A bit sexist to start, but we will be the bigger person here..

Six awards, not all bad.
But three jumped out..
A couple of dàrkies who are campaigning about maternal health.

Apparently black women are 5 times more likely to die during pregnancy and childbirth than white women. “Bloody racist “. They have got that number down to 4 times now..
Probably at the expense of white women..

Next some posh bint campaigning for healthier prison food..
Studies have shown if you feed prisoners with steak and lobster every meal, apparently it reduces the risk of re-offending..

Fucking bread and water and a good kicking would be all they would get, if I had my way..

And finally some Syrian who lives here now, campaigning to keep girls in school in Syria..
Fuck knows how that works, other than throwing money at it.
Or bringing more third world people here.

Didn’t see any dinner ladies or lollipop ladies in the list..
Probably don’t tick enough boxes..
Well enjoy your moment in the sun ladies.
Your soon be forgotten..

Daily Fail

Nominated by Barry zuckercunt.

OK when I commenced my misspent youth dodging up old motors (first was a ’55 Bentley S1 since you ask) and trying to control my hormones and my rampant old man the tools of choice were the King Dick range. Classic British Brum made and very expensive and the lead in to many Carry On type jokes. They even make podgers (look it up) hence my choice of title for this post.

The podger in question belongs to sad cunt Matt Barr, a short fat geezer with a short name and an enormous 12 inch poker. Sad because he does not get to do much poking. In short fillies do not like it, they run a mile on sight. Reputed to be the biggest cock in Blighty – unless Cunters know otherwise. Cunters send your dickpicks to Admin for verification but do remember she frightens easily.

Mr Barr tends to get treated as a Freak Show and naughty fillies try to trick him on to TV Reality Shows and exploit him in a non-pleasurable Elephant Man fashion. I had a mate with an enormous plonker and he made a fair few pornos which as any Cunter who has appeared in one (Thomas the Tank Engine?) will confirm are bloody boring to be in, usually with a load of jaded lezzers and frantic studs who can’t get it up on time for the 20th take on camera (Christ call the stand in!). Good money while the stiffy lasts.

Problem with an exaggerated appendage is one tends to wear ones underpants out from the inside. That and the social embarrassment if you take my meaning. “Is that a Magnum in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?” The Dirty Harry variety that is, not the overpriced and shrinkflating ice cream on a stick.

Dring! Dring! – Mr Barr a call for you from Larry Flynt and Bang Bros Productions.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-13339927/Man-Britains-largest-penis-reveals-downsides-getting-thrown-yoga-assumed-aroused-used-date-wanted-OnlyFans.html

kingdicktools

onlyfans

Nominated by Sir Limpy Stroke.

1/2 — Fucking Around With Chocolate Bar Flavours (Flavors, US)

I love Daim bars, me.

But the other day I was offered a `limited edition, Orange` Daim …
DiscountDragon

Of course, it was utterly disgusting, as expected.
Why do they do this?
After a few weeks it will be gone.
You would think they would learn by their mistakes – they`ve tried many a different flavour over the years, but none have even come close to matching the majesty of the original brittle almond-sharded original encased within its reasonably generous chocolate carapace.
Fucking pointless.

Is nothing sacred? The thoughtless cunts`ll be bringing out Strawberry fucking Aeros next. Oh, they just have …

The Sun

Perhaps YOU can think of a bar of gorgeousness which they`ve ruined and share your disgust for it with us?

*******

2/2 — Discontinuing Chocolate Bars

I used to love Topics, me.

But guess what, a short while back they stopped making them – no fucking explanation …

The Sun

Fucking twats.
Now I have to hand-craft an approximation to them from scratch by simultaneously shovelling raw hazelnuts and Milky Ways into my gob whilst masticating furiously to combine the ingredients `in ore meo`.

When will this lunacy end?

Perhaps YOU can think of a much-missed now deceased bar of gorgeousness and share your disgust and longing with us?

Nominated by: Sam Beau

Erik Ten Hag is a whopping great cunt!

The Manchester United manager has – as usual – refused to accept any blame or admit that anything is wrong.

He has said that the negative reaction to United’s narrow win against Coventry City in the FA Cup semi final as “embarrassing” and “a disgrace”,

Wrong, you hills have eyes cunt. Manchester United throwing away a three goal lead against a Division 2 side in an FA Cup semi final is what is embarrassing and a disgrace. Coventry have nothing to be ashamed of, they played their bollocks off. But United were and are a laughing stock.

In all my time as match going red, I have never seen such a spineless, lazy, heap of shite.

Brian Greenhoff (RIP) said in 1980 about Dave Sexton ‘This man is not fit to manage Manchester United.’

He was right. But God knows what he would think of this current cunt.
Ten Hag makes Sexton look like Cesar Luis Menotti.

And all I have left to say is this…
Fuck off Nostferatu.

BBC News

Nominated by: Norman

(Unrelated pic to the article, but get the gist – Day Admin)

I found myself losing the direction of my moral compass when I read about the 23 year old teaching assistant convicted of having a bit of how’s your father with a 14 year old student.

Based on the pictures in the article below I was prepared to maintain my condemnation of the carpet kissing groomers at the same time as reckoning that 14 year old me would have been quite chuffed with a Mrs Robinson pouncing on me as depicted in this article:

GBNews

However, my natural curiosity took over, and a little more digging revealed the unvarnished truth:

The Sun

A good deal of scrubbing with bleach later I still feel conned and defiled – do I have a case against her, can I get compensation?

Nominated by: Balsamic Dave