A Festive/ bah humbug cunting for most Christmas pop songs.

Not carols or hymns, or anything that raises the spirit and is timeless, just the shite that gets blasted out of shops, pubs, restaurants and site radios.

My Top 10 christmas cuntdown of done-to-death festive caterwaulings;

10) So Here it is Merry Christmas (Slade)
9) Rock into Christmas (Fat Reg)
8) christmas song (The Darkness)
7) Last Christmas (Wham)
6) Lonely this Christmas (Mudd)
5) Rocking Around the Christmas Tree (Mel and Kim)
4) All I Want For Christmas.. is Cunt. (Mariah Carey)
3) Wonderful Christmas Time (Old woman McCartney)
2)Fairytale of Toothless Irishness.
And at number 1, it’s So this is Christmas (war is over)’ by John Fucking Lennon.

A few exceptions;
Bowie and Bing
David Essex’s Winters Tale
Bruce Springsteen’s half-pissed cover of Santa Claus is Coming to Town… Pissed.
Chris Rea’s Ddddrrrrvin hom fah chrsms.
Gary Glitter’s Rock and Roll Christmas.
(I Believe In Father Christmas by Greg Lake is the best Christmas song – NA)

Nominated by : Cuntamus Prime

With additional vitriol aimed at Noddy Holder from Cunt of the Litter:

Now being a child of the 70s I usually find myself cunting people of a more contemporary nature but laid up with nasty flu , this greedy old cunt is really gripping my shit.

Not content with the £500k plus royalties he gets a year from the god awful song. The old bastard has whored himself out to Iceland (Bejams not the country, but he probably would if offered ) because he thinks we are all love him and this song

As such it’s not good enough to hear it on every radio station going , we now have to hear him lining his already overflowing Brummie pockets courtesy of a budget supermarket.

Fuck off Noddy and let the royalties trickle down to your family who won’t fucking bother us every fucking year with their gurning faces on TV

CUNT

The Grocer News Link

Why are students bringing their dependents here?
After all, they’re students, and unless they have rich parents, or are rich in their own right, they should hardly be able to keep an arse in their trousers, much less support a dependent.

Then I came across this little jewel of a report. That explains such a lot, a loophole, and quite legal, that you could drive a double-decker through.

Small wonder then, that “dependents” are coming in, on a visa. I cannot help but wonder how many get to stay?

Pie News Link

Nominated by: Jeezum Priest

Twitter and it’s true value.

”Victoria Coren issues Only Connect apology after show slammed for ‘shameful’ segment”

It seems that there was a tweet:-

”After the programme, Changing Faces tweeted: “We were disappointed and shocked to see scars described as marks of shame on your show recently. There is #NoShame in having a scar.”

It seems that some obscure cunt regards an everyday use of the word ‘scar’ as itself shameful. A grovelling apology was naturally rushed out.
An apology which seems to disregard the fact that this was an acceptable interpretation of the word.

So the true value of twatter is to deny facts and definitions in case some needy, nerdy twat, scouring the twattersphere gets offended. Aint social media grand?

MSN News Link

Nominated by: Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Not too far from me is a water treatment centre, which is obviously fenced off and secure from nosy trespassers. Fair enough.

However, I also noticed on the front gate the usual warning signs about keeping out, trespassers will be executed etc. But then there a whole load more additions, including, “Confined Space: may cause distress”, “Danger: beware of trucks”, “Danger: beware uneven surfaces”, “Caution: Trip Hazard”, “Danger: excavations in progress”, “Warning: noise may cause distress” … and on and on it went to the point where I counted 15 notices on one big notice board!

But to cap it all there was a smaller warning notice at the foot of this big sign saying “Warning: this sign has sharp edges”

I suppose I can understand the logic of all these warnings in order to protect the company from litigation, even though sometimes not even these notices will deter trespassers from suing if they ended up injured.

Years ago I was dumb-founded by the classic “Caution: Hot Water” sign affixed near to a hot water tap in a hotel room I was staying at. There was a similar sign by the kettle. And again it bemused me why all this was so necessary given that surely most people must have an ounce of common sense about them.

But clearly not it would seem.

I recall a time back in my youth and laughing at the road sign showing a bloke trying to open an umbrella; or the one with a bloke trying to abduct a child, or another sign with a massive exclamation mark at the centre. I thought we were about to be hit by a hoard of exclamation marks such was my naive mind at the time

But these days it seems anything and everything has some kind of warning sign attached to it. Even a bag of frozen peas probably has a warning to say its not suitable for someone or other.

It’s a sign of the times I guess (see what I did there!)

Nominated by: Technocunt

and seconded by: Geordie Twatt

‘Sign not in use’
‘Caution: Water on road during rain’
‘Speed limit for safety reasons’
All genuine.
I remember a comedy sketch once (possibly on ‘The Two Ronnies’) with a sign reading ‘Do not throw stones at this sign’.

Excellent nomination, hereby seconded.

Joshua Heath, a junior research fellow, reckons that Jesus could’ve been transgender. A 14th century painting depicting a stab wound in Christ’s side “takes on a decidedly vaginal appearance”. This view is supported by the dean of Trinity College, Cambridge University.

Is he claiming that the millions of people throughout the course of human history who’ve died from violent stab injuries were all transgender too? What a prize and deluded cunt.

You really couldn’t make up this shit. I fucking well despair at the madness permeating this once-great country.

Andrew Lawrence explains with far more humour and passion than I could ever muster:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSNL0XsnPL4

Telegraph Link.

Big News Network Link.
Post Millennial Link.
(Additional links provided by our Religious Scholar, Night Admin – NA)

Nominated by : Cunty McCunt