Like most contributors to this glorious site, I have a small degree of pessimism regarding global warming and all of it’s variants (Anthropogenic Global Warming (AGW), Greenhouse Effect, Ozone layers, plastic bags, “rainforest the size of Wales”, etc). By “small degree”, I mean 360 of the fuckers.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against Polar Bears. I’ve not met one, but I am sure they are very nice. My problem is the meeja, environmentalists (environ plus mental – couldn’t make this up), pseudo scientists and fucking ignorant journalists.

So, I wandered past this beauty on my daily perusal of the non-mainstream-media (MSM) which, to keep with the climate theme is a “steaming shit-storm of complete crap”. https://order-order.com/2018/04/03/polar-bears-thriving-contrary-predictions/

So that you don’t have to read it all, the details are :-

Polar bear numbers have been stable or risen slightly since 2005, despite the fact that summer sea ice since 2007 hit levels not expected until mid-century (my bit… because it’s a fucking myth, that’s why these so-called predictions are such a load of wank, they are based on computer models, not actual, recorded figures and are then rounded-up and extrapolated to the point of ridiculousness).

The widely predicted 67% decline in polar bear numbers did not occur (see my point above).

As far as is known, the record low extent of sea ice in March 2017 had no impact on polar bear health or survival (my bit… Probably because it squashed the seals into a smaller area, making it easier for the bears to eat their favourite snack, Fuck me, this is not hard to work out).

Some studies show bears are lighter in weight than they were in the 1980s, but none showed an increase in the number starving to death or too thin to reproduce. (my bit again… “Some”. I fucking love that, this is like that shit-cunt organisation the al Beeba, 7 billion people agree something but one daft cunt does not. Probably and actress or air-head 12-year-old musician. Then we hear “Mixed opinions exist, and some dispute the findings” For Fucks Sake).

Zoologist Dr Susan Crockford said:

“Ice levels during the key feeding period in Spring have been good, and prey species have been abundant. It’s not really a surprise that polar bears are doing so well… The fear-mongering from the media and the polar bear specialists is now backfiring… They convinced the world that polar bears were doomed but the facts got out. Now would be a good time to set the story straight.”

Thank goodness there are proper scientists out there to do proper research.

Nominated by.Clactonite

Smart motorway? Really? Not when you have outsourced the operation of the gantries to Mis Tilly’s Remedial Class of retards is isn’t.

Lane Closed – Broken Down Lorry. Only if the lorry is an invisible one driven by the Retard’s imaginary friend carrying a full load of air it is you cunts.

Queue ahead – 40 mph – no – queue of traffic driving at 40mph here you cunts – open empty road lies ahead.

What happens – set the gantries and then the retards get put down for nap time or an English lesson made up of rearranging alphabettie spaghetti? Checked the jam cams when I got in – the restrictions are still in place 45 mins later.

I would check again but would end up putting my fist through the computer screen.

Smart Motorway? Retarded Motorway more like.

Nominated by Proper Cunt

Variable Speed Limit Motorways

Rant section: Ok I have had enough. If controlling the flow of traffic can make it all run smoother fine, do it. But that’s not enough is it? It is never enough.

If you have a variable speed limit that means that you can change the legal speed limit and enforce it with courts and databases and you have no choice but to obey or be fined.

Why do that? To control the flow of traffic to make it more efficient? Ok fine as we have said.

To make up for the fact that you have made an extra lane by changing the purpose of the hard shoulder? Ok bullshit but let’s let that slide.

To fucking well slow everyone down because there has been a “report” of some possible hazard, over an unreasonably huge area? No, fuck that you cunts.

Anecdote section:

So, last week I was driving up the M23 to M25 and the heading east along the M25. More than 5 miles before the junction there is a warning sign “Report of pedestrians”. And an advisory (yellow sign) speed limit. Yeah whatever.

As soon as I hit the M25 this advisory limit becomes a legal temporary limit of 50, and it continues for a further 13 miles to Junction 5. WTAF.

I then returned along the same stretch of the M25 going now west, the signs and limit is still there all the way back and then further on towards Leatherhead.

Why? I never saw anyone? Thousands of people had to slow down and worry which stupid cameras actually work for nothing. And I mean worry because when the pathetic signs that aren’t above the gantries say “40” for no bloody good reason and everyone stays at 55, you wonder if anyone gives a shit any more.

But no it’s not enough. Not only had this happened the week before on a small stretch of the M1, but today on the M3 where they have spent hundreds of millions of pounds over 3 years to remove the solid line of paint from the hard shoulder and stick up some more stupid signs, there was another one “report of debris”.

There wasn’t any fucking debris, there was another pointless 50 mph limit, which inexplicably changed to 40. There was also some power crazed moron in some office somewhere more than happy to press a couple of buttons and slow down thousands of people for the sake of hearsay.

Giving power to bureaucrats ostensibly concerned with safety to lord it over thousands of people has never been a good idea, and nor is it in this case. I know how understanding fluid dynamics and applying them to traffic flow can speed the motorway up, but if you’re going to slow everyone down in a 20 mile radius every time there is a “report” of something, with no fucking evidence, then there’s no bloody point is there. How did we cope before anyway? I’ll tell you what there is a report of, there is a report of cunts fucking around with our motorways for everyone else’s “good” because somebody gave them a button and a big sign. Fuck these cunts!

Nominated by Cunting Rank Wags

I would like to nominate “Social Mobility” for a timely cunting.

Social Mobility is the noble concept of bettering one’s self/one’s lot as each generation passes.

In a nation which has prided itself on “all being equal” allegedly since the English Civil War (but the reality being since state funded education – thus allowing the pleb masses the ability to use one’s brain, should one exist), you would think that the notion of “Social Mobility” being a just and noble one.

It is, but only when the folk in question aspire to it!

I am working class, I wear it with a badge of honour, unlike “the city” cunts who avoid any such background like the bubonic plague.

My Grandmother was one of 7 children (and they weren’t even catholics). That’s just the way it was as a lot of children born into the slums of the 1900’s thru 1920’s died at birth or during infancy. Times definitely were hard.

There was no welfare system, no NHS and oftentimes the only meals my Nan and her siblings got was at the soup kitchen.

My Nan and great Aunt (the 2nd born) used to go to school on alternate days because they had to share the same pair of shoes. How very Pythonesque eh.

My Nan left school in Sunderland at 14 and went into service down London – very much in the upstairs/downstairs mold – for a doctor and his wife. He was gentleman and generous – luckily for her, as a lot if the “nobility” (back in the day) would have had her bent over the scullery table as soon as look at her.

During the blitz my great grandmother asked the doctor if my Nan could return home while “the nonsense” was going on. He sent her home and with a £5 note – not that any if my family knew what to do with the cunt, it was far too large a denomination.

She was married at 16 and had 3 kids before she was 20. This was during the war years and as she never saw my grandad from one year to the next (a merchant seaman) she also had to support them by working as a cook 8am-6pm Mon/Sat in a local workingmen’s cafe.

My Mum was intelligent enough to warrant place in grammar school but couldn’t attend due to the financial implications. She left school at 15 and worked all her life in a manual labour job.

My Dad was a miner (like his Dad, grandad, great grandad, etc., before him). He left school at 15. Was a coal face worker by 17 and – by his own admission – was as thick as day old porridge. He worked down the pit for 37.5yrs and loved every minute of it. He hated Scargill and never once voted Labour – of which I am ultimately proud.

So enter me the product of a poor working class background. I was told to “stick in” at school and through some fluke I found it easy – which is just as well as I had fuck all chance of gleaning any algebraic nuggets from the mater and pater that’s for sure!

I was an only child and never wanted for a thing.

I did school, college and Polyversity (when it was free – God bless you Maggie), got myself a decent job and now work for myself (albeit in deepest darkest Lutonistan currently).

I am Social Mobility. Mark Blyth (a Glaswegian orphan brought up in the benefits system) – professor of economics at Brown University in the states, who spoke more sense about Brexit than any other person I listened to – is Social Mobility. We are the epitome of Social Mobility!

Over the last few days there has been many stabbings, shootings and killings in general. No cunt wants to identify the real cause, instead they have defaulted (Khan, Abbott, any libtard with no facts that the ABBC and Sly News can rake up) to blaming a “lack of Social Mobility”.

Khan should know better as he fucking IS a product of Social Mobility as his Dad was a bus driver (I don’t suppose you’ve ever heard him mention that…).

What “Social Mobility” means these days is basically gifting undeserving cunts an unfair advantage who piss that opportunity up the wall!

Truly “Socially Mobile” people will achieve irrespective of their background because they have the tenacity/gumption to achieve no matter what.

My daughter has been applying for Uni places recently and the number of loaded questions trying to figure out if your a piece of Jeremy Kyle shite (to gift them precedence in placings) is sickening.

When I applied to Polytechnic (yes they were places were you went to learn in order to do a fucking job and earn a living) there was no positive discrimination based on your social background – you either had the nouse or you didn’t, end of.

Pushing cunts who’ll be cunts no matter what (from a n-generation of workshy cunts) in name of “Social Mobility” achieves NOTHING. And certainly will not reduce violent crime.

Why don’t the powers that be tackle the real issue: getting idle cunts and their benefits brood back into work and garner a sense of self worth rather than this nauseating whining of self pity and expecting every other cunt to be responsible for your lot! <B>YOU LAZY IDLE WORKSHY CUNTS!</B>

So fuck “Social Mobility” in it’s modern guise, it just more virtue-signalling nonsense that absolves the political establishment from actually tackling the real causes of the anti-social climate that we find ourselves in!

Fuck off Westminster! You cunts!

Fuck off Khan/Abbott! You cunts!

Deal with the REAL issues instead of deflecting them with non-issues! You cunts!

Nominated by Rebel without a Cunt