Loyalty Means JackShit.

I’m sure we’ve all witnessed it: you signed up to a broadband provider, or cable TV provider etc. 5 or 10 years ago, and you’ve been paying the full subscription fee ever since.

Then you notice the latest adverts from these cunts offering decent discounts for new customers, while completely ignoring the loyal cunts who, to them, are just old cow fodder not deserving of anything other than yet another price rise in their subs!

Sky, Virgin Media and BT, are just a handful of cunts I used to subscribe too for years on end, only to see them give big 10-20% discounts for noobs to sign up to. And more often than not a month or two later I would get an email or letter from these bastards saying that my annual sub will be going up by 10%, probably to make up the shortfall on the new customer discounts.

At least with supermarkets they do offer some form of loyalty reward, as relatively trivial as it is. But with these telecoms bastards loyalty means sweet fuck all until such time you want to cancel your sub, and they go into panic mode by putting you through to their “Retentions Team”, whereby you can almost name your own price in order to stay with them!

Nominated by: Technocunt

Local lockdowns are cunts, or more specifically the people that cause them.

I live in one of the areas recently highlighted where infection rates are on the rise. It’s no surprise to me that all of these areas have a large proportion of a particular demographic of people living within them. I’m sure you can guess I’m referring to a peaceful community, who delight in regular gatherings with bare feet. Now I’m not about to say this is all their fault, but there’s no coincidence that all the areas affected have higher than average Asian populations.

Just as with most issues; crime, sexual abuse, paedophilia, poverty. These communities don’t believe that it’s their problem, but it fucking well is! These communities need to learn that if they continue to ignore hygiene and social distancing advice, more of them will die. Not only that but they’re putting every other cunt at risk too. I hope the government does undertake an in depth review as to why the virus seems to affect more BAME communities than white. They’ll no doubt obfuscate the real reason though and no doubt blame white people for touching more than one bag of chicken dippers whilst in the supermarket.

Nominated by: elcuntio

Right, I would like to cunt Newcastle United fans. Yesterday (30th July) it was announced that the proposed takeover of the club by a Saudi consortium was off. How do Newcastle fans react? By saying that ‘the club is dead”, they’re ‘crying their eyes out” and other such nonsensical rhetoric. Yeah, because there totally aren’t clubs like Bury, Hull, Bolton, Wigan, Macclesfield, Oldham and Southend who are in a far worse position than they are. For as big a cunt as Mike Ashley is he has brought them a degree of financial stability and there are far worse owners than him out there, and the reaction of Newcastle fans to the takeover news has demonstrated just how deluded and lacking in self awareness they are in regards to that fact.

Nominated by: General Tso’s Chiggun

Woke gamers, and those who pretend to be gamers are cunts.

I’m not a gamer myself, but I’ve been following a couple of stories on some YouTube channels that I’m subscribed to and I find them simultaneously hilarious and pathetic.

About three weeks ago, a post apocalyptic game called The Last of Us 2 was released after a fuck ton of controversy. The game was made for Sony by a company Naughty Dog. The chief designer, Neil Druckman is a woke as fuck soy boy, who took what was apparently a very popular game, killed it by making it woke and then raped the corpse.

The biggest issue that fans had, was that a much loved main character was beaten to death with a golf club, by some fucking creature called Abby that is either female or trans (jury’s still out on that), and jacked up on some serious steroids. Seriously, Arnie would be jealous of the thing’s physique. To make it worse, gamers then had to play a large portion of the game as the killer. To be fair, the game did break sales records when it was initially released (cue much gloating and celebration from the Wokewaffe), but it’s not doing so well now.

Then last week (it’s July 25th now) a game called Ghosts of Tsushima was released. It’s set in feudal Japan and by all accounts, it’s brilliant. Things were fine, until it was announced that the game’s sales had surpassed the Wokewaffe favourite and that the Japanese themselves love it and, predictably, the Wokewaffe went into meltdown.

Apparently, despite the fact the Japanese have no problem with it, the game is cultural appropriation because it was made in the US, by white people. The Japanese themselves do not escape the demented ire of the Wokewaffe, who are busy pointing out the Japanese are evil because they spent the first half of the 20th Century engaged in colonialism and being nasty.

Oh yes, and American gamers who are of oriental descent are whining that non-Japanese people are putting more stock in the opinion of actual Japanese people of a Japan based game over their own opinion. Yes, and?

Inevitably, the game is now being review bombed online, with people adding a 10/10 review for The Last of Us 2, but scores of 0/10 and 2/10 for Ghosts of Tsushima, with no reviews for other games. Hmm, nothing suspicious there. Would you like a dummy while you type your reviews? Maybe you should ask mummy to change your nappy.

Seriously, these people are fucking pathetic. Getting all upset because a non-woke game is outselling a very woke game. That’s life motherfuckers. Fucking childish cunts.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

Uh ?

If you misheard what I said, weren’t bothered to listen properly, or simply lack the mental capacity to formulate a coherent response without the need for some extended ‘thinking space’, then the phrase you are looking for is:

“Pardon ?”
“I beg your pardon ?”
“I humbly crave your forgiveness, Sir”

Not “Uh ?”. You ignorant, cloth-eared, neanderthal cunt.

Nominated by: Cunt Reviled