The Queen’s Platinum Jubilee

Queenie & her Platinum Jubilee.

Well from where I am sitting, vast swaths of the public backstreets will soon be closed off, courtesy of our local arse licking councils, so that we can all have our street parties, & be rest assured that everything will be safe.

No crazy Herpes delivery drivers, or home deliveries, & the paths by then should have been cleared of cars. The usual charity tins will be rattling a plenty, but no one will have the front to ask them for the cause? & there will always be some cunt selling food for 10 times it’s value.

So yes if the old bat does just happen to last for another two months, we can all dwell in this spectacle together!

Hull Daily Mail News Link
(A fabulous link provided by – PTA)

Well I don’t know about how you fellow cunters out there feel, but I would much rather eat my own arse, preferably after a serious bout of E.coli & Norovirus combined, than endure this saggy bag of royal ballshit. “God save the queen?”…Fuck off!

Nominated by: Lord Scunthorpe

The Queen (2)

Queen Elizabeth the Second needs a Cunting.

The lazy old trout is, apparently, planning on taking on far less “Official Duties”. At the age of 91, courtiers believe that she has done her share,and it’s time for the younger royals to step up…. What utter bollocks. I’ve little doubt that I could work into my nineties if all my work consisted of was being ferried around in a Rolls Royce, cutting the odd ribbon, nibbling on a cucumber sandwich and then being whisked off to the races.

She is also responsible for breeding the most dysfunctional family since the Sawney Bean clan were in their pomp. Charles is a selfish arrogant fool. Edward a queer, Andrew a bumptious oaf. Anne,however,is O.K.

Her grandchild William already takes after his father…too stupid to realise that people have had enough of the inbred spongers. I won’t mention that dolt, Harry, because she isn’t related to the half-a-brain waster. Fuck me, even those weird looking great-grandchildren are already showing the Windsor traits of over-indulged,self-important arrogance that Her Majesty has bred through her offspring.

No doubt when the old Kraut finally does the decent thing and gives the taxpayer a bit of relief from having to support her and her indolent tribe,the nation will be expected to go into some grief-fest about the old bag…Not me, although I will raise a glass a woman who managed to con an entire nation into believing that she was some benevolent force who only wanted what was best for the country…She only ever wanted the best for herself and her sponging family.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler.



I’ve got nothing against Liz and her german brood personally but I’m sure they could be doing something more fulfilling and productive.

It’s not monarchies per se but other cunts copying the principle – Noth Korea (KIm Jong Il then Kim Jong Very Ill then Kim Jong Dead (thank you E. J. Thribbs – Private Eye) and the incumbent Kim Jong cunt, Syria, Unites States, various kelptocracies who really push the envelope.

I haven’t, yet, heard of Liz dispensing with the services of a footman or Lady in Waiting (who incur her displeasure) via a firing squad of anti-aircraft fire, but at pushing 90 she’s getting to alzheimer age territory so it may happen.

The hereditary accession to a position of responsibility without any checks for suitability or aptitude is frankly bollox. The UK has a shortage of doctors and maths teachers so why don’t we extend the principle of divine accession to the offspring of our current doctors and maths teachers and save on the 5 or 7 years or whatever it takes to qualify and just bung ’em straight in the hospitals and schools and see what results they achieve.

Nominated by: Mary Hinge-Frottom

The Queen


I’d like to cunt The Queen.

She had all those cunts under one roof, she’s probably not got long left, so what a perfect opportunity to discard Chicken Dave’s manifesto and veer dramatically off course. If only she’d said “You know what? I’m fucking sick to death of all you cunts. Tories are heartless, lying, scaremongering cunts, Labour are a total fucking shambles like a sack full of drowning puppies, LibDem cunts have been pretty much wiped out and rightly so, Greens fuck off and suck Russell Brand’s cock, SNP biggest cunts on the planet, I fucking despise the lot of you. This speech is a fucking waste of time, I’m off home to watch Dickinson’s Real Deal…”

What a classic Queen’s Speech that would have been – but, of course, Betty Windsor bottled it. Fucking cunt.

Nominated by : Fred West