So if you’re a fat cunt, with rolls of excess flesh flopping about.
If Primark leggings simply aren’t big enough, but you force yourself into them anyway, to the disgust of normal size people.
If you haven’t seen your genitals for years, and fuck knows what your arse looks like after a shite ( no, don’t show me, please ) it’s all ok, because obesity is a disease.
No doubt you’ll be getting some kind of benefit, and probably a car. How fucking marvellous.
Why the fuck are we encouraging these grotesque land whales?
Nominated by Jeezum Priest.
A second helping provided by : Balsamic Dave
A righteous cunting, wholeheartedly seconded by me.
May I also offer Ricky Gervais’s absolutely razor sharp commentary on this exact subject: YouTube.
yes it’s not your fault your a big sweaty dungheap,
your absolved of personal responsibility because you’re a victim of disease
cake autism
deliveroo disorder
No point trying to do anything about it,
it’s not your fault.
just put on your nosebag full of Macclesfield D’sand get on the mobility scooter.
16
McDonald’s not Macclesfield.
hehehe, your crackers you Korean piece of shite😄
14
A bit harsh, that is, Mis. Most fat cunts are genuinely suffering from an incurably overactive knife and fork.
8
They like to say it’s glandular or water retention, where anyone with eyes can see it’s cream cake and lard retention.
10
Agreed, Odin. I get royally pissed off when I spot the clumsy fat cunts charging round supermarkets in taxpayer-funded battery powered chariots, expecting me to leap out of the way so that they can get to the highest calorie foods.
You never see them hurtling towards the fresh fruit and veg and you don’t see many similarly fat bastards on the continent. No, they’re nearly all here. Surprise sur-fucking-prise.
Wasting benefits on such fat, greedy idle slobs gives new meaning to the word ‘largesse’.
I’d give them fuck all, I’d just tell them eat less or die, you hideous fat cunts.
7
Morning Isabel.
With our steel industry going to the wall due to Crazy Ed’s net zero insanity, we should be looking at alternative fuel sources for the blast furnaces.
By my calculations, your average land whale could keep the furnaces going for a good 20 minutes each.
I’m currently drawing up the design for the carousel that will feed the fat fuckers into the supply side of the furnace.
it looks a bit like the hopper on the fresh orange juice machines.
5
Great idea, Odin. They’d count as renewables too because it’s a certainty that there’s no shortage of future supply. Barmy Fuckin’ Ed would lap it up.
4
If it were a disease then you would be able to catch it.
Despite the millions of fat bastards that turn up on holiday here each year, I have managed not to become infected.
Mrs Cunter has two fat friends.
One of them feels the need to eat a full lunch every day and follow that up with a huge diner.
Fat people always seek out the restaurants that serve the biggest portions, and she is the same.
Apparently she is on the fat jabs.
The lazy bitch things that she can eat as much as she wants and the injections will take care of it.
Her other friend spends her time on cruises.
All you can eat in the many restaurants on board which she admits to overusing.
On her return home she books herself into a clinic in Madrid and has yet another surgery and tummy tuck.
She has been there more than a dozen times.
Alledgedly her gut looks like a road map of scars and her enormous, saggy tits hang down to her waist.
These two have got the disease really bad.
15
@art….do they collect the green stamps at the canteena, la la la la la lah la lah 🎶….ole
3
Macclesfield D’sand? Fucking hell Mis, it looks like it must be using AI. Post the details of make and model and maybe someone can advise you on how to tame the brute.
5
Morning Arfur.
I’ve got that predictive text turned on.
I have customers booking in and take deposits,
so I have to send them my bank details,
predictive text helps with that.
Although it’s crackers ,
more unpredictable text.
7
Understood Mis. I guess you’ll have to live with it, certainly don’t risk losing business. Ignore my advice, sensible people do.
7
Put all of your bank details on a text file.
Copy and paste the text file when you need to send the details.
Turn off predictive text.
7
Artie@
whod you think I am?
Elon Musk?!
I don’t know how to do that stuff.
5
King-in-waiting Andy has told Clammy, Heidi Hi and the Flabapotamus that if they want a job in his Government they’ll have to lose weight.
Honestly, as if they didn’t have enough on their plates already.
18
Heidi ‘three seats’ Alexander
12
Yes that’s her SOI, in triplicate.
She was due to give a presentation to the press this morning outlining the Government’s plans for transport infrastructure.
Unfortunately it had to be cancelled at the last minute because Heidi ate all the pie charts.
9
I saw a clip of her walking to No10, using the fatties arm swing, arms moving three times faster than the legs 😂
4
If you look at this piece of film from 10 minutes, 11 seconds, you will see Heidi as you have never seen her before with Ant & Dec:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkfnBtQl2n8
0
No one could put fat bastards in their XXXL place better than George Carlin:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDCuoW0HPiU
6
We could always deport every takeaway delivery driver, then the fatso’s would have to walk to the chip shop..
Labour is the party of the gut-lords. Look at Rodney, peaceful spunk must be fattening..
Still he will lose the weight, when the aids kicks in.
11
In the nineties I often worked early shifts at the airport where along with half the staff we started at 6am. The race was on to get everything ready for 7am when the departures started. At 7am the panic eased and half the staff could take a break and go to breakfast in the subsidised canteen. I regularly saw people having meals which caused me to think I wouldn’t have eaten again that day. I noticed early on that the lads who were baggage handlers and were always working hard because a plane that missed it’s slot was a financial disaster, commonly ate this way but none were obese. Back office staff who emulated them only required to put on a few more pounds and they would have neede moving around on a sack truck.
9
There may be some who do have an issue other than pies, but the vast majority are, to use the medical term, fat bastards.
The cure for most is a simple, Oi Lard Ass stop filling your fucking cake hole.
If you want to be sympathetic, Oi Lard Ass stop filling your fucking cake hole or you will die.
8
Years ago, fat wimminz used the excuse that they were ‘big boned’.
Haven’t heard that one for a long time.
Nowadays it’s a litany of various reasons that excuse the individual from any personal responsibility to help themselves – childbirth, hormones, genes, stress, depression, anxiety.
And the latest affliction that has a seemingly endless list of symptoms, the menopause.
All of which, no doubt, will soon be classed as diseases in their own right.
Strangely enough though. If you are an overweight bloke, most wimminz will class you as simply a fat cunt.
Work that one out.
13
I like the term morbid obesity. They’re not satisfied with being fat, but have to be morbid with it. I’ve yet to see an over weight cunt with white flowing hair like mine at the over eights club, or any hair for that matter. There should be notices on doors and spaces for fat cunts only, similar to when black cunts only spaces were annoying stopped. Anyway they can’t stop me thinking what’s in my own mind as I go on my merry way. The authorities will find a way one day, but that’s a long way away from now.at the moment I’m enjoying myself.
6
over eights Sammy?
do you mean after eights?
4
You must’ve been listening, Mis to half of what l’ve been saying over the years. I was one year old when the war ended. I wasn’t allowed to to celebrate with a pint, but was given extra milk instead.
3
You’re right Mis, my eyes. I should’ve corrected it to over eighties.
4
Even got mustn’t have wrong.
3
There used to be an Over 8 club in London.
It was for women who liked big cocks.
For a guy to be a member he had to have a cock over 8 inches long.
True.
7
How did that blackhead get in on the bottom line of my speech ? Remember blackheads on people’s faces years ago. Dirty bastards.
3
I kind of understand it.
I’ve a big appetite.
born hungry.
But you have to have self discipline.
steak and chips
fish n chips
pie and mash
cream cakes
I like all of them,
and as you get older you’re metabolism slows down,
it’s harder to burn it off.
most days it’s porridge for breakfast.
egg sandwich for dinner
and baked potato, thin cut sizzle steak and salad for tea.
salad, a necessary evil.
boring as fuck but it’s not bad for you.
apart from making you sad.
But for some the only way they’ll lose weight is having a leg amputated due to diabetes.
8
With my diabetes and my unwillingness to take the horrible medication, I have perhaps the most boring diet ever.
It would be easier to list what I do eat rather than what I don’t.
As an example….. No pies and absolutely no chips for fucking years now.
Strangely, I don’t have the fatness disease and never had have.
4
‘you can’t have your 🍰 and eat it’….wanna bet 😩 all together now ‘hey fatty bum bum,big sugar dumpling’ 🎶
7
luckily I don’t eat pizza,pasta, Indian or Chinese shite.
Racism saved my life.
9
You are a true Brit like me, Mis. Bland food is good for you, but I tend to stray a little at times on the foreign stuff that’s needed for a good diet. Don’t want to get fat do we. Apparently obesity kills you. I do like saying things that annoy big obese black cunts.
4
Just picture David Lammy and Diane Abbott holidaying together at the Nudist Camp. Their flabby folds of flesh applauding each other.
7
Mr Boggs,
I did but disturbingly got a massive throbber?
is this wrong?
6
Think of the smell
4
MNC I think you should put your name on the list for the Boggs Pornographic FIlm Productions (Taiwan) Ltd “speciality” catalogue. Rest assured it is always sent in a strong plain sealed envelope. Special “under the counter” offers. Under 25s and vicars not elligable.
5
Can’t bring myself to mention those two jet black nonentities, W. C. Boggs. Makes me cringe at the thought when I see people’s names on here who don’t deserve a mention.
5
ps
luckily I don’t like pizza, Indian or Chinese food., pasta and other w@g shite.
Racism saved my life.
1
People keep on saying I’m fat so much I could cut myself, a piece of cake.
5
Mate of mine is in the fire service, they had to attend a shout where this “FAT BASTARD” was took poorly. The paramedics couldn’t get the cunt down the stairs and into the ambulance.
The firemen had to get the ALP out:
https://www.dsfire.gov.uk/fleet/aerial-ladder-platform
Take out the bedroom window and man handle the bastard onto the platform..!
Fuck knows how they got it out of the ambulance when they got to hospital…!
13
Nobody does Fat like the yanks.
you know your fat when your out of breathe from blinking.
even their earlobes are fat.
Big round faces, wheezing away.
Even the coppers!!
Anyone remember Butterbean?
the heavyweight boxer,
hes a copper now.
he was great though, 👍
5
https://youtu.be/xJXbk75Pdrk?is=byrAx2mDX3lwe1ij
Butterbean.
Getting revenge for every big boned tubster who’s been underestimated.
5
An illness easily cured, in most cases eat less will suffice.
6
What annoys me, these fat bastards don’t appear to be embarrassed anymore. Must follow one around next time I’m out shopping instead of avoiding them and see what they are eyeing up for a snack. At least they have the guts (Ah Ah) to go and get the meals for two or more themselves instead of sitting at home ordering it. Whatever happened to plump people who were classed as being golly. That I think was just a little further along the line from when I was born before the war ended and these greedy people started getting fat when more food became available. Due to modern language these days, it’s preventing them from building supermarkets for fat cunts only.
1
I find it appalling that nobody has mentioned that this disease disproportionately affects ethnic minorities.
Think on.
Good morning.
8
sadly I caught this disease years ago. it flares up normally on the sofa in the evenings.
starts with 3 or 4 cans of mcewans champion ale, followed by the munchies where it forces me to eat shit food
8
Has me in it’s terrible grasp as well CC. The medication I have to take to remain a functioning part of our wonderful World has numerous side effects one being the suppression of the brain function which tells you you’re full. Unless I want to be a full on fat bastard I attempt to eat as little as possible. Until I was informed of this “minor” side effect I had ballooned from 12 st 9 lbs to almost 18st. In 3 years. Even my late wife was saying hell you’re getting to be a fat fuck. Oh well look on the bright side I’m sure king of the north will make a big effort to solve our country
7
I’m working in Hammersmith today and I’ve just noticed that every fat cunt waddling round the streets has a neck fan to cool the feta cheese they keep stored in the folds between their chins.
Some cracking fanny around today too. Where does it all go in the winter months?
10
Morning Odin, maybe there’s a new fetish in town…instead of a tit wank, the modern pėrv could perhaps avail himself of a manatee’s neck folds…after all, they’re already sweat-lubricated.
9
Afternoon Thomas.
Not sure about sweat lubrication in those neck folds.
With the temperatures hitting 36 degrees here, it will most likely turn the yeast growing between their chins into marmite. 🤮
4
Morning Odin, it doesn’t sound like you’ll be getting much work done if you’re being distracted by brush.
A couple of old friends of mine from Uni used to live in Hammersmith in the late 70s, not far from Craven Cottage. I liked it round there, relatively quiet with some good pubs serving London Pride.
But I couldn’t believe how expensive property was. Flats were about £25,000 and houses about £45,000.
6
Prices have gone up a bit Geordie. We’re building 1 bed flats that are smaller than my lounge for £600k.
The rinky dinks are snapping them up like there’s no tomorrow. The thick cunts.
Looking on the bright side, I’m sat out her seeing more camel toe than an Egyptian vet. 😁
8
‘Seeing more camel toe than an Egyptian vet’.
Brilliant!
Can I borrow that one please Odin?
5
Of course you may, Geordie.
Isn’t the English language so wonderfully descriptive. 😁
4
One meal a day (in a 2 hour window) is worth investigating for most people. I’ve been doing that for about 8 months now and am fitter than ever…it’s amazing how all the little creaks and pains are gone that had been there for 15 years.
6
Exactly Thomas.
There is absolutely no reason why anyone would need 3 meals a day, or even eat every day for that matter.
I never have breakfast or lunch and I will never buy a snack during the day, even if I stop somewhere for fuel.
The feeling you get when you are hungry is not an awful lot different from the feeling that you get when you are full.
So no need to stuff yourself with unnecessary food.
2
I bet big fat cunts wish they could become snakes and loose all the weight eventually, after eating something whole.
4
Willpower is something that comes easily to me. Possibly from being born during the war when everything was scares. It was easy for me to give up smoking, drinking and eating to excess now necessary when getting older. All these costly devices people have to pay for these days to help them and always fails. Fortunately I have the vital ingredient of willpower.
3
In my younger days I found that tubby girls were always the best fucks.
Obviously you wouldn’t want to take them anywhere or spend more time with them than was necessary, but they were always eager for a shag and always had tight fannies.
7
agree Artie.
Best fuck i had was with something that looked like a fatberg with eyes.
it’s clopper was like a little velvet rosebud.
I shot my beans that hard I nearly put my back out.
8
And they were greatful for it, also more chance of getting a gobble of a fat ugly minger.
4
Testing
1
DIET YOU FAT LUMPS
6
It seems that my humorous and insightful post has upset someone in cyberspace.
No matter what I try, I can’t post it.
I can’t be arsed to type it again, but suffice to say it included fat slags, benefits, Lycra leggings, fat arses and single mums.
6
Wasn’t Tramp stamped lycra legginged benefit blaggers?
4