Author Archives: A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Mark Zuckerburg

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Mark Zuckerberg.

Quite possible the biggest cunt on the planet and a woefully under-represented cunt on this website. Let me try and reddress that balance.

It takes a special kind of cunt to go from universally loved to universally loathed by the internet tech fraternity at large; but synthetic-faced scumcunt Mark Zuckerberg has managed it, and then some.

Everyday activities for this cunt include spying on people, exercising blatant left-wing bias towards political users, ‘shadowprofiling’ non-users (i.e. building up a profile of non-FB people based on the frequency their phone numbers appear on accessed contacts list of actual FB users), giving a free pass to Islamic terrorists and behading videos, wanking over users’ photos (probably) and losing his company billions in stock value. You know, the usual tech-giant overlord fare.

Such is the cuntitude of both Zuckerberg and FaceBook that even its very own co-founder, Chris Hughes, has gone on record this week saying that FaceBook (and ergo Zuckerberg) are disproportionately powerful in the modern age and need to be broken up. The co-founder said that. Holy fucking dogshit.

Only this week we were reminded of Zuckerberg’s dream for FaceBook to launch a new online currency, to rival Bitcoin and the like. I mean, what could possibly go wrong with a website which spies on its users, assigns them a virtual credit score based on their online activity and shuts down legitimate contrary opinions holding your online savings?

So lets get up close and personal to this fucking autistic gobshite – the man resembles a synthetic lifeform from some Brian Yuzna late-eighties body-schlock horror. Every time I look at Zuckerberg, I’m reminded of the scene in Ridley Scott’s ‘Alien’, where the android, Ash, is just about to go fucking mental and the panning camera reveals that momentary rolled-eyes, vacant, mad expression. So too does Zuckerberg perenially look like he is about to malfunction; as he sips water during congressional hearings with all the grace and elan of an unspeakably abused shop-soiled mannequin.

A behemoth of a cunt responsible for much of the world’s ills related to smartphones, vanity, mental insecurity and the reduction of our youth to superficial gibbering simpletons. This cunt should ideally be stripped of his fortune and banished back to the semen-encrusted college dorm from whence he came.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

Maxine Peake

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Maxine Peake is a cunt.
Can often be heard on the radio pushing the governments agenda of fitting smart meters to our homes.I don’t want my energy usage to be spied on so that the companies can profile our usage and then bung up the price when we use it the most.
Stick to your day job of acting and stop taking the 30 pieces of silver for doing the governments dirty work.

Gobshite!

Nominated by Crusty Flaps

 

 

Benjamin Zephania

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Modern poetry as exemplified by Benjamin Zephania is a cunt. I was never into poetry much, mostly a lah-di-dah bunch of daffodils, but every now and again a poem could grab me as being very good, moving even.
The same cannot be said for the putrid stream of steaming shit (see what I just did?) which is now lauded as poetry. Zephania is even being touted as the next Poet Laureate. The following is a sample of his ‘work’.

‘Be nice to yu turkeys dis christmas
Cos’ turkeys just wanna hav fun Turkeys are cool, turkeys are wicked
An every turkey has a Mum.’

From ‘Talking Turkeys’.

Fucking God in Heaven. I was probably five or six when I came out with something similar. And I was able to put an e on have. What next? Astronomer Royal announces ‘big shiny yellow ting up in sky’?
Is this what we have come to? I would love to say cunt but I’m beyond swearing with this, I’m just sad.

Nominated by Zippy

Sargon of Akkad, aka Carl Benjamin

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Sargon of Akkad, aka Carl Benjamin, Youtube personality and UKIP MEP candidate, is a cunt.

This is one of those instances where I find myself nominating someone who I hold some affinity or respect for. I follow this guy on YouTube and have done for a few years.

Benjamin is currently an MEP candidate for UKIP in the SouthWest, and is making tabloid headlines right now for his ‘rape’ tweet made three years ago to major cunt Jess Phillips. In context, Benjamin at the time stated to Phillips that ‘I wouldn’t even rape you’, as an edgy joke response to Phillips’ claim she got rape threats on a frequent basis. This comment has recently been dug up by the media, both to denounce UKIP and, where applicable, to give positive traction to Labour.

That tweet itself, to me, is not particularly outrageously offensive, especially in context. Rape jokes are, or were, common with mainstream comedians. And a word must go to the conniving cunt Jess Phillips who at the time, did not express any notable concern at the comment but three years later revealed how it left her “crying in the street”.

However, Benjamin has really fucked up on the following:

  • Going for the media red-blooded by calling them names at a UKIP press conference
  • Acting fairly fucking smug and arrogant in interview
  • Unbelievably, he stated a few weeks ago that he ‘might’ rape Jess Phillips to ‘test how the media would react’
  • Causing his YouTube channel de-monetised, linked to the above no doubt, meaning he no longer gets revenue for his content which he himself has said is relied upon to support his family
  • Almost single-handedly torpedoing any possible UKIP resurgence.

The whole debacle has shown why people popular on YouTube rarely translate well in the more conventional forms of media. What works in an online format for his type of audience will only ever translate badly in interviews or press coverage. He has gone about his campaign like a flailing autist and just deliberately antagonised the media into hounding him. I’m not saying he should pander to the media at all but there’s always got to be an element of forethought, especially considering the media influence during elections.

I wanted UKIP to get back to where they were in 2015 as a viable alternative party, one with policies and more grounding than The Brexit Party and one which millions of disillusioned voters could gravitate towards over the whole Brexit issue. Sadly, UKIP seem to be the same shambles as they were when Steven Wolfe was photographed spark-out on the floor with his briefcase.

I agree with Benjamin on much – the damage from feminism, millennial stupidity, the lunacy around diversity, immigration, the EU – but it was a grave mistake for Gerard Batten to blindly believe that Benjamin’s online presence alone would bolster UKIP as an MEP candidate. The cunt should never have been allowed to appear outside of his YouTube channel.

So with heavy heart, Sargon of Akkad – you are something of a cunt, my son.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

The Needy

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The Needy are an annoying shower of cunts. Allow me to elaborate.

I’m not referring to the starving-as-fuck, 2lb, Malteaser sand children on the adverts, the begging winos, or the food bank-frequenting pov’s (poverty stricken citizen). I’m on about your mate, your relative, your workmate, your house / flatmate – that fucking Negative Nancy that sucks the life and enjoyment out of you with their tales of woes, aliments, partner troubles and family issues.
What’s more annoying, even more so than having to deliberately avoid talking to these people, is that they use their issue(s) as an attention-seeking tool on social media platforms and in real social situations, praying on the unsuspecting listener in the hope that they will receive sympathy, a warm hug and a box of tissues. Fuck off.

I know an individual who was diagnosed with a form of cancer. Granted, not very nice. However, that cancer was deemed mild and done away with swiftly and effectively. Annual checks are always given the all-clear.
But for last fuck knows how many years, this person has been using this ordeal as a kind of “survivor against the odds” million-to-one, chance of survival journey, it’s utter bullshit, and it’s insulting to people who are really suffering and have little hope of surviving.

Don’t feel compelled to stay connected to people like this out of guilt, your so-called bloodline, or the fear of being uncomfortable when you unfortunately to bump into them, fuck ’em, they’re an inconvenience. A genital wart is an inconvenience. If it’s going to irritate you for life, cut it off.

Nominated by Lord Cuntony