Virgin Galactic (3)

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“For just 200 grand, you too could fly to space, just like that Richard Branston Pickle cunt,” said the fake publicity piece I just made up.

Only, would you really go to ‘space’. Now, I’m no massive science cunt, but the traditional line within the scientific community for ‘outer space’ is at 100 kilometres above sea level. It’s known as the ‘karma chameleon line’ or summat. Alright, the ‘Karman Line’.

Beardy’s flight goes about 10 km short of this. NASA, an American government agency remember, set the bar lower in recent years, some say, to make it easier and cheaper to give stripes to their ‘astronauts’. When some cunt from the military comes in and says “How many astronauts have you trained this year with our money?”, they can give a favourable answer. So the theory goes, anyway.

Now I don’t know much about all this as you can tell, but if I paid 200k to go to space, I’d want to go to space. Not 10km from where it starts. Space keeps getting lower. I think in 5 years, he’ll be offering you the chance to stand on a chair for 20 grand a pop.

Almost space though. It’s like paying for a pint and almost drinking it. “Have a look. Have a sniff. Put your tongue about a centimetre from touching the froth on the top of your pint…That’ll be £3.50 please. Now fuck off.”

I missed all the hype about this, because if I see his grinning beardy minge face, I instantly switch over. Then I heard yesterday, that he was minutes away from blasting into space. And it was live on the interwebs. Well, I just had to see that.

I expected, probably foolishly, to see a big fucking rocket like Saturn V blasting off with Beardy inside, crying for his mum and shitting his pants while screaming, ‘I wanna get off! I wanna get off!”

What did I see? A fucking plane taking off and then the ‘rocket’ doing the last part of the climb to ‘almost space’.

What a crock of shite.

Typical virgin. Not taking you all the way.

Virgin in Space

Nominated by: Cuntybollocks

Just for fun here’s an added Jeff Bezos in space cunting courtesy of – Fuglyucker

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2021/jul/20/jeff-bezos-rocket-design-an-inquiry

Jeff Bazos and his flying cock, this cunt one of the richest men in the world, this is because all his Amazon staff work for next to fuck all.
Good ol Jeff has had the neck to thank all his Amazon staff for making it possible for him to be able to be shot into space it what looks to me like a sex toy costing millions.
His Amazon staff must be so pleased their hard work, sweat and graft has mad it possible for this cunt to be able to look down on them from space as well as his security cameras and tell them when they are allowed to take a piss….slave driving cunt

 

56 thoughts on “Virgin Galactic (3)”

  1. Fuck you Branson. “Looking down on our beautiful, beautiful earth” which, as Greta will tell you, you have helped to fuck up so you can get stinking rich.
    How dare you!

    • Never understand why rich cunts want to go into space?
      Nowt there only danger and well… empty space.
      Fuck that.
      200grand, to play astronaut.
      More money than sense.
      Youd have to pay me more to get me in the fuckin thing!
      Floating about like a fuckin crisp packet on a windy day?
      Naw.
      Especially if stuck in the thing with Richard Branson.
      The grinning, goofy cunt.

      • Branson would be first pick to share a rocket with…imagine the fun of stuffing his head down a space- toilet after you’ve had a fucking good dump..how I’d giggle as the turds floated up out of the water right into his “In space nobody can her you scream” face…and of course when I got bored of tormenting him with my rancid air-borne shits,I’d give him a fucking good beating afore opening the door and chucking the Cunt out.

        Morning,Mis
        Morning,All

      • Morning Dick,
        Ive already reached for the stars with a virgin.
        And I burnt up on reentry.
        😁😁

  2. I’d happily push Branson and Bazos to Uranus in a fucking wheelbarrow as long as they promised to stay there.

    • Just for bragging isnt it?
      Ive just bought a super yacht
      Ive just bought a race horse
      Well, I…have been into space!
      (Smugly looks round room to see if everyone heard).
      Hes get a short reply from me,

      “So fuckin what?”

      • That the cunt came back in one piece is the biggest problem for me.
        Here’s hoping he gets overconfident, and he crashes and burns.
        I’m guessing his space-borne spasmotron wasn’t electric, the cunt.

    • It’s the future of Humanity that worries me when I read about Branson in Space…what will the Martians think if that bearded Wanker is their “Close Encounter of The Turd Kind”?…They’ll have the ray-guns trained on Planet Earth and zap us into oblivion before the Cunt has finished asking if their Govt. would like to pay for him to run a space-shuttle….and I certainly wouldn’t blame them.

      • Bezos will probably force the alien spaceships off the road as he screeches in at 3 times the speed limit before stamping on the box of ” Gifts of Peace from Mankind”,stealing their garden ornaments,taking a shit behind the potting-shed and leaving a card saying ” Your Amazon parcel has been safely delivered”

      • He’ll probably sexually molest The Soup Dragon too…the filthy Cunt.

      • I don’t like these tycoon motherfuckers in Space.
        They’re the last people we want representing us to the intergalactic community.
        We’d have to send Leonard Nimoy or William Shatner to broker for peace!
        Maybe David Icke?

        Keep your eyes on the skies
        Truthseekers….
        👾👾

        (WF didn’t like tycoon – Day Admin)

  3. Is this the same cunt who was angling for money for Virgin Atlantic? He’s got enough money to spunk on this wankfest. Cunts to a man. Fuck off.

  4. If it’s not quite space I wonder if there is a leak will the capsule implode,turning the intrepid spacemens into offal?
    That’s all I want to know about these Jupiter sized cunts.

    When Space Mince?

  6. I remember the days when the super rich were content with killing themselves in helicopters or under maintained private jets. This is just a big willy contest between two odious cunts that will undoubtedly end in disaster. Anyway, I remember that Professor Brian Cox going up in a US jet to about 70km and experiencing more or less the same view, minus the momentary weightlessness, a few years ago. That probably cost the bbc about £12.80 return. And to think that bearded, toothy, perpetual hippy lobbied our government to bale out his fucking airline whilst funding this shit.

    • James May went up in a U2 spy plane for his TV show (before he turned into a full blown Islington cunt) quite a few years back and was nearer to being a genuine astronaut than these two “look at me” pricks.
      If only they’d burned up upon re-entry…

      • Sadly, they’ve nothing to re enter, as they never actually exit into space. I swear it should fall under the trade descriptions act.

  7. $200 grand US to almost go to space, that’s a bigger pile of shite than the $1200-$8000 Oz to fly to Antarctica and back without landing, no roast penguin luncheon whilst watching sea elephants fight or harpooning a blue whale, bollocks.

  8. Hopefully the next time Branson, Bezos or some other egomaniac with too much money is up in space pretending to be Neil Armstrong, the Daleks are doing a flyby and exterminate the cunts.

    On second thoughts, maybe the Daleks can capture Branson and torture him like Davros did Harry and Sarah in 1975. I’d subscribe to Skaro TV to watch that.

    • Maybe they’ll run into the Gay Daleks, and get plungered to death.
      “experminate!!”
      It’s odd how many people claim an encounter of the 3rd kind get a ally probed…

  9. When I heard Big Dick had “nearly” got into space, it reminded me of the old trolleybus route in the 1950s, whose destination board always read “Near Cricklewood Broadway” – I don’t know how near, but probably not near enough on a rainy winters day.

    • I remember my sis (not Dolly!) telling me of some graffiti she saw upstairs on an old Route aster…
      “Thunderbird 2, Fly me to the zoo!”

  10. “In space, no one can hear you talk out of your fucking arse”
    If only, the grinning Uber cunt…

  11. On the one hand – it’s good that private companies are developing cheaper (comparatively speaking) and more efficient ways to go into space. The technology can only be beneficial to manned space flight.

    On the other hand – it’s bad that the field of manned space flight has been left open to egotistical cunts like Branson and Bezos. Especially Bezos who couldn’t even find anything inspiring to say but instead said he would send up a poet next time to describe the scene. Let’s hope he doesn’t send Benjamin Zephaniah-

    ‘I am in dee Space,
    Looking down on dee human race,
    And it is fuckin ace…..”

    Part of the problem is that space agencies have lost interest in manned space flight. All they do is shuttle astronauts back and down from the ISS. We should have manned bases on the moon by now and we should have stepped foot on Mars. The technology exists but the will, what Tom Wolfe called “the right stuff”, has gone.

    It’s fantastic that we have sent robotic probes to all the planets and major moons in the Solar System. The knowledge we have gained has been stupendous- so much that it’s not all been fully analysed yet. Voyager 1 is now in interstellar space. Fantastic!

    Until the agencies get their mojo back for manned space flight, expect more cunts in space, hogging the limelight.

    As for the Karman line, we’ll it’s highly debatable where space begins. The Earth’s atmosphere has no sharp edge. You could argue that it begins where the influence of Earth’s magnetosphere peters out – this is the tens of thousands of kilometres out, beyond even the ISS, and no one says the ISS is not in space. But the Karman line is a sensible compromise because it’s the point at which orbital forces cancel aerodynamic forces – in other words, the point where generating lift with a wing becomes impossible and orbital gravity takes over.

    So Beardy was in space – just.

    • That was uncanny, MMCM – it was as if you suddenly became Mr. Zephaniah!

      Wireless 4 is plugging another Dark Key “Poet” now simply called George The Poet innit.

      • It’s difficult to say with precision exactly where the Karman line begins. The internationally recognised limit is 100 Km up, but this is a little arbitrary – it could be a bit lower or a bit higher. NASA set it at 80km and classes anyone an astronaut who flies above this. Certainly Beardie would have experienced weightlessness and to all intents and purposes it would have felt as if he was in Space. But to put it beyond contention he should have gone over the internationally recognised Karman line.

  12. Hopefully Bazos will have to come in for a hard landing in his flying cock, right in Katy Prices blow hole….

    • Harvey crashed his new mobility scooter the other day. Hardly surprised who thinks its a good idea to give a wonkey eyed spazdick a mobility scooter. The guy is going off a cliff soon quicker than a gay in ISIS.

  14. Branson has more lives than a fucking cat.

    We can only hope that next time, a passing pirate-space-ship from the Somali space programme, board his vessel and gang rape him (without using his fucking tackily named condoms) and give him “space AIDS”.
    A fitting end for the annoying cunt👍

  15. Following 2001 and Star Trek, I find this Branson Bezos shite all rather boring, as were the moon landings in 1969.

    Couldn’t they think of anything more useful to spend their money on? How about setting up a Thunderbirds type operation on a secret island somewhere and take out the Chinese government?

  16. Branson has almost been to almost space, he can save that for his headstone 😂
    Cunt.

    I wonder if the Amazon rocket has vibrate mode 😉

    • Bezos may as well have gone all the way and painted his space cock black and called it Big black Rod. “Its coming back in for re-entry”.

  17. Take the car to the shop for food and essential supplies?
    HOW DARE YOU!!!
    Go for a spin on your old motorbike?
    HOW DARE YOU!!!
    Two egomaniacs blast off on a joyride using huge quantities of expensive rocket fuel with no useful or scientific purpose?

    Utter silence.
    Fuck off Greta…

  19. Overwhelmed by emotion when I read of Branson’s forthcoming journey to the great beyond. How wonderful that this treasure of humanity to carry his beliefs into space that other creatures may benefit from his vast knowledge. The cunt came back, bastard. Then to increase my growing misery that Amazon cunt did a similar thing in a space ship modelled on a prop from that entertaining film Flesh Gordon. He flew up and away in a giant dildo, he to returned, BLM, cunts in space, Chinky bat flu, aaaargh the meds will have to be increased, no longer allowed to shop on my own it’s getting worse.

  20. NASA and all the other “space” agencies just present us with theatre. It’s been a deception for a long, long time. But you have to look into it for yourself, don’t take anyone’s word for it. I had my doubts in the late-90s and over the years it became clearer what has been going on. It’s all a deception. “Outer space” is science fiction. It would take hours, days to go into it all and this thread might turn into a dumpster fire and it’s the weekend, never red pill on the weekends!

    I’m not out to convert or convince anyone. I’m still figuring it out myself after 20 years. But NASA are just a public relations front to promote the increasingly nihilistic worldview for the masses and hide the true reality. The fakery used to convince everyone, but now it’s comical how bad it is, the shitty CGI that looks like a 1990s video game. It’s like they WANT US to know it’s all been a deception.

  21. Typical self aggrandisement. Galactic? The cunt only just made it off the planet, and certainly not far enough off it for my liking.

    • Not content with being one of the biggest cockheads on the planet, Branson now wants to be the first cunt into space.
      That’s it you wanker, just follow the trajectory of Voyager…

  22. I wish he’d disappear into a black hole (And no, I’m not talking about flabbott either!)

  24. I guess the grinning cunt and Bezos both felt that they’d have to ride their machines themselves in order to generate confidence in their safety (the machines, that is. Guaranteeing Branson’s harmlessness would be a dangerous move)

    Branson’s hybrid motor is an impressive development, though. Mainstream rocketry has fixed on solid/ solid or liquid/liquid propellant/oxidant combinations, I guess for reasons of engineering convenience, but the hybrid may make more commercial sense, assuming it is indeed capable of reaching orbital velocity with a useful payload. It won’t make him a profit, though. It will go the way of all Virgin projects – they have a funny habit of shooting skyward, bursting in a shower of brilliant lights – and, once the grinner has lost interest, the stick falls quietly to earth.

  25. I also paid no attention to these cunts´ stunts and thought they were both going up together in the same spaceship and would orbit the earth for weeks like real astronauts. I noticed but ignored all the hype ahead of the “blast-off”, blinked then read that they had come down to earth again. How long were these two dummies actually in “space”?

  26. Dont forget about the third space nut cunt Elon Musk, wont belong before all the carbon his shitty battery cars save are used by him and his rocket shinanigans…

  27. I’d rather spend £3,500 for 45 minutes in a Spitfire. Proper experience.

  28. It’s inevitable that this cock measuring stunt will end in a heap of wreckage in the Desert.! Now that I will watch.!

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