“For just 200 grand, you too could fly to space, just like that Richard Branston Pickle cunt,” said the fake publicity piece I just made up.

Only, would you really go to ‘space’. Now, I’m no massive science cunt, but the traditional line within the scientific community for ‘outer space’ is at 100 kilometres above sea level. It’s known as the ‘karma chameleon line’ or summat. Alright, the ‘Karman Line’.

Beardy’s flight goes about 10 km short of this. NASA, an American government agency remember, set the bar lower in recent years, some say, to make it easier and cheaper to give stripes to their ‘astronauts’. When some cunt from the military comes in and says “How many astronauts have you trained this year with our money?”, they can give a favourable answer. So the theory goes, anyway.

Now I don’t know much about all this as you can tell, but if I paid 200k to go to space, I’d want to go to space. Not 10km from where it starts. Space keeps getting lower. I think in 5 years, he’ll be offering you the chance to stand on a chair for 20 grand a pop.

Almost space though. It’s like paying for a pint and almost drinking it. “Have a look. Have a sniff. Put your tongue about a centimetre from touching the froth on the top of your pint…That’ll be £3.50 please. Now fuck off.”

I missed all the hype about this, because if I see his grinning beardy minge face, I instantly switch over. Then I heard yesterday, that he was minutes away from blasting into space. And it was live on the interwebs. Well, I just had to see that.

I expected, probably foolishly, to see a big fucking rocket like Saturn V blasting off with Beardy inside, crying for his mum and shitting his pants while screaming, ‘I wanna get off! I wanna get off!”

What did I see? A fucking plane taking off and then the ‘rocket’ doing the last part of the climb to ‘almost space’.

What a crock of shite.

Typical virgin. Not taking you all the way.

Virgin in Space

Nominated by: Cuntybollocks

Just for fun here’s an added Jeff Bezos in space cunting courtesy of – Fuglyucker

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2021/jul/20/jeff-bezos-rocket-design-an-inquiry

Jeff Bazos and his flying cock, this cunt one of the richest men in the world, this is because all his Amazon staff work for next to fuck all.
Good ol Jeff has had the neck to thank all his Amazon staff for making it possible for him to be able to be shot into space it what looks to me like a sex toy costing millions.
His Amazon staff must be so pleased their hard work, sweat and graft has mad it possible for this cunt to be able to look down on them from space as well as his security cameras and tell them when they are allowed to take a piss….slave driving cunt

Despite words to the contrary, Microsoft has released the latest Windows OS, and OMG what a complete shitshow they’ve made of it when it comes to finding out if your current PC/Laptop is capable of the upgrade!

Windows 10, was rolled out in 2015. Microsoft insisted that there would be no further versions and that W10 would evolve over the next 10 to 15 years.

Us tech-heads knew that was bullshit because MS can’t help themselves with releasing new versions every 5 or 6 years (good versions that is!) And surprise surprise, 6 years after W10, here comes W11.

However, the PR department at MS really have dropped the ball in terms of letting existing users know if their machines are compatible using their PC Health Check app, and their W11 System Requirements Documentation, both of which came into direct conflict with each other.

Without boring you any further with details, your machine probably won’t be good enough for the free W11 upgrade if you have an old CPU and/or lack TPM2.0 because MS want you to dump your old machine and buy a brand new one with W11 already installed.

Cynics think MS are in cahoots with the big PC manufacturers into wanting you to spend hundreds or even thousands of pounds on new tin just to be able to run W11. Moreover, it also means that a lot of perfectly good PCs will be dumped either into landfill sites or fly-tipped – not very good for the environment (think of poor old Greta!)

MS fucked up the release of Windows 8, and followed up with a half baked 8.1
It then released W10, but every time they rolled out new updates it fixed some problems and created many others, to the point where W10 is wholly unreliable. Which may explain why the guys at Redmond want to brush 10 under the carpet and replace it with W11.

But if they can’t even get their upgrade apps to work correctly, what hope is there of W11 being any more stable than its predecessors?

My advice! Don’t bother with W11 for at least another year. There’s no need to upgrade because quite frankly having installed W11 on my VMware it just ain’t worth the bother.

Linux is the way forward, but if you’re totally dependent in Windows, then stick with 10 for the foreseeable future until the fuck-monkeys at MS get their shit together.

Is My PC Compatible?

Nominated by: Technocunt

and this from our old friend Dioclese

A good few years back I was offered a contract with Microsoft at the ‘campus’ near Reading. Three months, good money, close to home. What could go wrong? Well, they hadn’t a fucking clue and after a week I deliberately caused a ruckus and got my self kicked out.

I remember a banner across the huge developers office. It read “Remember – the future of the world is in your hands today” One night – and no it wasn’t me – someone took a big fat red pen and wrote across the bottom “We’re fucked then!”

Watching the ensuing witch hunt was truly delicious…

Tedious former BBC cunt took the knee on live tv and may well have signalled the beginning of the end, of what seemed like a promising alternative channel.

Harri bends knee during news broadcast

Looks like I’ll just watch Sky Australia and TFI Global from now on.

Nominated by: mystic maven 

Seconded by: mikdys

One month in and it’s gone woke

Best given a miss like the rest of the poxy MSM – total disappointment

And then there’s this courtesy of Cuntstable Cuntbubble.

It didnt take long did it? These metropolitan cunts cant help it. Some cunt took the knee on air. Fuck me we know that the St Marcus graffiti wasnt racist, just pointing out what a useless cunt he is.

Which, naturally hasnt been given any BBC coverage. But it must be emphasised that we are a nation of racist cunts. So some nonentity takes the fucking knee.

Seems to have gone down like Huge Grant’s pick up as GB News now records no measurable viewers.

I thought GB News was supposed to be a counter to the biased shite we get from the BBC. Apparently not. Fuck me drunk.

Viewing Figures Plummet for GBNews

I’d like to nominate The Guardian.

Their “woke central” editorial is bad enough but now they are starting to have a go at pensioners:

Pension Lock Demise

Here’s the thing about the “pension lock” though: it was brought in to partially address the UK’s state pension being one of the worst, meanest, state pensions there is. It’s designed to lift the state pension to prevent it lagging behind inflation due to a variety of factors including, believe it or not, abnormal increases in average wages.

Moreover, even were state pension to rise by the mooted 8% next year that would put somewhere around £42 paltry pounds extra in a pensioner’s pocket each month. Maybe enough to cover the cost of the council tax and TV licence increases next year. That’s right, £42 a month, not the £2,500 pounds a month some millennials have been scamming out of the furlough scheme. And this is only if the 8% is forthcoming. If not, then pensioners’ income will continue to slide.

No doubt some middle class pensioners, of the type who probably read this toilet paper rag, have gold plated final salary pension schemes based on an inflated last year salary bumped up by their mates in the Civil Service having spent a working lifetime administering the fucking over of the plebs. These cunts could afford to lose the “pension lock”. But for every one of these wastes of skin there are probably a thousand plebs out there struggling to get by on a state pension which pays 50% of the UK’s statutory minimum wage.

I have a solution. Don’t scrap the “pension lock” – euthanise The Guardian staff and its readers instead that will save much more money. Pure, unadulterated,

Nominated by: mikdys 

Do I need to actually add a caption to this?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-57722068

Its just been revealed the Linekunt took a 400 grand pay cut. Goodness me the crispy old cunt must really be on the breadline now, Tuesday’s report showed he earned £1.36m in the 2020/21 financial year, down from £1.75m.

It really must be a struggle making ends meet for the jug eared arse.

To think mine, yours, our license fee goes on paying “stars” such as this, this much money on a public broadcasting service boils my piss.

Not to mention Zoe “i only got jobs because of my Daddy” Ball on over £1m as well.

Fuck Al-Beebira, fuck the Linekunt…the only thing that can stay thats associated with him is a bag of Walkers.

Prawn cocktail or roast chicken preferably.

Fuck off FA Cup tabs.

Nominated by: GeneralZod