The cunts that boil my piss are the arseholes that get to the tube barrier and then dig about in the bottom of their handbag for their oyster card, only to find it needs topping up. The dozy fuckers then try said oyster card half a dozen times before giving up and trotting off to the ticket machine to recharge it, creating a massive queue behind them that they have to wade back through. If half a dozen of these fucking imbeciles do this almost simultaneously at a busy station it becomes the perfect storm of fucktardedness.
Don’t even start me on fucking tourists who try and stick their oyster card into the paper ticket slot, causing the same kind of mayhem behind them previously only seen on the beaches of Dunkirk 80 years ago.
When the stupid twats finally figure it out they then stand the other side of the barrier waiting for the rest of their party, creating a human obstacle that gathers in size with every passing second.
Oh, and tourists, don’t forget to stand on the left and the right of the escalators and never bring a suitcase smaller than the northern hemisphere onto the tube in rush hour for people to trip over.
Also, don’t forget to stop at the bottom of the escalator and look totally confused as to where your going next. The pile of human bodies that is backing up behind you will really appreciate this.
You fucking retards!
Nominated by: Odin’s Balls
