Prince Charles [10]

Yes, the old wingnut is at it again, with his clueless insight as to what constitutes ‘charity’ and his obvious residency of another planet to the rest of us.

His charitable foundation has seen fit to fund the following:



I have seen a lot of cuntery lately, but this cuntery takes the fucking giant hobnob. Forget about the sick and the underprivileged, forget about struggling small community charities, forget about people freezing on the streets at this time of year, lets help useless, criminal, deviant fucktards who got themselves locked up through their own free will to ‘get chill and zen’ while they are banged up.

Apart from the fact that jug ears saw fit to select that old horse to have an affair with and marry, this is more evidence of how he really does not ever play with a full deck. Yes, let’s fund yoga for the poor young offenders as prison is such a nasty place for the little dotes.

The only ‘stretches’ these ASBO wasters should be concentrating on is the stretch inside the place they fucking well put themselves.

HAIRBRAINED (or should that be hairLESS) CUNT!!

Nominated by Nurse Cunty

Prince Charles (8)

Emergency cunting for Prince Charles,
He feels the need to speak out about the Oceans being polluted for the sake of the next generations…
How about all the carbon footprint you and and your family and the staff and empty most of the year properties you ‘own’ cause? What an utter cunt, talk about being a delusional cunt.
Get on your private plane with your private chef and fuck off you cunt.

Nominated by Black and White Cunt.

Old jug ears has once again shown his razor sharp understanding of world issues.

He has praised Somali pirates for the explosion in fish numbers off the east African coast’s failed state. Eco warrior Charlie will have the fish in the Indian Ocean waving Union Flags and hanging out the bunting once he is crowned King. At the same time the salmon, trout, grouse, partridge, foxes and deer of Scotland are perhaps not so keen when he, his family and their entourage of hangers-on are visiting, murdering the fauna and tearing up the countryside for their jollies and japes.

While the fish off the Somalia coast celebrate, since the ‘poor’ village fisherman have found ‘alternative sources of income’, Mo Farah’s abandoned countrymen, Ethiopians, and Eritreans either must starve more than they usually would, make the long trek to Europe for a new life (and millions have) or join the pirates. Why toil away fishing for a few dollars a day when you can make thousands a day from the high seas or enjoy benefits galore in the E.U dreamland of free cash and houses?

Since the year 2000 some enterprising modern day Jack Sparrows have converted their little fishing boats into mini Bismarcks with the help of a few AK47s, RPGs and Uzis. Their prey, the huge unprotected cargo ships carrying hundreds of billions of dollars a year of cargo from Asia to Europe. All they had to do was hijack the ship, hold their crew hostage and demand a multi-million dollar ransom. This was Somalia’s real life version of Monopoly –  with ships instead of hotels in Mayfair – pass go, collect millions and do not go to jail. This game has cost the global economy a mind blowing $12 billion a year (World Bank 2012) over the years, disrupting trade routes, funding regional war, disrupting the lives of locals and helping displace huge numbers of people to Europe. By 2013 it had largely stopped thanks to the Russian and Indian navies patrolling the seas and private security on ships. Unlike the Royal Navy’s meagre attempts in the past to not open fire, the others took a more ‘guns-on’ approach to the problem.

Just this year, the Somali pirates never having bothered with the traditional skull and crossbones ensignia of centuries ago, now seem to be working with the modern black flag meisters of ISIS by moving all sorts of weapons and supplies around for them.

After this epic faux pax by jug ears of supporting thieving, murdering cunts for the sake of some fish, there is no need to fret since the British monarchy will no doubt be assured of longevity and any wavering monarchists need not switch allegiance to the Republican cause.

Republicanism will not stand a chance with Charlie and his equally gifted sons having their hands on the reins of the reign. Charlie boy is a future monarch with his finger firmly on the pulse………..of a corpse.

Nominated by Mike Oxard.




I’ve got nothing against Liz and her german brood personally but I’m sure they could be doing something more fulfilling and productive.

It’s not monarchies per se but other cunts copying the principle – Noth Korea (KIm Jong Il then Kim Jong Very Ill then Kim Jong Dead (thank you E. J. Thribbs – Private Eye) and the incumbent Kim Jong cunt, Syria, Unites States, various kelptocracies who really push the envelope.

I haven’t, yet, heard of Liz dispensing with the services of a footman or Lady in Waiting (who incur her displeasure) via a firing squad of anti-aircraft fire, but at pushing 90 she’s getting to alzheimer age territory so it may happen.

The hereditary accession to a position of responsibility without any checks for suitability or aptitude is frankly bollox. The UK has a shortage of doctors and maths teachers so why don’t we extend the principle of divine accession to the offspring of our current doctors and maths teachers and save on the 5 or 7 years or whatever it takes to qualify and just bung ’em straight in the hospitals and schools and see what results they achieve.

Nominated by: Mary Hinge-Frottom

Charles Philip Arthur George Windsor

Charles ear

C’mon you lot, show some respect. The Prince of Cunts becomes an old age pensioner and there’s not a peep from you. Let me remind you that this man is THE cuntologists’ wet dream, and the debt we owe him can never be repaid.

Son of a Greek immigrant, Charlie is too thick to know he’s thick and yet he has elevated cuntitude to an art form. He has trumped his father’s one brain cell by having none. He has developed his speech impediment so well that only his tomato plants can understand a word he says (which is a blessing). He would have us all back as mediaeval peasants living wattle and daub hovels and on a diet of free-range turnips. He even genuinely thinks that his ginger son is the product of his own loins, when the young cunt is the spit of his real father. But, finally, would anyone but a 24 carat, cunt want to crawl over the drop-dead gorgeous Diana to poke horse-faced Camilla? I rest my case.

The cunt reckons that being the king over us plebs is like being in prison. Well, Charlie, why don’t you fuck off to a real prison? Instead of raking in £19 million a year from taxpayers and assorted peasants, you would only cost £40,000; a saving of £18,960,000 a fucking year.

Nominated by: Bolton Boy

Old Jug Ears

Prince Charles visits Cumbria

His Royal Cuntishness Charles, Prince of Wales, expects us to believe he doesn’t want to be King. Like fuck he doesn’t! Wouldn’t put it past him to push the old girl down the stairs at Buck House.

Mind you, who wants a tree hugging, womanising old scrote like him in the top job anyway? And Queen Camilla – fuck that! Well, actually I wouldn’t but you know what I mean.

Tonight’s the night. We need a guy for the bonfire.

Nominated by : Dioclese