are psychopathic CUNTS.
Budgies are often underestimated as pets, but they are arguably some of the most dangerous animals in the world. Beneath their innocent appearance lies a terrifying combination of speed, intelligence and unpredictable behaviour. A budgie can go from calmly sitting in its cage chirping to its refection in a tiny mirror to causing absolute chaos in a matter of seconds, leaving you wondering what went wrong.
One of the biggest dangers of owning a budgie is its ability to attack without warning. Their viciously sharp beaks can deliver surprisingly painful bites, especially when they feel threatened or simply decide that they do not like the look of someone’s finger. They are also remarkably agile, meaning that escaping budgies can be extremely difficult to catch once they have decided to explore the highest bits of the house.
But perhaps the most frightening thing about budgies, however, is their psychological warfare. They can make loud noises at completely unreasonable times and then behave as though nothing happened. Their combination of chaos, attitude and total lack of remorse makes them a serious threat to household peace. And they shit everywhere.
For these reasons, budgies deserve being cunted as one of the world’s most dangerous pets. While they may be small, their confidence is enormous, their beaks are formidable, and their sociopathic capacity for causing trouble appears limitless. Anyone brave enough to own one should approach the responsibility with extreme caution — and preferably a large bucket of Trill®*.
🐦
*Other seeds are available.
Nominated by Sam Beau.
Don’t see them as much now do you?
used to be a time, they were in every grannies living room.
but caged birds make me sad.
I had a wild budgie till me brother killed it.
I was crackers about it.
15
@mnc….you know you should have put that bet on 🤣…all for some scraps of chips, ‘tha shud AV noon better’ 😖
6
Can I just ask Mis, is your choice of avatar on here psychologically connected to your brother killing your bird?
7
Was it called Kes?
3
no.
Kevin.
4
We kept budgies when I was young Sam. They would sit sweetly on your shoulder and suddenly, without warning take a painful bite of your earlobe. I don’t think they meant to harm you, after all when birds attack they go for the eyes. I think it was more akin to the nip a cat will give you when playing.
8
We had one in the early 80s,it escaped and ended up down the back of the fridge with a busted wing.
It didn’t give a fuck.
Good morning.
11
If you aren’t allowed a budgie due to housing policy or a awful wife,
a paper airplane ✈️ makes a good substitute.
for that authentic budgie ownership experience cover your carpet in seeds and dust
and repeatedly talk to yourself
whos a pretty boy then?*
* I am.
11
Mrs Twatt wasn’t in a good mood last night.
‘There’s a load of shit on the telly tonight’ she said.
So I told her to put the budgie back in its cage.
19
I’m more of a parrot man myself. Probably due to watching too much Monty Python in my formative years.
A sambo walks into a pub with a parrot on his shoulder.
‘Where did you get that?’ asks the barman.
‘From the pet shop next door’ replies the parrot.
I thank you.
14
Now you are winging it, toucan play that game.
What do you give a Budgie with a headache?
Parakeet-amol.
14
Rosie Jones walked into a pet shop asked, falteringly, if the parrot in the window was for sale.
‘Yes it is’, replied the shopkeeper.
‘Does it talk?’, she slurred.
‘A fucking sight better than you do, you mong!’, said the parrot.
18
Mind you. I bet Rosie’s typing is better than mine.
Clumsy old git.
7
Then there was the story of the dyslexic bloke who tried to order an African Grey online and ended up arranging a bumming session with Jerome from Kenya.
9
@geordie,🧥…I thank you
5
Brilliant, FMC. That’ll get a lot laughs from the lads in the bar tonight.
3
Anything with a hooked beak can be dangerous.
As evidenced by Sadiq Khan.
But parrots are equally as evil.
We looked after a friend’s parrot for a week.
‘He’s lovely’ she said.
‘Make sure you let him out of his cage twice a day and when he’s had enough, he’ll sit on your shoulder’.
She was right.
However, what she didn’t mention was that he’d then proceed to gnaw at my collar bone and neck with ferocity until I eventually grabbed the fucker and threw him back in his cage.
Needless to say he spent 6 days out of 7 locked up.
The vicious bastard!
8
We have to remember that budgies come from Australia so perhaps we should expect uncouth behaviour from them.
9
Why did the old ladies inevitably call their budgies Joey?
It would have made sense if they had a young kangaroo.
9
The only good bird is one that has been well cooked.
The feathery fuckers.
7
Can’t agree with this cunting, budgies are brilliant. Especially the green ones. Their antics are hilarious. Lots of famous people keep budgies. I can’t think of any off hand but it is 100 percent true. I remember back in the 1960s I bought our budgie a mirror with a bell on it. Fantastic!
Good morning, everyone.
10
Geoff Capes was a budgie keeper.
Also a fat, hairy cunt.
7
Morning Twenty
I’m sure I remember reading somewhere that the late Queen was a keen breeder of budgies
I could be getting them confused with corgies.p
7
More likely she had some flunky look after her budgies which she used to admire every other month for 10 minutes.
I can’t see that bitch ever cleaning out a bird cage.
8
Morning Artful/JP,
Living with Geoff and being only six or seven inches tall must have been truly terrifying. As for the late Queen, she probably kept her budgies in tupperware boxes so they stayed nice and fresh!
6
I don’t know about budgies Jeezum but she certainly bred bird-brains.
11
😄
3
My dad used to know a few budgie breeders.
They were obsessive old buggers who’d interbreed the birds to create the perfect budgie for shows.
These were big chested fuckers, that didn’t necessarily behave like normal budgies.
Avian Harvey Price’s basically.
8
I think Sam is getting excited about budgie smugglers, must have been all the heatwaves 😂
8
I’d sooner we were smuggling budgies than Moo Slime Ray Pisseds.
8
I quite liked budgie with Adam faith 😖…cheep,cheep 🦜
11
Budgie was a great series. Top theme tune as well.
2
Lots of people are cruel towards budgerigars. I remember my brother in law, when he would throw anything at its cage to shut it up from cheeping because it was disturbing him from watching the television. The silly cunt only made it worse. He’d finally put a cloth over the cage to make it think it was bedtime. Don’t know why he didn’t do that in the first place. That’s probably why the poor birds have a nasty streak, when never knowing when that bedtime sheet is coming.
5
Remember the crossword question. What lies at the bottom of a bird cage. 4 letters, beginning with S. answer is always, pass me the rubber.
4
https://www.reddit.com/r/budgies/comments/11g7y5v/do_all_budgies_fight_each_other_how_much_is/
Quite terrifying.
Be On Your Guard.
4
one of my grandads had zebra finch.
The other had pigeons.
There’s nothing more filthy and useless than a pigeon.
maybe Ed Milliband.
But he was highly respected in the pigeon breeding and racing world.
Dull cunts would come from miles around to get advice off him.
I prefer birds of prey.
regal, falconry is a sport of kings.
5
If he was covered in advice, that is where the problem lies. If they got advice FROM him, that would be a different story. Sorry Mis, I’m a right sarcastic cunt.
3
Hey Sammy,
you and JP lead me a merry dance yesterday.
you recommended it get a cowboy toothpick
JP said get a ivory one.
so I googled them.
A traditional cowboy toothpick is the bone from a racc#on dick.
I thought this was splendid!
an a good talking point in the pub.
what’s that in your mouth?
“co#ns dick”
but they’re banned in the UK!!
wouldn’t ship one to.me!!
fuckin Linda McCartney.
5
Puzzles me to this day, How renowned 60s fanny magnet McCartney dumped the delicious Jane Asher, a fit American heiress, and a couple of Miss Great Britains to marry Linda. A most bizarre story.
Her name wasn’t actually Eastman, it was Linda Epstein. Her rich lawyer dad was as smooth as shit and he changed the family name to Eastman to ‘hide’ their Jewish heritage.
When the Beatles had those nasty meetings between themselves, Allen Klein (also, coincidentally, Jewish) and the Eastmans at Apple, John Lennon used to sneer at Lee Eastman (Linda’s dad) and call him ‘Ep-steeeen’ because he knew it pissed off Eastman.
4
Fuck me… comments don’t come much shallower than that one.
2
I’d argue the type of person to keep a flying (or any) animal in a cage is way more dangerous than a budgie.
If I was kept on a cage and had the chance to snap at fingers I would, every chance I got.
7
A small bird tied to your ear by a short piece of string makes an ideal fan in hot weather.
7
I still remember Coronation Street busy body old cunt Percy Sugden. Looking for his beloved budgie, Randy.
The bird escaped Chez Sugden, and old Percy was on the cobbles shouting, ‘Randy! I need yer!’ ‘Come to daddy, please!’
At the time, I thought he had the horn for Emily Bishop.😁
5
My mate had a budgie called Sparky, after United striker Mark Hughes.
It could talk, and it had a few phrases it picked up off my mate…
‘Sparky’
‘Fuck off Lisa’ (my mate’s wife).
‘City are crap’.
‘Bollocks’.
2