer so what good is a useless sack of shite like that to me?.
I would like to end my first nomination here on ISAC with the moral of the story is but I don’t do morals as they are pesky things that get in the way of having a good time, especially with some of the rancid old Grunters I have banged in the past so I will say this………
If you have the communication skills of a plankton then nip down to the seaside with a bucket and fill it brim full of your little buddies who will no doubt be thrilled with your communication skills but don’t knock on my door because I just ain’t that fucking wet.

Thank you and fuck off.

Nominated by: The Devils Advocunt

(Welcome to ISAC and thanks for your first of many, hopefully, nominations – DA)

You see mi (sic) name. You know what I am. A person of a darker hue.

I’ve already cunted multi-racial whiteness but maybe I should celebrate it.

The proliferation of names like Chumbawumba Patelsahib on MSM sources are really starting to piss me off.

Even the people at BBC II! recognise this (or at least the people who make Famalam) with the character Babatunde Warrington

https://www.comedy.co.uk/tv/famalam/episodes/3/5/

I’ll give Famalam another recommend. They’ve joked about the proliferation of my kind in adverts as well.

Back to my fucking point (two bottles of paint stripper don’t help), my first name is an anglised version of a Hindi name. No issues with that – my parents moved here in the 60s and I was born in 1970.

My surname is a three letter word – very hard to mispronounce – and I’ll give my old man his due. Our original caste (slave?) name was 10 letters (in the Queen’s), and four syllables. Fuck that for laugh back in the 60s. He thought ‘dump it and use my last other name’. I salute you, Old Man.

Simplicity of name and ease of integration. And now I’m a cockney who teaches Physics in Leicester.

Apologies for the (obvious) drunkenness of this cunting, but know that there is someone on this Earth called Kwame Kilpatrick.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kwame_Kilpatrick

Nominated by: Dark key cunt 

A quick cunting for this bunch of supine baxters for advertising for NON whites only candidates to work at GCHQ.
Bunch of cowardly, pc cunts.

Nominated by: Uttercunt

Intercepted and decoded by TheBestRevengeIsLivingWell with this:

My initial reaction is it screams bullshit as a job advertisement with that stipulation would break the equalities act! Unless you’re the BBC as you think that you are exempt from the equality act when advertising for non-whites of course!

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9325775/GCHQ-advertises-job-department-people-ethnic-minority-background-women.html

GCHQ stated that the post was in accordance with the equality act because he is only asking people to express an interest.

It is a bit of a strange one because it asks for ethnic minorities or women from any ethnic background to register their interest in the job, in other words no white men. It then goes on to say after a period of several weeks the job will be advertised and be available to all ethnic backgrounds, I.E everyone. It seems a very sneaky way to go about this matter and you’re quite right, it is well worth a cunting!

GCHQ were under fire a while back for only taking on white people for 30 years so perhaps this is their way of trying to publicly shake that off!

Where are they when you want some? All quiet on the Fenien Front (for the time being) and the UDF have been spraying customs post with their rattle cans and declaring their withdrawal from the Peace Agreement from the comfort of The Orangeman’s Arms.

Protestant community thoroughly pissed off by Brussels meddling in Ulster and its attempt to drive a wedge between Blighty and Northern Island and its crude attempt to force a United Ireland. I hear the dulcet tones of the late Reverand Doctor Paisley “Neverrrrrr neverrr neverrr!!!” rising from the grave.

Now is the time to trump the Brussels shenanigans Men of Ulster. Talk in Belfast of a possible bombing campaign in Dublin and Brussels. Let the EU and the Yank Irish Democrats put a few troops in to police that situation. Good luck boyos. Must stress that Yours Truly and doubtless all on this site are thoroughly against violence but it has to be admitted that in certain hands the threat of has its uses.

Thinking back to me time over there in the ’70s and ’80s. Streets full of armored Land Rovers and eighteen year old lads from somewhere oop North in full body armour and under their kind of lockdown – not allowed out to local bars or cafes due to danger of death. Happy Days and what a great experience for our Yank Irish and EU friends to enjoy.

Come on over when it kicks off. You are ever so welcome

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/brexit-northern-ireland-paramilitaries-b1796198.html

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Many, many years ago, I watched the film “The Colour Purple” – what impressed me, apart from the story, apart from Whoopi Cushion Goldberg, was the truly remarkable performance by a young black actress named Oprah Winfrey.

Today, however, Winfrey is a fat flatulent over-paid & over-opinionated windbag.
According to ‘Oprah’ her interview (propaganda broadcast more like) with ‘Duchess’ Meghan Manipulator, reveals the ‘TRUTH’ about the Royal Family.

Yes folks, ‘Oprah’ has used her first hand experience to determine that the poisonous viper Markle’s tales of persecution of her poor black victimhood by the evil white British Family are all true. No two sides to this story. Clearly, the villainous Royals were out to get the innocent little black girl when she ‘fell in love with’ (sunk her manipulative claws into) Harry deHalfwit – The Halfblood Prince.

I sincerely hope press stories of Her Maj having finally lost patience with her idiot grandson are true. She could start by taking him off the succession list and taking back the title of ‘Duchess’ that she gave the ungrateful little cow Markle.

As for ‘Oprah’, maybe some ex-pat Brit will poison her bucket of fried Chigun.

Nominated by: Lord of the Rings