I discovered these words in the top left hand corner whilst struggling to open a box of Ty.Phoo teabags. Highlighted in a bright yellow against the predominantly red and white background, so you were absolutely certain to see it.
Two questions.
How do you improve something that’s new?
Who the fuck falls for this shit?
” The phrase “new and improved” is a classic marketing slogan meant to trigger fast, emotional thinking and signal innovation. In reality, it often means an existing product has a minor tweak, a packaging redesign, or simply needs a psychological refresh to capture attention in a crowded market, rather than representing a revolutionary change.Why Marketers Use ItInstant Appeal: It uses positive phrasing to make buyers feel they are getting a superior, updated choice.Re-engagement: It wakes up consumers who have grown blind or indifferent to older product labels.Justifying Changes: It is frequently applied when formulas, sizes, or designs change—sometimes even when package sizes shrink while prices stay the same.”
I don’t have a link, as such, but this is copied from Google question”what does new and improved mean”
I find the end of the explanation very enlightening, especially with regards to confectionery that is marketed as “snack size” .
As opposed to what? Three-course dinner size?
New and improved teabags, FFS.
Ty.Phoo are cunts.
Nominated by Jeezum Priest.
The first advert on UK TV was for Gibbs toothpaste back in the 1950’s.
Toothpastes have been regularly improved and marketed as new ever since.
So Gibbs, going back about 70 years must have been like brushing your teeth with dog shit.
There is an ad running for an electric toothbrush which assures us that it was ‘inspired by dentists’.
What the fuck does that mean?
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Advertisers take consumers to be weak minded and easily influenced idiots. Overpriced pillows and mattresses advertised as using ‘NASA technology’. I usually lie down for a sleep, not to visit the far side of the moon.
Fuck off Saatchi and Saatchi and Deimos and Phobos.
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That’s like Estate Agents advertising a house as ‘architect designed’.
And there was me thinking houses were designed by florists.
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Bill and Ben The Flowerpot Men’s house was.
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Marketing. Disingenuous. Catches-out the lesser thinking.
Look at the phrasing in the genuine blurb ‘The no.1 brand recommended by dentists’
It makes folk think it is these unnamed dentists #1 pick of all the electric toothbrushes nationwide, and the majority OF dentists at face value ..but in reality any company can make the broad claim ‘no.1 brand’ based on fuck-all, .. and the claim above only requires 2 dentists on the books, to be legally ‘true’. Just 2.
The even more vague one on dog food tins annoys me(because we live in a society that LETS it be passable).
‘vet approved’.
That only requires one fucking vet when you think about it.
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This is gold on the matter ..
Mitchell & Webb “Toothbrush manufacturers annual meeting”
Top satire.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NwmwB-biQpc&pp=ygUnTWl0Y2hlbGwgYW5kIHdlYmIgdG9vdGhicnVzaCB0b290aHBhc3Rl
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Reading the small print at the bottom of the screen (if you can be bothered) is enlightening too.
One yoghurt company advertised that one portion of their stuff contained as much calcium as a glass of milk.
The small print told you that one portion was equal to 2 pots of yoghurt and the glass in question was 50ml.
So the message should have been that one pot equals the same amount of calcium as a teaspoon of milk.
You simply can’t buy a glass that small.
It makes you wonder what size of glass Cadburys are using when a glass and a half of milk goes into one of their bars of chocolate.
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I’m amazed that Cadburys are still using that ” glass and a half ” hook in their adverts, considering how shite their chocolate tastes these days.
Still, perhaps it’s fermented yak milk.
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Maybe If it was anal, instead of oral, you would end up with a Colgate Ring of Confidence perhaps?
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I’ll stick with Irn Bru 1901, even says “old and unimproved” on the can.
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The Coca Cola Company “improved ” their original brand by replacing the cocaine with caffeine, the cheeky rotten cunts!
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And OMO was racist because it made whites look briter & whiter.
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Quite.
Mind you,given the state of many supermarket shoppers the manufacturers could print on their packaging in bright yellow ” carelessly made in an unwashed pakis hovel for your convenience ” and it would fly off the shelves.
The mouth breathing shuffling cunts.
Bog standard Oven.
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Sorry JP, I have the brilliant image of you in your eternal struggle against opening the box of Typhoo tea bags. My old dear is eighty one so I do sympathise.
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& trying to avoid cutting his fingers on those “New & Improved edges” no doubt!
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You’re not kidding, Lord S.
I’m having to use scissors or paring knives to open almost any kind of sealed packaging these days.
It’s a right cunt when wanting a biscuit with your cup of tea becomes practically a surgical procedure.
The amount of almost impenetrable packaging these days, it’s small wonder old people die of malnutrition. It’s not lack of money to buy food, it’s the fucking ring pull tins and plastic shrink-wrap that stops them getting to it!
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And if you do need to grab some Elastoplasts J.P. then you could well bleed to death before you have even opened them.
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And knives now come in a strong transparrent plastic cover, that needs another sharp knife to open it.
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Don’t bother watching adverts and don’t believe anything I’m told. Intuition has got me bye so far.
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Pubs & restaurants with that all familiar ‘Under New Management’ sign on the outside wall is another good catch, usually without any gramme of improvement.
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Old and improved…the UK back in the 50’s 👍
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Not so I’m afraid.
This country was in ruins in the 50s. the great imperial and economic power reduced to bankruptcy, rationed food, a socialist economy, and giving away its empire through choice. Being bossed by its “friend” and “special relationship”, the US. A useless, self serving alcoholic as PM (again). The charter of managed decline implemented for us mugs of the future, who would have to live through it later.
The only thing that was good about the 50s is that we were still a white ethno state. We are scarcely even a country now and the 50s heralded this grim reality.
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I’m getting my medication delivered today from Boots and I got a phone call earlier asking if I didn’t mind what flavours my Fortisip drinks came in. I replied with, I didn’t mind if they were ladies urine, so long as they came. There was a shriek of laughter and she told me they were on there way.
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Just wait till the archive Boggs Pornographic Film Productions (Taiwan) Limited back catalogue is remastered and available on Blu-Ray – a chance to see every pimple on the backside of a the young Emily Thornberry, back in 1970, as she drops the lot in a performance at the Steaming Pussycat Club, in sepia a very young Yvette Cooper losing her gym slip (and everything else) during a nudie romp. That really will be new and improved.
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I love the tricky and meaningless marketing boast ‘up to 99 per cent of household germs’. So that could be fucking 1 percent, cunts. ‘Closing Down’ sales round our way go on for decades. They also offer savings of ‘up to 50 percent off’!
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Mrs Starmer always used to use that lavatory cleanser that killed 99% of all known germs. The poor old cow soon realised, however, that there were a few unknown germs in her bog when Kweer stuck his fabby folds of flesh on his chubby buttocks when he had been “entertaining” Ukrainian rent boys and hsi dear friends Vladimir and Emmanuel.
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You really don’t want to be drinking tea using a Tea Bag…!
BBC News – Microplastics: Premium teabags leak billions of particles – study – BBC News
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-49845940?app-referrer=deep-link
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I’ve always known I’m drinking dust in my teabags. If I drink loose tea I’ll be getting whatever is dangerous much sooner.
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I go for the odd tin or box of that on supermarket shelves of their own brand which are always cheaper than a famous name. I’ve no need to tell you they are the same thing with the labels changed.
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