Dog Owners

Dog owners who don’t tell their dogs to shut the fuck up.

630am Sunday morning….
Been a warm night so kept the bedroom window open to get a through draft to get a better nights sleep than the previous night.
worked a treat till said time above when the two springer spaniels across the road started to bark. And they barked for a solid two hours at every man woman child car tractor rat cat arma-fucking-dillo that walked past their house.

730am got up. Cunts.
1100am decided to walk round village as got some sort of event yard sale going on. Half the amount of sellers all had dogs and when you got anywhere near to look at the tat they were selling yap yap yap yap.
Returned home.

Now in garden enjoying a brew with the missus and guess what the neighbours dog has started to yap away with a gay abandon. its now fifteen minutes and no sign of stopping.
Why can’t these owners tell their little bundle of joy to shut the fuck up. Not once do I hear them try to quieten the fluff on four legs down.
I swear one day I’m going to get medieval on these dogs and the owners.

Thanks cunts for ruining my not so peaceful day off.

Nominated by: Once a cunt always a cunt

74 thoughts on “Dog Owners

  1. Oh no! A dog debate.

    You might well think I don’t like dogs but I couldn’t possibly comment.

  2. The dogs dont worry me my porto nieghbours are the noisiest fuckers in the fucking world, thank god thier dog got fucked off with noise and fucked off, they just got back after 2 weeks hols and im about to tell them to shut the fuck up….oily cunts

    • This is why I dont care for small breeds of dog yapping all the time.
      Probably bored out of its mind due to not being walked.
      Whats the point of handbag dogs ? trip over them, cant guard your property or family,
      Never shut up barking,
      The human equivalent is John Bercow.

      • Just re read, springer spaniels!
        Full of energy need loads of exercise, bored out of their minds because of lazy owners.

      • All dog leads , and chips should be fitted with motion sensors. If the required quota isn’t met , then the dog is taken off you.
        Letting the dog into the garden to bark for an hour is the height of ignorance. I hurl abuse at my neighbour every night at 10pm.

  3. Not entirely sure on this one, it may well be better as a cunting for cunts that don’t make the effort to train their dogs.
    If you own a dog you should have two or more so that they may keep each other company when your out and not act up out of boredom.
    Well trained dogs bark for a reason, here it’s ne’er do wells scouting out prospective robberies, other unwelcome cunts such as chuggers, botherfolk etcetera or thunder and they can’t help that.
    I’ve long thought rather than license dogs people should be licensed to own them, cunts being disallowed would count for less fuckwittery and fewer deranged dogs.

  4. Same as kids these K9 cunts, if you don’t give them proper training they will turn out cunts.

  5. Usually I’m pro dog, owners who have no consideration for others are of course cunts.

    However the household dogs have been motherfucking mighty cunts this morning waking me at 5:30 thinking they’d like an early breakfast and possibly a stroll. They can fuck off.

    • Record the fuckers on your phone every day. Make sure the time is visible on the recording. Go to your council’s noise abatement officer , and put in complaints. At 5.30am , the law is being broken by disturbing others. Certainly a breach of the peace. Cunts

  6. Only pie-keys and ragheads don’t like dogs!, but then again my neighbours are half a mile away, only inconsiderate plebs have dogs in built up areas, how about having a quieter pet like a Tortoise or an Emu, thankfully don’t have many ragheads in the sticks, and pikeys don’t like “big dhags” (never had white trash in Rhodesia) if you want a dog you should live in a more “upmarket abode” away from any cunt or cuntess which may be near!, I view my Rhodies as better friends than any other cunt, even the good Lady Doweger Quimson!

  7. Since being surrounded by noisy bastards my two dogs will often charge out to the garden bark a couple of times then come in. They are very good and until the noise factor rose would only bark if someone or something was lurking or on the doorstep
    Dogs barking continuously are a bloody pain and I sympathise with noble cunters who have to put up with what is a very annoying background noise. What has worked for me in the past is keeping a log of barking incidents to show the council officer that the problem is real and persistent.

  8. You can always tell a person’s type by the kind of dog they have….yappy people have yappy dogs.

    Dogs do resemble their owners…

    Labrador owner…you’re idle.
    Toy dog owner…’re Gay or a vacuous tart.
    Terrier owner…you’re a nosy,irritating busybody
    Basset-hound owner…you’re ugly
    Alsation…you’re an aggressive type who needs his arse kicked
    British Bulldog owner…you’re a wheezing,drooling.nearly bred-out-of existence anachronism.
    Akita owner…you’re a flasher.

    Feel free to tell me what kind of dog you have and I’ll feel free to tell you just what you are.

    The only good dogs are working dogs and some mongrels.

    PS…I will make an exception for Greyhound owners…I have a soft spot for sight-hounds.

    Fuck Off.

    • Go on then, Mr F, I’ll be first to be subjected…I have a Standard Schnauzer.
      Of course, disclosure of your dog breeds is a necessity…

      • He obviously has a big, super gay moustache, just like his owner. Just thought I’d say it before you!

      • Fuck me, perfect!
        Come on then, what’re your dogs?
        Chihuahua crossed with a Rottweiler?
        Bulldog crossed with a Lurcher?
        Both of those dogs would look hilarious!

      • PS…I hope that your dog is neutered…if it’s anything like you it should be.

      • My own hounds are mongrels with a lot to say,a dislike of most humans and a fondness for shitting on incomers’ doorsteps…..and a love for chasing foxes,of course.

      • Staffy is mine and she has a lurcher and a black lab. I expected landed gentry to have beagles or springers. Is Fiddler Manor a pikey site in reality? Mongrels, do u’s wanna buy a dag?

      • No…gamekeepers have springers and the like for their work…we (vast) landowning types have hounds of indeterminate parentage.

        I do like lurchers…I had a collie/saluki one…fuck me,it could nail the rabbbits.

      • Jolly good!
        You might think I’m exaggerating, but my woofer genuinely has a dislike for peacefuls, especially the letterboxes. He’s very discriminating. Dunno about Um Böngos, there aren’t many of them around my way.
        Do your hounds share their masters view of all-year-tan types?

      • Oh my hounds aren’t racialists,Mr.Cunt-Engine..they’re like me..pretty much dislike anyone and everyone regardless of colour.creed or sexuality.

      • Thomas, my dog makes me look a right liberal!!
        Hates Romanian gyppos and chases them(with owners consent)
        And hates africunts and chases them too!(consent again given).
        Sure theres some sort of sporting event waiting to burgeon there?
        Maybe large dog owners should gather to welcome dinghy sailors in Kent?

      • Damned right; I’d paying fucking top dollar to see an assortment of Mastiffs being set upon dinghy dwellers on Hastings beach, MNC!

    • God Morning Sir Richard,

      Collie and a Red Setter. Both rescues.

      Please give me the full analysis.

      • Difficult one this..collies are clever and red setters bonny…I assume your wife picked them and not you.

        Good on yer for getting rescue dogs.

      • I thought that might get you.
        I chose the collie as he was the only non Staffie in the rescue kennels Mrs. W chose the Red Setter but we have had them for 3 generations.

    • Whippet owner myself.
      Awesome dogs.

      Cunts who don’t like dogs are not to be trusted.

      • Yep, whippets are canny enough little dogs…just a bit delicate for me.

    • “You can always tell a person’s type by the kind of dog they have….yappy people have yappy dogs.”

      An interesting statement Dick. This extends to people like myself who have no dogs at all. I am quiet, unassuming, thoughtful and hate fuckin’ dog owners. I used to hate dogs but over the years I’ve gradually come to the conclusion that the owners are the problem.
      I’ve got a Labrador living next door to me who comes as close to me as any dog that I could like. Then I’ve got the most ugly breed over the road owned by a copper that just barks all day and is shortly to chomp on a piece of poisoned steak.

    • Dick, I have 2 Belgian shepherd malinois, these dogs are very smart , a Belgian malinois dog was used on a mission to capture bin laden, and bin laden got fucked up good and proper, whilst peaceful types are still on planet earth I will have this type of dog, you can’t blame the dog, even they dont like peaceful types

      • Must admit that I’ve never heard of them,Sid….I associate Belgian with Guy Verhofstad, Marc Dutroux and Hercule Poirot,so you can understand my doubts about their dogs.

      • Sir Dick-a police dog handler I know, who works German Shepherds, describes Mallinois as complete fucking psychotic.
        Think Stephen Hawking crossed with Rambo.
        Great dogs, fancy a couple myself👍👍👍

      • Might have a closer look at the fuckers myself,CG….can’t be long now until the barbarians are hammering on my gates accusing me of being “nasty”..these belgian dogs might tip the balance in mine and the hounds’ favour when the unpleasantness starts.

      • You can go wrong with Belgian shepherd malinois, the last fucker was told that he spilt its pint..still having its arse hole stitched 8

    • I once owned a springer, but got rid of it asap, as it was thicker than pigshit and uncommandable. The rest were all mongrels containing variable proportionss of Lab, collie, other…dogless at the moment.

      • I’ve only once had a pedigree dog…a labrador. I called him Tyson because he was a black Cunt with a foul temper who wouldn’t take “No” as an answer from da bitches.
        I should have known better than to buy a dog during a session in the Pub off a fella who rejoiced in the name of “Wobbly Bob”. The dog didn’t last long…had something wrong with his shoulders..I suspect that he’d been bred a bit “close to home”

        Nice to see you back K…I was getting a bit worried about you when even a nomination for Mr.Blair didn’t winkle you out.

      • Hideous coincidence there, Dick. Was given my last mutt by someone in the pub one of whose mates was also called Wobbly Bob. The product of many generations of semiferal West Highland pi-dogs, she was the best I’ve had, r.i.p.

        Prolonged absence due to not wishing to further depress myself with ISAC’s daily surfeit of melancholy truth, while on furlough. Partially returned to work and mood has lifted a bit. Nice of you to care.

        And Blair? Plus ca change, plus il est le meme cunt. Continue with Google Translate if necessary to discover the latest black arse targeted by the Blair tongue…

  9. I’m sorry but the association of a dog’s breed with the social characteristics of it’s owner is quite clearly raaaaaaaaay-sist.
    I am offended.

  10. It’s cunts who pointlessly shout at their yapping little cunt that just adds their cunt shouting to the cacophony of noise that piss me off. Take the fucking dog in the house you selfish pieces of shit, you wanted the annoying fucking thing, not every fucker in half a mile of you. Pricks.

    • Off Topic
      Russell Howard was doing a show in Bristol last night,
      The unfunny yokel of comedy noticed a woman filming him and had a hissy fit!😜
      He carried on a few minutes before saying to the woman “youve ruined it now!”
      Before flouncing off!!😁
      Glad my working days not as beastly as poor Russells!
      Ducky darling…

      • I’ll bet he’s into some right filthy h0mo shenanigans, MNC. Sanctimonious little fruit.

      • Anyone who shows mardness like him deserve all they get Thomas, id of bounced a pint pot off his nut as he was flouncing off!😁

  11. Don’t forget the cunts who say “don’t worry, he/she’s friendly” as the dog growls at you. And who refuse to pick up their dog’s shit – if I were in power I’d introduce a minimum ten year jail term for that one. Oh, and the inconsiderate wankers who take up the whole pavement and force you into the road by walking three, four or 5 dogs at a time.

  12. I’m plagued with yapping bastards and their inconsiderate owners. Then I got wind of this video which plays ultrasound for 8 hours. Or so it claims as you can’t hear anything.

    It works through a PC and stops the little bastards after about 3 mins, even those gits about 100 yards away.
    Apparently it doesn’t work on ipads or phones, but pcs and laptops with speakers on max work fine.
    Unfortunately it doesn’t work on screaming brats

  13. I hate dogs.I hate cats.I am not an animal lover.A waste of time and money.I don’t give a shit.Let them loose on the beaches where the brown rats are.They will soon paddle back to France

  14. Far too many cunts own dogs who don’t know how to train them.

    Hard to respect the owners anyway, fondling their dogs steaming chuds with plastic bags. Or just letting it hide like a landmine among the grass.

    Unless you have a proper guard dog or sheep dog, you’re a cunt owner in my estimation.

  15. I like dogs, but living in two cities I don’t have the time to commit to looking after a dog as it wouldn’t be fair on the dog.
    What with the pimping, and county lines operations…I am extremely busy. 😁
    I love Alsatian dogs and when I get my country house in 10 years I’ll get a mostly black one and maybe call it cunt.
    “Where are you cunt”, “c’mon cunt”, “Get him cunt”, “well done cunt”…it will be a good basis for a friendly chat with another dog owner.
    I’ll teach him to bite cunts as well and in 10 years time black dogs will get a pass the way shite is going.
    Go fuck yourselves.

  16. It does seem to be the little ‘pedigree’ dogs that yap and act like cunts…not far from me there is a shop ran by a couple of gays who look after dogs and groom etc. Some of the dogs they have there are a disgrace…all trimmed like they are going to Crufts.
    Then the gays take them walking, what a pile of cunt.
    When I get my dog I’ll train him to eat these pansy dogs for breakfast.

  17. I have two Working Cockers, one from a puppy and the other is adopted. Both bark if they hear someone come along. As we’re out in the boonies, I don’t mind. I do have to manage them with the post man, a simpleton; they just don’t like him! They seem to love everyone else.

    The adopted one barks like a lunatic when excited, for food, walkies etc. I’m not surprised, he was fed kibble which gave him Chernobyl-like flatulence and got 15 minutes of exercise a day with his previous guardians. His life now consists of a natural, real food diet and now he has zero wind, long walks and plenty of time outside in the garden with me. As he was completely unsocialised he turned out to be a bugger on walks, going mental at other dogs – still working on that but progress has been made. His owners did no training at all with him apart from sit and he was shut up in their house all day. The reason they got rid of him was because ‘he is messing up my place’. When I got him he had muscle atrophy. He came from an ignorant family with a postage stamp garden.

    Quite simply dogs should not be left outside alone for any extended period. They should be by your side and/or given a job to do, even if that is lying down being quiet. And they need exercise, some, like mine, for hours everyday, others not so much. As for the barking at passers by, this can be trained out dogs, eventually. In the meantime, you get your dog to go inside and stop being an inconsiderate cunt if you have neighbours.

    Perhaps I’d rather have the noise of barking dogs than hearing people yelling abuse at each other or the noise of people doing DIY, but all noise becomes unbearable after a while. After years of living in the London suburbs, I couldn’t take it anymore and left.

    • Amen to that Bellemy absolutely bob on…..dogs bark when there owners aren’t worth listening to or don’t provide them with there basic needs, same as kids. When their feral and beyond training do everyone a favour and put the fuckers down humanely of course

    • P.s. i don’t have a dog or dogs. I need to look after myself first. Once I get that sorted I might.

  18. I have two ridgebacks – they are huge mutant things, feral and hate gyppos and the darkened types but if some kid is pulling their ears etc (or riding them, which they like!) they just put up with it. They know that postmen, delivery drivers etc are fine but anyone on my property when they should not be will be dead – they do not have a few bites and stop like a normal dog, they are like pit bulls and just carry on.
    My ex had a springer spaniel, imported from Ireland, absolutely enormous and beautiful (I do miss that hound, not the owner though) – he cost a grand and has a pedigree like war and peace, used as a gun dog instead of a flushing/bird dog as he was trained for and mercilessly beaten, starved and tortured by a “Man” I would like to meet very much – he had been kicked so hard repeatedly in the balls he had to have his testicles removed and was so underweight he was on the point of starvation. I would enjoy hurting that gamekeeper so much. He is sound now but never barks, he is too afraid as it got him battered.
    And he never listened to a word she said, which I found so funny – Karen girl screaming orders at him and he would just bungle around completely ignoring her 😄😄 – after I got bored of her chainsaw voice I would shout BEN! and over he would gallop (I am one of only two Men in the World he trusts and he knew that when he came back he would get a fuss and a stroke not a good hiding or cracked with a stick). Dogs are fine, it’s just that some owners are lazy irresponsible idiots.

    • A happy ending for Ben dog.
      Like you Vern, I would take great pleasure in using the gamekeeper who abused him as a punch bag👍

      Captain Q-as a Sarf-Africunt, can you assist me with the spelling of cunt in your lingo, sapuse? Make a great name for B&W Cunts German Shepherd👍

    • Ridge backs are majestic hounds Spoonington. Once you’re the alpha of their pack they will protect you to the end of time.
      I don’t have space or time to devote to a ridgey, but so wish I had.

  19. What is the saying?
    In life, I hope to be worthy of my dog???
    In reality, most dog owners are not fit for purpose, they don’t understand that taking on a dog is a commitment to devote time, money and love for up to 15 years, that a dog needs just as much attention as a child.
    Around here, I see countless vans advertising dog walking services for rich, lazy bastards who are total narcissistic arseholes who thing owning a dog is donning a flat cap and walking it on a Sunday morning.

  20. Admin and fellow members, in the nomination picture, I wonder is the dog telling the owners to shut up arguing about something trivial? Some celebri-can-of-can’t? What the latest fad is and wondering if doing it will get lots of ‘likes’ on Facebook? Stuck between what colour to paint the sitting room walls – pastel blue or minted pea soup green?

  21. At least this cunting isn’t anywhere near as controversial as the one on dogs that I did last January.

    • I wouldn’t speak too soon…Mr. Bamboo has yet to appear over the horizon.

  22. Spent some time with a contractor’s dachshund last week while inspecting a fencing job. Silent, proud, obedient, curious, active, in and out of the Hilux, and off to track rabbits or whatever. Great temperament on that little dog. And runs surprisingly fast!

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