Just read an interview with Michel Roux Jr (there was an earlier version of the cunt).

He is furious. He could have throttled the govt when they had the gall to close down his top persons’ cafe in the west end. I mean didn’t they realise these sort of people don’t contract viruses? They pay others to do that for them.

Roux says of the govt: “It was appalling what they did to us.”

Poor Michel (who trained those gentle, humble souls Gordon Ramsey and Michel Pierre White) is at his wit’s end. And really his prices are quite reasonable – £76 for a 3 course lunch (with wine). Or if you are more than just peckish an 8 course dinner (with wine) just £373. Each. I mean, it makes a change from maccyDs or domino’s.

He did furlough his staff though (thank you nasty govt).

And his restaurant is due to reopen soon but he is not sure there will be so many mugs around to pay such sums for fancy food now when it is, in reality, tomorrow’s waste product.

Will you be joining the queue for le Roux?

Like all celeb cooks (for that is what they are, not fucking artists) he is a pretentious prat.

Nominated by: Lord Helpuss

If you’re foolish enough to go on websites run by the likes of the Daily Mirror or Daily Mail, you may also be familiar with having to press ‘Ctrl+Alt+Delete’ whenever you try to navigate their site. Ad blockers? About as much use as a vegetarian restaurant in Wuhan.

Yes, I now ignore any links to most newspaper websites due to the amount of utter shit and spyware they’re infested with. You can get videos auto playing, the screen freezing as you try to scroll the page down or indeed, just the plain old frozen screen that can crash your fucking computer.

‘We see you’re using an adblocker’. Yes, to stop cunts like you shoving spyware onto my computer or just throwing on auto play videos over what I’m trying to read. No, don’t make the mistake of turning off your adblocker, just to get access. Not unless you want to see what using a ZX81 to access the internet would be like.

Calling themselves ‘news websites’ should be a matter for Trading Standards. They’re virus, spyware and pop-up advert sites,

Fuck off.

Nominated by: Cuntybollocks

Don’t continue reading if you’re about to eat! – admin

I’ve been suffering big time lately with my Plymouth’s.

Every time I wipe my arse, it looks like the Japanese flag or even worse, the Chinese.

Having to push the fucking things back up your ring. Shoving the suppository up waiting for suction to do the rest. Delightful. The fuckers even wake me up in the middle of the night, throbbing like a thumb hit with a hammer. I’m actually walking like John Wayne if HE had piles.

Oh for the bliss of a clean nip after a shit, one wipe and all done.

Piles are a pile of cunt.

Nominated by: Bob Frapples

With apologies to Admin, because when I first cunted this cunt I was a drunk cunt, but now I am (briefly) a sober cunt, so I shall attempt to cunt again the cunt known as…

CHARLIE ZELENOFF

Who is Charlie Zelenoff you might ask?

Why, he is nothing other than the bulb-headed, weak-chined, noodle-necked, slump-shouldered, sunken-chested, self-proclaimed Boxing Champion of the Whole Wide World!

What he is in actual fact is a wretched drunken hobgoblin of a man that periodically emerges from his mother’s condominium in LA to assault total strangers on the street and record these ‘fights’ on YouTube as professional boxing ‘wins’.

When innocent passers-by are in short supply, he will harass real boxers on social media in an attempt to provoke them into the ring, and is willing to make death threats against a disabled child if he thinks it will get a response (as indeed it did in the case of Deontay Wilder and his daughter).

When all else fails, he will simply order a pizza and then sucker-punch the elderly delivery guy.

He also believes Kim Kardashian is madly in love with him.

The cunt.

Nominated by: Chimp Licker