Author Archives: A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Lisa Armstrong

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I would like to cunt Ant McFartings soon to be ex wife. This typical bitch has done what most bitches do when a relationship ends for whatever reason [usually due to them being insufferable cunts], they make your life a misery, spend your money like it’s going out of style, withhold sex, let themselves go so you wouldn’t wanna fuck ’em anyway, and then as soon as he could do with some support and it looks like his career is up the swanny she’s out the door quick as a flash.

She then gets a solicitor to try and take poor old Ant to the cleaners, even wants the fucking dog,and generally wont be happy until she’s picked him clean.

Then this gold digging tart gets her arse in her hands when he moves on and finds the next Mrs gold digger, so typical ex wants the fucking air that you breath and still wants to make sure you can’t be happy.

So stick with it Ant, even though you get on my last nerve I’m with you on this one. Don’t lie down and take it in the arse just yet. It will be over with in 4 or 5 years and then the cunt will apologise and want to be friends.

Nominated by fuglyucker

The BBC [18]

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I’d like to nominate the BBC for yet again appeasing the do gooders etc. All shortlists for senior roles are to include one ethnic minority.

What the hell happened to you get the job, if your qualified enough. Simple as that. And where does it stop…do all “traditionally” female roles now need to have at least one man shortlisted and vice-versa.

It’s positive discrimination as eluded to in the post about the winner of Britain’s (not) Got Talent. All the ethnics, disabled people, gays, women in traditional male roles and men in traditional female roles will have that nagging voice in the back of their mind telling them they’re only in their job to fulfil a quota and not because they’ve truly earned it.

Nominated by McCunterson

I have to nominate this list of cunts having just read the BBC rich list and I could not believe some of the names on it and what they are paid FFS. Not one of these cunts is worth the money, the list is populated by football taking morons, a newsreader who just does fuck all except read from an auto cue, and the faded wannabe Nicky Campbell who drones on about religion to a TV audience of about a hundred and to top it all a wrinkly prune faced old crone who does fuck all except bake cakes, and Norton who just sits on a chair and talks about himself to his guests, Vine who is the loony lefts mouthpiece on the radio, Nick Grimshaw even his listeners can’t stand him. Most of the rest I have never even heard of

Gary Lineker – £1,750,000-£1,759,999
Chris Evans – £1,660,000-£1,669,999
Graham Norton – £600,000-£609,999
Steve Wright – £550,000-£559,999
Huw Edwards – £520,000-£529,999
Jeremy Vine – £440,000-£449,999
Nicky Campbell – £410,000-£419,999
Alan Shearer – £410,000-£419,999
John Humphrys – £400,000-£409,999
Nick Grimshaw – £400,000-£409,999
Stephen Nolan – £400,000-£409,999
Andrew Marr – £400,000-£409,999
Ian Wright – £170,000-£179,999
Emily Maitlis – £220,000-£229,999
Amol Rajan – £200,000-£209,999
Mary Berry – £190,000-£199,999
Katya Adler – £170,000-£179,999
Ian Wright – £170,000-£179,999
Sarah Montague – £160,000-£169,999
Rachel Burden – £150,000-£159,999
Tina Daheley – £150,000-£159,999
Jane Garvey – £150,000-£159,999
Simon Jack – £150,000-£159,999
Fergal Keane – £150,000-£159,999
Sarah Smith – £150,000-£159,999

Jesus Ian Wright and Alan Shearer paid a small fortune for taking shit about football and of course, Lineker top of the BBC gravy train for being a football-talking cunt.

Nominated by iamnot

Posted in BBC

Blimpgate

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Leo Murray. Sorry, but who the fuck is Leo Murray? Well, he’s the cunt behind the Trump baby blimp that flew for all of two hours this morning watched by a small crowd of like minded people including a man in a cage dressed in a gorilla suit and wearing a Donald Trump mask. I kid you not!

Not so much of a cunt however as the people who gave money to the crowdfunding appeal to pay for this piece of childish nonsense…. or the people who have so far donated £40,000 to launch a similar blimp of Sadiq Khan in a nappy. It will be interesting to see if the illustrious London Mayor gives permission for them to fly that. I doubt it. Labour politicians are renown for their double standards.

In Murray’s own words : “The story starts with Trump’s election and inauguration. I was part of a group that organised a big protest to mark his inauguration, which was called “Bridges not Walls”. We dropped banners from all the bridges by the Thames and 250 others around Europe and beyond. It was a reminder of a common humanity and a commitment to resist. The group then decided that if he ever comes here, we obviously have to protest. However, there’s a chance he won’t really give a fuck about a regular protest against his policies. He lacks the capacity for moral shame. You simply can’t reason with him, because he’s not a reasonable person. You also can’t appeal to his conscience as he’s got no conscience. So we went with ridicule.”

Well, Leo, Trump doesn’t give a fuck about your stupid blimp either. So enter Yanny Bruere. Yanny strongly objects to the Trump baby blimp and wants to launch a Khan blimp of his own. “I think it’s insulting and childish. We shouldn’t be making the US president feel unwelcome. Trump has made America safe and has made the world safe. In London, under Khan as mayor, crime is soaring to unprecedented levels and people don’t feel safe. We’re making the Sadiq Khan balloon as ugly as possible.” Apparently, that’s not childish.

However, as you both seem to be such advocates of free speech, I’d like to say that I think you’re a right pair of cunts…

Nominated by Dioclese

Professor Green

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Dough-faced overgrown roadman Professor Green. This wigger, unburdened by any modicum of talent, should be on death row if not for his hideous, childish tattoos, then just for abusing the honorific “Professor.”

He has proved beyond doubt that one doesn’t need to be black to write and perform utterly unlistenable shit.

He’s in the news crying poor, moaning about his expensive divorce from vapid Made In Chelsea candy heir/whore Millie Mackintosh. Shocking that a marriage to a fame whore who is far better looking, and who was slumming in the gutter when she picked him up, would end in divorce.

He’s also “opening up” about his father’s suicide which was no doubt inspired by pater’s prophetic shame of his son. Laddy, your father should be your example.

Nominated by William Morrissey

Media Hype of the England Football Team

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England are out. Semi finals of the World Cup. No shame in that.

But, as predictable as the passing of the seasons, the media build up then knock down the England football team with all their assembled cuntitude; a cuntitude pooled together from newspapers, TV, pundits and so-called fucking expert analysis.

The media reportage and structure of their coverage and tone of the English campaign can be summed up as follows:

Weeks before the WC:
“No one expects anything, even though we really do.”

After first narrow group win, vs middling Africans Tunisia:
“England already doing better than last tournament. So they might win the whole thing. Tunisia finished 8th in the Africa Cup of Nations, thus very tricky opponents.”

After emphatic second group win, vs canal dwellers Panama:
“England look the real deal. If Neymar is valued at £200m, Kane must be worth at least £4billion. Now, if we come second in the group, we can charter our route to the final only slightly more easily than we can charter our route to the final if we top the group. Either way, we are definitely planning for be final. Live coverage of Lightning Seeds a capella version of It’s Coming Home given focus on Radio 4.”

After the pens R16 knockout of bean-farming cheats Colombia:
“Let the unreasonable expectations begin. We endlessly and shamelessly bastardize everything of note in English cultural history to include Harry Kane’s face, such as the famous Lord Kitchener poster and Bernard Manning. Endless interviews with overhyped fans and digging up the corpses of long-forgotten England players like Paul Parker for that tasty optimistic soundbite.”

After the QF win against a very shit Sweden:
“We go nuclear. The world cup is so practically ours we should get the engraving process going now. Get every single middle-class presenter to feign an interest in England’s progress, especially cunts like Bill Turnbull. Expect populist references aplenty from politicians. Extend interviews to total fucking nutcases like the shitbanter geezercunt who halted his wedding to hashtag England’s win live, and that bloke who once got caught masturbating with Lampard’s flip flops.”

5mins after the defeat to Croatia:
“A nation stands saddened, but proud.”

20mins after the defeat to Croatia:
“A nation stands saddened, but proud… although Kane wasn’t so good tonight.”

1 hour after the defeat to Croatia:
“Southgate is a waistcoat wearing cunt, we only beat shit sides and we need an inquisition and a fucking scapegoat. Nothing less than the jugular. Did we mention how shite Harry Kane was?”
***
Hence the English media are absolute fucking cunts who without fail suck the joy right out of supporting England.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back