Avatvars.

Some on this site are good – Fistula, Fiddler, Jack the Cunter, Shackledragger and Routledge – but in general avatars are as forgettable as an advert on a bush shelter. They´re either a snap of the person smiling, alone or with his ugly wife, fat girlfriend, spoiled brat or scabby dog. Sometimes a fuzzy landscape from a Holiday trip. As the avatars are miniscule, they give no idea of the extent of the Grand Canyon or view from the top of the Eiffel Tower. Waste of time you idiot!

What I particularly hate are the atavars used professionally. Some prick has fucked up a job, not replied to you phone calls or e-mails and when he finally contacts you through WhatsApp, we find him grinning ecstatically while his Siamese cat licks his horrible face. Meanwhile, the leak he allegedly fixed in your crapper has returned and you are ankle deep in sewage. Fuck you and your cat! Just get down here now and do the job properly you pussy-loving piece of keech! .

BTW, my own WhatsApp avatar shows a family crest that allows me to claim ancestry from some Gaelic clan chief. If I met him now I´d kick him up the arse for the road he subsequently led our Family of mad hatters up.

Nominated by: Mr Polly

Guy Verhofstadt is due another nomination.

Yesterday (Tuesday 4th August) Verhofstadt announced his desire for an EU army. Again. His comments give rise to the lie by the likes Nick Clegg and other remainers during the campaigning for the referendum that the EU was NOT planning to create its own army. He’s also been whingeing that that nasty orange man, Trump is trying to bullying them by withdrawing about 12,000 US troops from Germany and deploying them elsewhere in Europe. This is a blatant lie. Trump isn’t bullying them at all. He’s sick of tired of the US being the biggest financial contributor to NATO, while most EU countries enjoy the freedom and security that the US is providing them. Most EU countries don’t even pay their share. In fact, Greece is the only EU member to pay the full amount it’s supposed to pay. The UK is the second largest contributor.

The other EU countries, especially Germany, flat out refuse to fully pay their dues, presumably because they believe that the EU army will give them an equally powerful alternative. It won’t. In my opinion, Trump is doing exactly the right thing by moving those troops out of Germany, because the Krauts want to have the security of having the world’s most powerful military stationed within its borders, without any obligation to help pay for them. Trump is not bullying them, he’s simply sick of the US funding the protection for EU states that don’t want to contribute. Guy knows that, but as usual, he’s lying through his ugly teeth. He’s a cunt.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

Blasphemy is a cunt, isn’t it.

It’s IAC Gameshow time again with a fun question:

Tahir Achmed Naseem, from Pakistan, was arrested and imprisoned in 2018 after claiming he was a prophet. What recently happened to him:
1.) Sent to gaol for five years for insulting Íslam?
2.) Referred to a mental health specialist then given psychological treatment and therapy?
3.) Shot dead in court during the actual hearing by an angry muslím?

Blasphemy is showing disrespect or lack of reverence for a deity. What is this medieval bollocks? Are we still in the Dark Ages? Wouldn’t prohibiting an “insult” mean prohibiting all manner of enquiry and critique in relation to religion? How convenient. Being offended by everything. England finally abolished this flapdoodle nonsense in 2008 though it’s still on the statute laws of 69 countries, including Scotland.

The answer to the IAC Gameshow is 3. Ironically, the murderer who “smuggled” a gun into the court room will probably receive a less severe sentence than the murdered Naseem would have received. Wow. God is indeed Great.

If people want to believe in talking donkeys, flying horses, whispering snakes, magic tricks, lecturing zombies or similar poppycock that’s fine, but lets not have Sharia-type laws preventing others from criticising or laughing at this gobbledygook.

Nominated by: Captain Magnanimous

Dog owners who don’t tell their dogs to shut the fuck up.

630am Sunday morning….
Been a warm night so kept the bedroom window open to get a through draft to get a better nights sleep than the previous night.
worked a treat till said time above when the two springer spaniels across the road started to bark. And they barked for a solid two hours at every man woman child car tractor rat cat arma-fucking-dillo that walked past their house.

730am got up. Cunts.
1100am decided to walk round village as got some sort of event yard sale going on. Half the amount of sellers all had dogs and when you got anywhere near to look at the tat they were selling yap yap yap yap.
Returned home.

Now in garden enjoying a brew with the missus and guess what the neighbours dog has started to yap away with a gay abandon. its now fifteen minutes and no sign of stopping.
Why can’t these owners tell their little bundle of joy to shut the fuck up. Not once do I hear them try to quieten the fluff on four legs down.
I swear one day I’m going to get medieval on these dogs and the owners.

Thanks cunts for ruining my not so peaceful day off.

Nominated by: Once a cunt always a cunt