Have you ever pondered the question ‘why did the chicken cross the road?’. Well in Bradford at least, it may be to avoid the unwelcome attentions of a certain ethnically persuaded individual by the name of Rehan Baig.

Last year the scuffers raided his house on a tip that the cunt was in possession of child porn, but found even more than they bargained for. Film was found (taken by Baig’s charmless wife Haleema) of him having intercourse with live chickens, and even inter-acting with his wife at the same time.

There was also film of the gruesome twosome ‘romping’ (as ‘The Stun’ might put it) with a dog. The images were stored on computer under ‘family vids’.

Baig has now been sent down (or as ‘The Stun’ might again put it, ‘Sex Beast Caged’) and put on the sex offenders’ register. Although the films suggested that Mrs B had been a willing participant, she of course claimed ‘domestic abuse’ and got off with a suspended sentence.

Blimey, I’d like to be a fly on the wall of the prison canteen, and can envisage a conversation something like this;

‘Basher Bloggs’; ‘wot yer in fer mate?’
Baig; ‘I am being here for possession of naughty kiddy images. And for having sexy fun with chickens and a dog’
‘Basher’; ‘fook me, did ya put ’em in’t curry after?. Right lads, ‘old this cunt down, an’ I’ll kick his fookin’ ribs in’

It’s really hard to fathom what makes people act the cunt like this. Part of a certain cultural heritage perhaps? Anyway, it’s clucking fowl is what it is.

Nominated by: Ron Knee

and seconded by: mystic maven

A KFC bargain bucket cunting for Rehan Baig, recently sentenced to three years for having sex with chickens, yes.

Not much more I can say here, so read the story for yourselves. His wife’s a cunt too for assisting him with his perversions.

https://uk.yahoo.com/news/depraved-man-sex-chickens-is-jailed-074356036.html

(Chickens’ Lives Matter – DA)

and thirded by: Everyonesacunt

Rehan Baig. Aged 37and his wife Haleema.
Often I am overly Verbose when writing things however, this is one time that words are really failing me.

This piece of scum has been sentence for raping poultry to death while his dear wife filmed it. What the Fucking fuck fuck.
Other misdemeanours include sex with a dog and a catalogue of child pornographic pictures.
See link https://www.opindia.com/2020/10/uk-37-year-old-paedophile-named-rehan-baig-jailed-for-raping-chickens-to-death-while-his-wife-filmed-it/

He received 3 years inside at Bradford crown court she 6 months suspended. ( She claimed, possibly true? that he abused her)

WTFFF. I here by pass a new sentence that he attends all of Barrymore’s future pool parties. For a very long time. Fucking depraved Cunt.

(A bonus nom for Saturday evening, just to put you in a good (or fowl, ha!) mood for when you tuck into your Sunday Dinner of Roast Chicken & Rehan Baig stuffing. – DA)

I’ve just watched a programme ‘Five Guys A Week’ where 5 men were vying for a woman’s affections over a week.

All five contenders agreed they were middle class. Except one. He said he was working class. There was a blanket shunning of him after that. How out of place he was. Pathetically at one point looking round for someone to talk to and there was no-one.

Reminding me of Joe in Great Expectations trying to fit in with Pip’s new friends. Dickens captures the clash of classes brilliantly. Anyway he stuck it for a night but the very next morning he made his apologies to the woman and scarpered.

When he was gone no-one directly referred to his class but you could tell they knew that was the reason he had left.

There’s a great debate about ‘inclusion’ regarding race and gender in our society. But the real discrimination or distinction is and always has been class isn’t it? We all know growing up in England that we are in some way hermetically sealed in our own class. And more importantly can be identified by some mysterious sixth sense the English have. That’s why I have never really believed in ‘social mobility’ or ‘becoming middle class’.

How accurate that TW3 sketch with John Cleese, Ronnie Barker, Corbett is. Ronnie C repeating ‘I know my place’. But the truth of the class system is every one ‘knows their place’

Getting back to great expectations. I suppose to be compatible you have to have the same expectations. That word was used a great deal in the programme. I thought at one point Charlotte (the woman) was going to exclaim like Pip ‘I have great expectations!’. She quizzed the men all week about their expectations. And her parents as well when they came to look them over- ‘what are your expectations?’ wiill you be able to fulfill her expectations?’

I would like to say here Charlotte was cold like Estella but she wasn’t really. She was nice enough.

There was little humour in any of them. Certainly no fun like you would get with a group of working class people.

Maybe it was just boring bunch. But I seem to have met them somewhere before. Yes there was the doctor’s sons from over the way I felt uncomfortable with growing up. Not snobbery or anything just I couldnt get anything out of them. Different interests I suppose. But the truth they weren’t really interested in anything other than schoolwork, getting on.

My ex-brother in law comes to mind. He went to a private school. But once again there was nothing in him. We talked sports. I cannot think of his political views. He wasn’t passionate about anything.

I don’t know but I like rough and ready working’ class people. They famously don’t have ‘Great Expectations’. And maybe that’s a good thing.

The message of Great Expectations of course- don’t pretend who you are not. But I think a lot of the middle class ARE pretending. It’s the class that pretends. In that sense the upper class and working class are freer. Middle class people are too preoccupied with their expectations. It’s too comfortable. It is better to expect the unexpected.

What is the word I am looking for regarding them? Tepid or lukewarm or something.. Or they’re not human enough.

Just my experience.

I must read Great Expectations again

Nominated by: Miles Plastic .

The John Lennon 80th ‘Birthday celebrations’. What a load of cunt.

All manner of look at me mongs have been wishing the late Beatle a happy 80th birthday over the past few days. Only thing is, he ceased to be when he was 40. When he was murdered in 1980. Lennon would have been 80 years of age had he lived, but he didn’t. How the fuck can someone have an 80th birthday when they died 40 years ago?!

Commemorate 80 years since his birth, or say ‘He would have been 80 this year’. But actually wishing a dead man a happy 80th birthday that he never got to see? My dad would have been 80 two years ago. And although I gave him a thought on the day of his birthday (May 26th) I didn’t say ‘Happy 80th birthday, dad’. One would have to be fucking stupid to do that. But there are a lot of stupid people out there. Of course, it’s de rigueur for imbecilic twats on social media to wish dead people a happy birthday. But the way cunts have gone on about Lennon, anyone would think he was 80 years old and that he was still alive. Even that cunt McCartney has got in on the act. Wishing on Twitter (where else?) his old sparring partner a happy birthday. Macca wrote ‘Happy 80th, John’. What is the fucking point?! It’s not as if the bloke is here to read it, is it? Why doesn’t the dozy thumbs aloft cunt also invite messrs Harrison, Epstein, Martin and Sutcliffe to the party too and have done with it?

Surely It would surely be more appropriate to commemorate the man on December 8th 2020, the 40th anniversary of his assassination? Mind you, that wouldn’t be done with must taste or dignity either. That would also be hijacked by attention seeking social media cunts and old rock ‘n’roll relics who can’t tell the difference between people who are dead or alive.

Nominated by: Norman 

I just want to cunt the forthcoming clock changes.

This bollocks wasn’t too bad when I was younger, but now it fucks me up big time.

What is the point or benefit in carrying on with this nonsense in a 24 hour world? (Covid restrictions excepted of course)

The EU have decided that in 2021, that member states have to decide once and for all which time zone they want to permanently adopt. Daylight saving in March or normal time in October. It’s probably the only thing i’ve ever agreed with the cunts on.

I don’t give a toss which is chosen for the UK, but for fuck sake just leave it one way or t’other for good.

Nominated by: BendyDick CùmInYaSnatch

(At time of writing (24/10/20) don’t forget to put your clocks back tonight. (I don’t think this applies to our friends in the States however. 1st November possibly). This means an extra hour in bed with your favourite blow-up doll or greased up left hand thinking of a 3-way with Flabbott & Butler- DA)