Author Archives: A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Richard Scudamore and the Premier League

Posted on by

Scudamore & the Premier League

I’ve just seen on Al-beebra that outgoing PL Executive Chairman Richard Scudamore could be in line for an eye-watering 5mill. farewell bonus, paid for by the 20 PL clubs.

Mr ’39th Game’ Scuntamore is reportedly on 2.5mill. a year, and no doubt will have a fat pension lined up to boot. Nevertheless his pal Bruce Fuck (sorry Buck) of Chelsea FC is asking clubs to stump up 250k apiece to bankroll the cunt’s mink-lined retirement plan.

This comes at a time when many lower league clubs struggle to survive financially. At a time when PL clubs regularly maintain that budgets are planned well in advance, and that there’s little surplus cash around from telly rights deals, the most recent bringing in the paltry sum of just 5.14bill. Supporters seem unimpressed. Fans are continually pissed about by fixture changes to suit the said deal, and are said to be ‘strongly opposed’ that clubs might contribute to line an already wealthy cunt’s pockets.

During my working life my ‘reward’ from my employers was my salary. That was it as far as they were concerned. Upon retirement I got a card and some gifts paid for by my colleagues. Scuntamore has been very well paid over the years,so why a fat farewell payoff as well? To my way of thinking, this is a classic case of a bunch of rich cunts looking after one of their own.

Scuntamore has played a large part in turning the beautiful game into the stinking loadsamoney pig trough we know and love today. Of course, he might play the white man and donate the cash to aid development of grassroots football, or perhaps to MacMillan Cancer Support, in which case I’ll be the first to shout ‘well done’ and applaud. I’ll wait until I see it. If he trousers it, I’ll organise another whipround myself via IsAC. There’s just one problem. I’ve got a large box but no dog. Will someone be able to provide a very large and rancid dog turd?

Nominated by Ron Knee

(It took me three attempts to create this post. Thanks shit WiFi!)

Polly Toynbee [6]

Posted on by

I was watching Politics Live today (23/10/18), and who should pop up? That insufferably arrogant far left fuckwit, Polly Toynbee. Andrew Neil did a good job of showing her up as the hypocritical cunt we all know her to be. The subject was Brexit (what else?) and the Losers Vote. Toynbee, unsurprisingly, was singing its praises, when Brillo reminded her of something she said last year, which was, “never try another referendum”. Her response to this reminder? “Well, except possibly this one”.

Clearly, she’s convinced that a loser’s referendum would suddenly swing in favour of Remain, and all those traitors can finally stop whingeing and acting like spoilt three year old girls, because it would mean that they have won and Brexit had been consigned to the political bin. Along with democracy. The problem that Toynbee and all the other sad twats calling for a second referendum have, is that their dream of reversing Brexit through a completely undemocratic second referendum is more of a cocaine induced hallucination.

Besides, every honest poll that I’ve seen has not only shown that Leave would win again, but it would win by an even greater margin than in 2016. So what would happen if they if get their Loser’s Vote, and the people again vote to Leave the EU by an even greater percentage? Will the Remoan whingers accept that result and finally shut the fuck up? No, of course they won’t. They’ll stamp their feet, scream and shout, and demand a THIRD referendum. Motherfuckers like Toynbee despise the UK and the British people, and want to see our country turned into an irrelevant province in an unelected, unwanted, anti-democratic, totalitarian new country called The European Union.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. If scum like Toynbee love the EU so much, why don’t they fuck off to an EU country of their choice and live happily ever in their Socialist Utopia? That’s easy to answer. It’s not enough for them to be miserable, arrogant, left wing dick lickers, who want to spend the rest of their lives as slaves to an unelected group of foreigners, they want the rest of us to be miserable cunts too. Well fuck that. Life’s too short to be like Toynbee. I want to be happy.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

Emile Ratelband

Posted on by

Emile Ratelband. You may have heard his name recently as the old cunt wanted to legally change his age from 69 to 49 because he can’t get a date on tinder.

This guy is the epitomy of cunt, he is a ‘positivity trainer’ and says doctors have told him he has the body of someone in their 40’s. And that if he could be 49 instead of 69, with a face like his (his own words), he’d be in a ‘luxurious position’.

Thankfully, a court told him to get fucked as there would be serious legal ramifications if people could just change their age. Which, Mr positive thinks is discrimination.

I myself has always fancied becoming a bear. Sleep through the winter, eat lots of salmon, live a predominantly secluded life, wonder if I can legally change my species to bear? On the grounds of this clown and other LGBT cunts, if you don’t let me, you’re bearist.

Nominated by elboobio

TV With No Sound

Posted on by

A friend and I recently went for a snack in a nice little place in Crouch End.

It was great coffee and cake, but the experience was somewhat spoiled by the fact that my attention was constantly drawn to a large telly screen above the door. This was showing what appeared to be a lecture to a small group by that arsehole Gordon Ramsay. It was difficult to know what exactly was going on because there was no sound; in one sense a relief, because noisy distraction when eating out is a constant pain in the arse.

But I’m always puzzled as to what end proprietors of cafes, bars and restaurants feel is served by displaying a picture with no sound. Now fair enough; if there’s a football or cricket match on, you can see the score at top left and follow the play without the blessing(??) of commentary. But what in the name of fuck is the point of displaying a picture of (say) a film, or a music channel, without the sound? It’s just a completely irritating cunt.

On the way out, sheer curiosity compelled me to ask ‘the barista’ why the place was following this odd and annoying practice, to which I received the reply ‘boss say play picture’. I suspect that’s the closest I’ll ever get to a rational explanation on the matter. In the scheme of things it’s a minor cunt, but it’s a cunt all the same.

Nominated by Ron Knee

Philanthropy

Posted on by

Philanthropy. My argument in a nutshell; a philanderer plays about with women. A philanthropist plays about with money.

George Soros played the market Black Wednesday. Made a billion dollars in a single day. Then gave a lot away. Was he embarrased? I suppose it’s a sort of redemption redeeming your investments and giving the money to what you consider good causes.

Warren Buffett gives his money aways as well. But he has a way of doing it so nonchalantly. He gave billions to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation without any stipulations. He didn’t seem to care.

And (by the way) isn’t there something obscene about one immensely rich man giving another immensely rich man immense amounts of money. Monopoly money.

Nominated by Miles Plastic