The cunt was back last week with a comedy programme.
I know it was comedy because it was exactly the same Alan Partridge act that was mildly amusing, in small doses, back in the 90s. Nothing seems to have changed.
Awkward, embarrassing, needy.
And Partridge is no better.
https://www.radiotimes.com/tv/comedy/steve-coogan-keep-pushing-alan-partridge-newsupdate/
Nominated by: Cuntstable Cuntbubble
SHITE IN A BAG (YOURS TRULY’S LATEST ONLINE MONITIZATION)
For other exciting offerings see below
Overnight Porridge (not what I find in me pants in the morning) Take a bowl of yoghurt or Skyr (must be organic) and mix some porridge oats into it, leave overnight then eat it for breakfast. Sound like cold shit? – it is – oh no it isn’t.
We give you me dears the latest must have internet offering in a trendy box knocked up by some cunt who has quit their job after lockdown and made a career change. IE they have got used to sitting on their arse all day and cannot bear the thought of full time work ever again poor dahling.
Pesto Eggs? Another sub Apprentice internet offering idea in a trendy box. Mix some shelled boiled eggs with a dash of pesto and flog same to the public.
Hedgehog Unsquisher? You get a length orf tube and a pair of gloves with instructions in a trendy box. You stick the tube up its arse and blow.
One orf the above is courtesy the cunning brain pan of old cunt Yours Truly but the others and worse are dead kosher (note hedgehog is not Jewish).
Point of interest chefs and other catering and bar staff are top of the list refusniks leading to mine hosts and cafe owners having to run around in ever decreasing circles. Come end of lockdown it will be all customers and no staff.
Needless all the above and more attended ont telly by much fake twittering and crappola from the usual rentacunts re brand originality, references to M&S, John Lewes, market share, media profile, Debra fucking Meedon and similar bollocks offerings. Creativity and Innovation. Oh yes. De Yoot and bored housewives think they can live their lives online. Farewell cruel world, go shag a digital three hole doll – now that’s blue sky thinking.
Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke
Ebay cunts based in China!!
Not only did these cunts infect the globe with their dog eating disease but they have taken over Ebay to a point where the site is infected forever.
Order something…..ANYTHING that is “based in UK” and low and behold you just gave your money to fund the next outbreak of live octopus pandemic!
And ofcourse you have to wait weeks for the shit to arrive.
I wonder if they dissinfect all these packages at Heathrow?
Ebay is the new plague spreader.
Nominated by: Kendo Nagasaki
It’s terrible isn’t it. I think of all the issues that makes belief in God so difficult for many people it is this problem of human suffering.
Yes why does one person suffer terribly and another seemingly sail through life untouched.
It bothered the Buddha a lot. So much so he went and sat under a tree until he solved the problem to his own satisfaction. Which was basically you must detach yourself from the world to detach yourself from human suffering. Mmm…but how can you become detached if you’re the one suffering? If you have a debilitating disease how can you detach yourself from it?
What do the other great religious traditions say? Well that esteemed English guru Glenn Hoddle sided with Hindu belief and agreed it was something to do with how you behaved in a past life. Karma see. You’re crippled because you acted badly in a previous life.
But does that really answer it? I suppose it is AN answer.
Islam? Allah’s will I suppose. Isn’t it all just Allah’s will. I think there might be a hint of ‘instant’ Karma in their belief. Namely If you behave badly in this life bad things will happen to you… in this life.. Don’t know if that is absolutely correct I am not an Islamic scholar.
The Jews? Well they certainly know about suffering. They have the Book of Job which basically teaches remain stoical and trust in the Lord. The Lord will come through for you in time. Be patient.
Yes the Stoics just grin and bear it. Maybe it allows for ‘character building’ in Stoicism,
don’t know.
What about atheism? It would all seem so pointless to them. All the suffering, all the pain, all the heartache all for nothing. Just hard luck.
Christianity. I was listening to a doctor whose wife died from cancer. He was a member of some evangelical church. And he was saying that even though the other members of the church were loving and supportive it was frowned upon to recognise she had anything wrong with her at all. It was the ‘you’re not getting well because you havent enough faith’ type thing. Pray, pray, pray. Both of them believed it even to doctor not giving her painkillers. So she suffered terribly with much pain and died.
Then he became Catholic and came to believe in the power of ‘redemptive suffering’ That understood correctly means you can grow in love and holiness from it. ‘It was the only thing that made sense’ he said.
I have someone close to me who suffers a lot. Not much in the way of spiritual progression I think. That is because she is busy dealing with the pain. Or busy enduring it. Nothing focuses the mind more than pain. Trouble is the focus is on the pain. Her whole mind is taken up with it.
I suppose these spiritual enlightenments come after the suffering is over. But with my loved one it is on -going. She asks me why does she suffer so much and I give the answer I gave above about growing in love-‘uniting our suffering with Christ’s’. But it does just sound hollow sometimes. it’s hard.
Saint John Paul-‘suffering is good for you’. Discuss.
How do you make sense of human suffering?
Nominated by: Miles Plastic
Megs & Harry two for one special
After shunning the limelight to move to the sleepy village of Los Angeles to enjoy their private life. They’re back (after what a week?)
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-56978021
Meghan is writing a book about a poem she originally wrote on father’s day for Harry. Good job she didn’t write it for her own dad as HG Wells has already written the invisible man and she’d be done for copyright infringement.
But wait there’s more! this Sunday YOU can tune in to watch Vax Live (it’s pre-recorded not live) and see a bunch of millionaires telling you to donate money. The event raised $53.8 (£38.8 million) for Covax, which is working to provide vaccines for low and middle-income countries.
You know if you’d just given a million each you could have raised it yourself, stayed at home and ordered a takeaway you rich attention seeking fucks. Also they only invited people who’d had the vaccine, which probably rules out the target audience of who they’re trying to help as they couldn’t attend.
Nominated by: Lazybiscuits