*** EMERGENCY CUNTING ***
My piss is boiling over! FFS Corbyn, you do NOT wear a red tie at the Cenotaph on Armistice Day.
The Leader of Her Majesty’s Opposition cannot be bothered to wear a black tie as a mark of respect for millions of the dead who fought for him to have the freedom to spout his drivel.
Corbyn, you are a fucking disgrace!
Nominated by Dioclese
Oh dear. More snowflakery from the world of academia, and this time it’s Cambridge University. Suggestions put forward to the Student’s Union to help promote Remembrance Sunday have been voted down. Instead it appears that plans put forward by ‘right on’ student activist Stella Swain will be adopted, to ‘reshape Remembrance Sunday away from the glorification and valorisation of war’.
Any references to British war veterans, poppies and Remembrance Sunday were removed from the motion and are, at least as far as CUSU is concerned, now history, or not, as the case may be.
Christ on a bike, don’t these fucking airheads get it?
Remembrance Sunday is NOT about glorifying war. It’s a solemn ceremony held in the UK and throughout the Commonwealth to honour the contributions of UK and Commonwealth service personnel in two world wars and other conflicts. Why don’t they look up the difference between ‘glorify’ and ‘commemorate’ in a fucking dictionary if they don’t know it? Then when they’ve done that, they can have a little think on the fact that they’re free to voice their wanky little opinions because of the sacrifices made by all those who fought and died to give them that opportunity. Is it too much to ask them to show a little respect?
Next time some nasty shit comes down the pipe, waving a candle above your head and whining ‘Kumbaya’ won’t hack it.
I’d like to send these cocks a message via the medium of ‘…is a cunt’. You make me want to vomit. Grow up, wear a poppy with pride and be thankful, and stop acting like the pampered, vacuous little cunts that you so obviously are.
Nominated by Ron Knee
A cunting for Gavin Williamson, the defence secretary who has announced that all combat roles are to be open to women, including Royal Marines Commandos, the SAS and SBS, but, and I quote:
“All female soldiers will have the pass the same physical fitness tests as male recruits.”
Yeah ‘course they fucking will, Gav, you lying cunt. What do you take us for, eh? Cunts??? Pound to a fucking penny that standards will be fucking dropped to allow ‘wimmin’ into the roles. Happened in the fucking fire brigade, despite constant denials and it’ll happen in the Armed Forces. God fucking help us.
Nominated by DCI Gene Cunt
I will actually come to Gavin Williamson’s defence here, I am sure you have your own ideas about “women” ect, however if you were to venture to the town of Aldershot where generations of “women” have grappled with the parachute regiment for almost 70 years, you will find a special breed of “women”, these “women” are capable of most things (except femininity) and also responsible for starting and winning 70% of the bar fights here.
So if Mr Williamson recruits exclusively from Aldershot I can guarantee you special force groups that will for certain make any enemy shit there pants at the mere thought of any possible conflict with us.
Nominated by Lord Benny
Women on the front line? Great idea for fighting ISIS. The peaceful bastards won’t fight women because being killed by one of them stops them going to heaven and fucking the brains out of their virgins.
The Kurds got hold of this one early on and used all women companies to make the cunts retreat.
Nominated by Pedantic Cunt
In case anybody is wondering, Elizabeth Warren is a Democrat Senator in the US, who for years has claimed to be of Native American heritage, specifically, Cherokee and Delaware. This has led to much ridicule from various people across the pond, who have nicknamed her ‘Pocahontas’ and ‘Fauxcahontas’. Of course, lefties have fallen over themselves to accept her patent bullshit, to the point that Harvard began to refer to her as a, ‘Person of Colour’, despite the fact she’s clearly as white as arctic snow.
Now, to prove her claim, she’s had a DNA test. Depending on whether or not you’re a dipshit lefty, the result is either ‘strong proof’ as Warren claims that she IS of Native American heritage, or it’s proof that she’s talking shite! Are you ready for this? The DNA test has revealed that Warren is between 1/64 and 1/1024 Native American. That’s actually LESS than the average American. In other words, she’s between 98.44% and 99.9% White.
Of course, that hasn’t stopped the BBC siding with Warren, they’re reporting this bollocks without giving specific facts. Unfortunately for them, and Warren, the Cherokee Nation have taken a different view, and rejected her claim. Oh dear. And as the Cherokee are Native Americans and therefore, ‘People of Colour’ as lefties like to patronisingly call anyone who isn’t white, they can’t possibly be wrong, can they? I dare say that this revelation won’t stop Warren from making the claim that she’s not entirely white, but the fact is, I have more Native American DNA than she does. My great great grandfather on my American dad’s side was Cheyenne. Though I’m sure if I actually bothered with the test, the Native DNA it showed would be minute, which is why I never claim to be Native American. I’m not. Elizabeth Warren does. Which is why she’s a cunt.
Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw
We’re all familiar with the cliché about opinions. They’re like arseholes, and we’ve all got one. This seems to be particularly true where luvvies are concerned, and they’re never slow to ride their hobby horses in public. Allow me to offer a few illustrations so that you get my drift.
Take ‘the refugee crisis’. We had heart-on-sleeve thesp Carey Mulligan whining about being ‘ashamed to be British’, and accusing the country of ‘failing to address the issue’. Benecunt Cunterbatch stuck his oar in, until challenged by someone to take a few peacefuls into his lush £2.7m. pad. He ‘seriously looked into it’, but didn’t act on the suggestion as ‘we had a very new baby at the time’. What about now, or has it become someone else’s problem after all?
Then there’s David Tennant. The actor formerly known as Doctor Who recently presumed to let Donald Trump know ‘on behalf of the Scottish nation’ that ‘Scotland doesn’t fucking like you’. There you go; the people speak as one.
Of course Brexit draws these wankers like flies to shit. When in Germany a while ago, slaphead Patrick Stewart took it upon himself to ‘apologise’ to the EU on behalf of the British people for ‘the disastrous mistake’ of Brexit. He’s now fronting up a bunch of Metrocentrics who want a ‘People’s Vote’ to supersede the referendum, which was invalid (ie. they lost). That heavyweight political commentator Graham Norton has just decided to jump on the ‘speak for all’ Brexit bandwagon, claiming on Irish tv that ‘everyone knows it’s a bad idea’. As if that wasn’t bad enough, cultural giants such as Ed Sheeran, Sting (of course) and Rita Ora are now warning that a no deal Brexit will put Britain in ‘a self built cultural jail’, no less. ‘Awa’ hame an’ throw shite at yersel’ ‘, as they say north of the border. Tell that one to Shakespeare. Tell it to Austen, Turner and Elgar; hell, tell it to four lads from Liverpool who you might have heard of. They were called The Beatles.
Now let me be clear. As far as I’m concerned, any celebrity is welcome to any opinion they choose to hold. What fucking hacks me off however is their smug presumption that their celebrity leads us to value their opinions, or care to hear them. Why? Because they’ve been on the telly or made a record? What they need to do is stick to their very well paid jobs and stop pontificating to the rest of us. To put it simply, I don’t give a fuck. I wouldn’t trade the skin off a fart for any luvvy’s view on anything. That goes for you too, Mr Alan Cumming, so stop spouting your tiresome drivel on the question of Scottish independence.
In short, stick your unsought opinion up up your arse, as far as it will go.
Nominated by Ron Knee