The best way to stop smoking is to never start. However, just in case our wonderful Government has taken that burden off the shoulders of anyone who turns 18 on or after 1/1/2009 by passing a law making it illegal for them to purchase tobacco.
Of course, no one has ever bought anything ever that they weren’t old enough to buy, not ever. Be interesting to see how that’s going to be policed.
This also raises the question of how the loss of revenue, increasing year on year, from sales of tobacco will be balanced out. By savings for our NHS who would be treating fewer and fewer folk for smoking related illnesses? That’s a very long term prospect and I can’t be bothered to crunch numbers.
In the short term, some of the revenue will be clawed back by taxing vape devices and products, which is ironic as vaping was lauded as the answer to quitting tobacco and, at one time, your GP could prescribe them FOC, along with nicotine patches and gum, to help you quit the evil weed.
I’ll add another link separately about vape tax.
As a footnote, I have been a 20 a day smoker from the age of 15, and I’m 72 now. I cut down to 10/12 simply because cigarettes are unbelievably expensive.
However, I have been advised, strongly, to stop for medical reasons, I won’t go into detail, but I’m proud to say that I have not had a cigarette since 13:00 on 16th April, and I don’t want one, either. However, I do love my new vape, or crack pipe as the Berserker calls it. I am allowed to vape, btw.
Nominated by Jeezum Priest.
Wonder what flavour JP is vaping?
Summer Dream? Blue Razz Lemonade?
Down the park on his electric scooter giving the middle finger to the local PCSO.
15
JPs from sheffield so probably a Hendersons Relish flavour.
13
Hey Mis, I see your dad will have some new material when he next goes to one of Dirty Ange’s relatives parties.
“So oo did Angie av to suck off at HMRC t’ get found not guilty of tax diddlin then”?
12
Minty Menthol actually!
9
When you’re as old as me, you tend to cotton on to newfangled ideas and sense immediately they’re legalised confidence tricksters around. I tend to stick with other cunts on here who know the ropes.
5
Vaping is like a serial killer trying to give up murder.
4
Vapes are miniature car exhaust pipes.
2
It has to be that gorgeous looking Gold Leaf Lotus that started me off smoking. Followed of course shortly after by the JPS Lotus, with all its glamour, & success. Cigarette advertising and racing cars to a young lad, not even a teenager, was hypnotic.
16
When I worked for my local newsagent, a bloke called Sam (lovely bloke, sadly no longer with us), my odd jobs for Sam, as a young lad were paid with shop stock (my choice). So I filled my boots with Cadbury’s Aztec bars, Tizer and copies of Mayfair and Penthouse.
As well as the damage caused to my left wrist and my eyesight, those publications were always filled with glamorous two page ads for Malboros, Silk Cut, Embassy, Peter Stuyvesant, Benson & Hedges and all those. No one gave a fuck and there was none of this nanny state ‘But… But’ shite.
I’ve already quoted Lennon today. Now it’s the turn of the other one. From the close of the White Album…
‘Can you take me back where I came from? Can you take me back?’
12
I’ve just realised, Norman, we’re both United fans and in league with the devil.
3
Too true, Sammy. Jimmy Page is coming round to tea at our place soon.😉
2
Those Aztec bars were the bollocks. Like a Mars Bar, only Cadbury’s, when it really was the finest chocolate in the world. Not this modern Mondolez shite they dish out.
Thinking about it, those 70s and 80s days were like Heaven. United every Saturday at 3pm (fuck Sky), great gigs (Joy Division, Jam, Specials, Police, Stranglers, Buzzcocks), top choccy, a nice drink, jazz mags with proper real women, and a crafty smoke and all. You get these cunts who say ‘Oh, I’d never go back to being young again’, I fucking would like a shot. But not in 2026. Fuck that shite. Only being young again in the late 70s early to mid 80s would do.
5
Easy to say but I should never have started smoking. I was young and bored and stupid. I smoked Embassy, Buckingham (a little cig like No.6), the occasional Park Drive and I even tried Lucky Strike. One day I couldn’t breathe, they took me to hospital and injected me with aminophylline. i thought it was a one-off but eventually it happened again and I knew I had to give up. it wasn’t difficult because I didn’t really have a choice.
That was fifty years ago and I haven’t had one since. I’m trying to work out how much I’ve saved. Going off how much fags are today and how many I used to smoke, it comes to around a quarter of a million quid! Where the fuck is it, that’s what I want to know. It’s not in my bank account.
17
Successive chancellors I imagine.
12
Vapes are like barbers.
Fucking Muslim money laundering operations..!
17
Funny, isn’t it Doc?
How all Vape shops – like barbers – are a all ‘Turkish’ . Which is a posh word for Pakistani.
16
funny how vapes dont seem to have endless legislation and meet certain criterior?
They are,afterall a tobacco product.
seems odd.
in a country overrun with state control and petty laws,
no stamp on the cheap liquids from china.
Theyre always whining about smokerd but dont control something thats helped millions kick cigarettes?
sounds a bit tinfoil hat maybe.
7
Even stood in front of a firing squad you were allowed a final cigarette.
Too dangerous nowadays.
you could damage your health.
might let you have a toot on a vape.
or some nicorette gum.
just fire the fuckin gun will you?
13
I will also allow you to report this old codger to the Bald Napper Association, for still having a full head of hair.
4
My last word on your tadpoles, Mis. If you use them for a short length of time, they should appear automatically on any device you’re using.
3
you stay away from my tadpoles
im a married man.
i’ll report you to the police.
21
I’m a pedantic fucker.
5
Will that be the RSPCC or the RSPCA or both.
6
They should ban e-bikes. Vermin flying along pavements at 35mph. No tax, insurance, number plates or formal training. A child was hospitalised near here recently and I see an old lady has just been killed by one.
But that would make sense and benefit the general public.
12
I’m sure E-Bike’s are band from the pavement. It’s the electric wheelchair that should be band on pavements. Most of the owners are fat lazy bastards.
2
they should ban the Estreet band too.
9
The cunts are a nuisance on roads as well.
6
I don’t think I could vape…I see Dirty Ange does, Streeting probably has Choirboy Vanilla flavour.
9
It’s the utterly ostentatious amount of vape “cloud” that the “smoker” exhales that puts me off..
It smacks off showing off and is distinctly not British.
11
Agreed, and it also has a repellant sweet odour. It is like walking past those bloody candle shops. I prefer the smell of cigarettes.
Speaking of which, I once – very briefly – lived in this woman’s house who was trying to mask the smell of her heavy smoking with those revolting incense sticks – the ones that are left in glass bottles with piss looking oil in them. The stench was fucking unreal, like a scruffy old car. I woke up in the middle of the night with a banging headache and had to move out the next day.
As for Lesley’s preferred flavour, I dare not think about it.
11
where is JP anyway?
hope hes still allowed to play on here when he moves to Barnsley.
8
I’m here, Mis.
I used to smoke menthol cigs and was gutted when the sale of them was banned. Fortunately, some enterprising folk invented drops you put on the filters which mentholised the cigs.
It’ll come as no surprise that my vape flavour of choice is minty menthol. In my early 20s, smoking was banned in the house due to the arrival of babies, so I had a porch built over the back door to make a smoking shelter, and have never smoked indoors since. I find that if I don’t stand outside to vape, I get no satisfaction from doing it.
Just goes to show how much is about habit, routine and comfort rather than actual addiction. I can see myself knocking vaping off in the near future, but not yet.
Ps. I’m told they have reliable internet in Barnsley, so I’ll still be coming out to play.
11
Ange will have ‘Paki Cock Curry Flavour’ or ‘Taxdodger’s Delight’.
6
Always baffled me why people have to take something else to stop them from using harmful substances. Just stop it you weak willed fuckers.
4
Hello JP,
glad to hear it.
i too never smoked indoors.
Missus Miserable has never touched a cigarette in her life.
i preffered smoking outdoors.
i used to like menthol too.
used to buy these fags that you ‘clicked’
sort of popped and they became menthol,
although cant remember the name of them now.
sterling maybe?
12
I am also fond of menthols. I used to get the menthol filter tips for rollies. I get them now for my heated tobacco smoker. Weirdly, you can get these in the UK but as of right now, they have been banned in EU countries. The EU is opposed to menthol for some reason. A brexit benefit perhaps, for now.
3
Mrs Cumber and I always smoked Menthol tabs when we were on holiday in Europe; it made us feel more healthy in the beach!
Thankful we have both managed to stop all that smoking now, although we do both miss having a smokarette as Cumber Junior used to call them. I remember his friend not knowing what a lighter was nor what it was for…
4
As a former grower of tobacco, all I know is the stuff that passes for quality in da yookay is fucking awful, if you’ve ever had the real deal straight from the drying barn nothing else will do, all I can say is prohibition never works, and in fact makes something more desirable, the black market is on the way up, anyway we’ll have to tax fat people now on food, they are the biggest users on the sainted NHS!
12
While going through some interesting blends of tobacco, here are a few:
Grandpa’s Jockstrap.
Owl Pellet.
Rough Shag.
Mouldy Virgin.
Dr. Batty’s Asthma Cigarettes. &
as you dentist, I would recommend Viceroys.
7
I gave up cigs 27 years ago, but I still smoke the green herb. Gold Leaf were my smoke of choice. I’m in Canada now, so ithe green is very available – closest spot to purchase is less than 100 yards down the road. Just got back from a trip through the Rockies in BC where you can pick up an ounce of dynamite for $40 – £21 if you go to a reserve. Yes, I went to a reserve and stocked up!
I never intended to smoke cigs, but I smoked so much hash mixed with tobacco that I developed a nicotine habit. If the green had been available I’d likely have never used tobacco.
5
So I guess the saying “Fuck the foreplay, just get the fags out” with be another one lost in the generations to come.
7
i used to have a old beaten up brass zippo lighter when i smoked.
The flick of my thumb
whomph of the fluid catching light
an meaty click as i folded it shut.
took more petrol than most cars.
highly polished from the years in and out of my hip pocket.
loved it.
“gotra light pal?”
WHOMPPHh!!!
part of his fringe gone😁
13
😁👍
6
Did you light your farts with it as well Mis?
The cause of many a singed hoop back in the day.
9
The ludicrous plume of “smoke” from certain vapes brings to mind foreign lands. Sand wõgs in Marakech… Curry heads charming their snakes and swallowing swords whilst dancing across hot coals… Aladdin and his lamp. Lesley likes to get a lad in, and enjoys some of the other activities mentioned. But will the genie grant him his wish to surpass Rodney as the prime mincer?
7
That Indian Pashma Bedhi was an exception Grasshopper. He was a snake charmer that lived on a bed of nails somewhere in the Herb Garden. Sure he may have reeked of curry, but I never ever, saw him smoking.
4
I stand corrected, m’Lud. I have never been to India and never will. Although I have visited Leicester. I learnt most of what I know about foreign cultures and races by watching documentaries such as Live and Let Die and Octopussy, presented by the fanous anthropologist, Roger Moore. The latter was clear that sword swallowing and snake charming are commonplace on the streets of Indian cities.
5
I used to go out with a bird called April. Looked like Kate Bush and was a superb lay. She smoked rose petal ciggies, people thought the funny smell was dope. The rose petal smokes were in a pink box. I tried one once, bloody horrible.
6
This is what I used for my café creme’s
Look at this product that I found on google.com https://share.google/gWMTVi3XU0OMaduYc
3
Still got it..😁
3
I see Rodney has banned some (wait for it ) ‘Far Right’ people from entering the UK.
Apparently, the government doesn’t want any ‘hate speech’.
Errrr… People are being murdered. Manchester, Westminster, Nottingham, Southport, Heaton Park, Golders Green and God knows where else. Eleven ‘troublemakers’ are stopped entering the country, but hordes of dingy rats and human filth are allowed in to commit these murders.
Get to fuck Rodders, you Romanian Rentie Rimmer. Your brief time is almost over.
11
To Sir Rodney Planethead, the truth is like kryptonite. It makes him very frustrated and causes him to go all brittle and nasal. Look out for these key symptoms and you will know if he is suffering from acute kryptonitis.
3
Norman, have you changed colour? And shape?
1
Rodders is more concerned about Tommy Robinson than he is about Golders Green or Heaton Park Synagogue.
Rodney should fall on his sword, some are saying.
Fall on his sword? The cunt should be fucking minced.
0
Vaping is a timebomb waiting to go off .
I remember how obvious it was when it all started to wean people off fags that people would short cut it by never doing fags and going straight to vapes
Only a serially dim cunt would not have seen that as an outcome
“Oh but they are healthier than fags” they cry.
No , they’ve just had less time to fucking kill you.
Of course, how could heating something until it becomes a chemical aerosol which you then inhale possible be at all bad for your lungs 😂 oh I forgot , it’s all made in “highly regulated ” Chinese factories and those guys have absolutely no reason to want to fuck us over AT ALL.
Give it 20 years and all these Blue Razz kids are fucked
3
& let’s not forget that with all vapes, propylene glycol (Antifreeze to us) is one of the two main constituencies, along with a product called vegetable glycerine. The former is used as a theatre fog. Funny though that if you try it on with your pipe in one of these buildings, you will more than likely get yourself thrown out.
2
But at least with popcorn lung being a major side effect, it will save you buying some at the shop, on the way in.
1
Manchester cult band World of Twist always had ace T-Shirts, based on cig packets like No.6 and Embassy. A lad on Ebay does them and they are top quality. In fact, he does all the classic Madchester era stuff (Mondays, Roses, James, Charlatans, Inspirals). His Stone Roses shirts are better than any ‘official band merchandise’ ones for a start. I have the World of Twist Embassy, Menthol and No.6 T-Shirts off this kid and they are great.
Yeah, World of Twist… RIP Tony Ogden.
https://www.ebay.co.uk/usr/drdassler
1