Earlier this week I was doing the weekly shop and at the checkout there is a young-ish couple in front trying to pay at the till using Apple Pay*

Unfortunately for them neither of their phones would work on the contactless scanner. So at this point you’d think they’d whip out the credit cards/debit cards or cash and pay the old fashioned way…right?

No. Like the Her Maj the Queen, neither of them carry money.
“Dean, you’ll have to go check in the car babe, see if my purse or credit card is in the car”.

By this time the queue is becoming a conga line. Her phone rings. It’s Dean, I expect he said something along the lines of “There’s no purse in the car babe”. At this point he must have gone home to get some actual physical method of payment, leaving the wannabe Towie star girlfriend to wait with the shopping.

Fortunately, the checkout supervisor sees whats going on and puts the shopping to one side so the rest of us can carry on with out lives.

Why in the fuck would you leave the house to go shopping without money or a credit/debit card.

What also vexed me was their persistence in calling each other “Babe”.
Fuck off with that shit. It reminded me of ‘ickle Maaark Owen from TakeThat, singing a Dogawful song of that same name back in 1994 and I had flash backs from it. “The horror…..the horror.”

*Other mobile payment service are available.

Nominated by: Harold Steptoe

MPs are expected to get a pay rise of more than £3,300 next year after the Commons watchdog recommended that it should go ahead.

The QUANGO, the Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority(IPSA) have proposed that MPs’ wages should carry on being linked to the average rise for public sector staff as it launched a consultation on salaries.

As a result, this would mean MPs, including those working at home, getting an extra £3,360 to their salaries of £81,932.

Fuckin’ hell, are these fuckin cunts brain dead?

After the debacle of Parliament over the last couple of years, it would be difficult to see any reason to give MP’s any rise. At a time of such hardship for many people, how could this rise be justified? MP’s in theory have no say in the matter but this government must not only turn this down but scrap the cunts that make up IPSA.

I’m finding now that very little shocks me and I‘m having to take double blood pressure tablets to retain my sanity. IPSA are fuckin’ cunts who don’t live in the real world.

Nominated by: Bertie Blunt Tory Cunt

This is a far flung cunting for all media training companies and their customers, and the BBC, who have created and transmitted the abomination of every motherfucker who gives an interview feeling they have to proceed their answer with the word “so”. They all do it from the company chairman, the politician, the expert and old Mavis who has just won this years Guiness Book of Records nomination for producing the largest bogey from the human nose.

You know the sort of thing you – you get it on You & Yours every day:

Presenter: I have with me Mr. Gaybody from the mobile phone company two and a half. Mr. Gaybody why are two and a half making this change?

Mr Gaybody: How are you Emily?

Presenter: I am very well thank you – what is the answer?

Mr Gaybody: So – thank you for inviting me on. So – the reason two and a half are doing this…..

There follows the usual catalogue of self justifcation and boasting, usually ending up with an offer of something “we will provide FOR free”

If it is free why not just say that why add “for”?

The “so” thing has become common only in the past couple of years (about the same time that every interviewee started making their voice go up at the end of a sentence to make it sound like a question rather than a statement, making even a sixty year old man sound like a thirteen year old Australian girl.)

It is a minor piss-boiling matter, but it really gets on my tits.

Perhaps they ought to close Wireless 4 down, and bring back the days of the Home and Light, and at lunchtime have Victor Sylvester playing for our dancing pleasure.

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs 

(So there you go….. DA)

Just gave a press conference where she insulted the UK, saying America has a much more stringent drug development and testing regime than the UK and she would be concerned if Trump took our drugs whereas it would be okay for Boris to take them …………….How fucking rude that wizen old bitch is.

Nominated by: Sideline Sid

(More here – DA )

and seconded by W. C. Boggs

NANCY PELOSI:

A Stars & Stripes Forever cunting please for the whorecunt of American politics, the raddled Nancy Pelosi, who, in yet another desperate tirade has cast aspersions on the British vaccine (we hope) for Covid 19:

More here

Her transparent excuses are as fake as her multi face-lifited visage.

God help us all, if Grandpa Biden gets into office next month. While he is sitting shitting on his chair in the White House, old hags like this raddled old cunt will be the power behind the throne ensuring the UK gets extra punishment for defying Pops Obama over Brexit.

The old shit stirrers mask gets bigger every day. Perhaps she will finally suffocate herself in it, if we are lucky.

So I watched Boris give his keynote speech to the so-called conservative’s conference the other day. Three times in fact, being the masochistic cunt that I am. Aside from the fact it sounded like a toddlers christmas list well beyond the parental budget, there was something a bit.. strange about it.

Then I heard rotten crotch geriatric Biden use exactly the same phrase in his speech that Bojo used in his. How odd.. – goes to google, searches for ‘Build Back Better’. The bufty canuck Trudeau used it too I see. The fuck? The IMF. World Bank. The UN too. Muy interesante!

Interesting that COVID isn’t even over and they’re already talking about a green and digital global renaissance of our shattered economies, don’t you think? That we can’t go back to normal. That we must embrace this New Jerusalem.

Are we going to be consulted and offered a vote on this new direction? Or even just a debate? I guess they have finally realised the phrase ‘New World Order’ was a bit too overt.

Oh, and you mentioned something about a ‘Digital ID’, Boris?..

Nominated by: The Big Chunky Cunty 

(For those inclined, more info here – DA  https://www.buildbackbetteruk.org/)

…and ably supported by: General Cuntster (Deceased) 

I would like to offer a short second to The Big CC’s Build Back Better nomination.

These are code words for the radical left who wish to destroy our traditional way of life.

In order to usher in their brave New World they must first burn down the old world (as exemplified by Britain, Canada and the US) and then “Build Back Better.”

Beware that cunty phrase and fuck the Lefty cunts who embrace it