Now, I’ve never liked dancing, going right back to when I was a youth. It’s not because I’m self-conscious or anything like that and quite likely it’s partly because I’m crap at it. I’d have a go at it but I found I could always rely on my natural good looks and athleticism to attract the ladies. Some men down the years have seen dancing as a way of walking off with a pretty lady and that’s fine. I’ve always found real men can’t dance, don’t need to dance and won’t dance even with a red hot poker up their arse. Anyone who’s ‘good’ at it I’ve usually found to be a rake or a gigolo.

However, there is absolutely no fuckin way I’d even go near one of these barns to join in the phenomenon they call line dancing. What the fuck do these people think they look like? A place for pulling women? Christ, anyone remotely looking like a man would only be on the dance floor for a minute before they’d have a 70 year old granny hanging round their neck proposing to them. It’s a place designed for ugly old hags where they can actually ask a man for a dance. It might be ok for Wayne Rooney but not any self respecting men.

Then turn to the way these people are dressed. The obligatory checked shirt, the cowboy hat and the belt – don’t forget the belt because this is essential to hang your hands on. I’ve come across some cowboys in my time but none to beat these ridiculous looking cunts. And before anyone says ‘it’s great fun’ – fuck off. It’s as much fun as a hog roast in the grounds of the local mosque. It’s amazing how many of these barns due to hold these events mysteriously burn down the night before. Line dancing is for cunts.

Nominated by Bluntspeakingcunt

A concise cunting for the London Borough of Islington (where else?) I needn’t elaborate on the statement below:

The mayor who wears a hijab

Cllr Rakhia Ismail, the UK’s first Somali-born female mayor and is thought to be the first mayor to wear a hijab.

Cllr Ismail was chosen as the new mayor for Islington, north London – a mostly ceremonial role – on 16 May.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Islington, the home of Corbyn, Flabbott et alia.

Just to prove that the Labour Party can’t sink any lower, Islington, the home of the bearded messiah himself, voted against him.

Maybe the cunts ain’t such cunts after all, but I ain’t putting money on it. They voted for fucking Cable…

Nominated by Dioclese

Id like to nominate 80s-obsessed hipsters.
Most of these cunts werent alive in the eighties and although they claim to love 80s pop culture, they only experience it as re-packaged via modern fare such as Stranger Things, Family Guy, Ready Player One or those tiresome geek-pleasing references in films made by pasticheurs such as J.J. Abrams.

They can be found wearing T-Shirts with ‘geek’ in the typeface ofthe Atari logo or telling everyone how Ferris Bueller is the best teen movie ever made. They’ve never seen it but some mediocre Hollywood TV writer on Twitter said so.

As a child of the eighties, i can say quite objectively that 90% of eighties pop culture was utter crap. All of this stuff that has been fetished by gimp creatives of my generation who never grew up is embarrassing. Also, if they give you a blank stare at the mention of the Mysterious Cities of Gold, you can openly laugh at their pretensions and shit on their vintage Nintendo.

Fuck off and get your own childhood, you daft cunts.

Nominated by Cuntamus Prime

A nomination for Wolf Alice. No, I’d never heard of these cunts either until this morning, when they called for a boycott of the Eurovision contest. Can’t remember them calling for a boycott when it was held in Turkey and also in Russia some years ago. So, no prizes for guessing what motivates them.
Anyway, shove your sanctimonious virtue signalling up your collective backsides.
Israel will still be there, long after you’ve been forgotten.

Nominated by Mystic Maven

David Lammy is a cunt, isn’t he.

Let’s talk about deportation, shall we. If you’re a foreign national and you commit a crime, you can be deported if the sentence is more than 12 months. It’s the same in most countries.

Chevon Brown, who was recently deported back to Jamaica, says that he “doesn’t feel safe” there. In the past fourteen months, five deportees to Jamaica have been killed. Well, might I suggest that you should’ve thought about that earlier. It’s a deterrent. Enter Lammy stage left, speciously tweeting:-

“Press pause on Deportation to Jamaica.”

Hmm. And do what?

➖ Keep them in prison at a staggeringly giddy cost to the tax-payer (prison rent/food/free education) – £45,000 per annum for men (double for women), and therefore allow the possibility that foreign national criminals could stay in the UK?

➖ Release them letting them evade justice and punishment?

➖ What about other criminals due to be deported to their home countries? No special treatment for them? No, fuck the rest of them, I suppose, they’re not black and who cares, not your people, might be white, fuck ’em, eh? Therefore only give preferential treatment to a certain section of criminal.

David Lammy: Expenses binger, democracy denier, racist bigot, Justice fuckwit.

“Press pause” on breathing.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous