Inconsiderate flatmates

I’d like to nominate one of my university flatmates for a cunting. I won’t name him because :
1. it would be distasteful, and
2. it might lead to him or someone he knows discovering my little rant on here.

He’s a right fucking asshole. Always shouts REALLY LOUDLY whenever he’s on the phone, makes no attempts to control the noise level of his mates whenever he invites them round (anyone who knows me personally knows I find a situation like that rather frightening) and on top of that he always leaves the kitchen a mess and only cleans it when one of the rest of us (usually me because I’ve sort of taken on the mantle of enforcer with that kind of stuff) tells him to.

Oh, and he never takes any responsibility either – he usually just acknowledges the problem, addresses it when I tell him to then goes right back to the same behaviour all over again, sometimes whilst deflecting and blaming ME for stuff I haven’t done and occasionally even lying to try and avoid being called out on it. I’ve just had yet another go at him and forced him to clean the kitchen again after once again he forgot to do it, and I’ve made it clear in no uncertain terms that if he doesn’t address this cuntish behaviour I WILL get Accommodation to move him to another flat – it would devastate him but it’s his own damn fault.

What a cunt.

Nominated by OpinionatedCunt

Overuse of the word ‘Artisan’

I would like to cunt the excessive use of the word “Artisan”.
Every cunt with a beard and gelled hair who starts a small business sneaks that fucking word into his advertising.
Sandwich Artisans
Carpentry Artisans
Bricklaying Artisans
Pot-making Artisans
Coffee Artisans
Signwriting Artisans
A mate lent me a copy of the new custom motorcycle magazine “Built” which is full to the brim with beardy check shirt wearing hipster cunts happily chopping up nice 1970s bikes into cut down knobbly-tyred matt-blacked exhaust-bandaged mutants that, in a few years time when the fad ends, will be worth fuck all except as spare parts. The dopey cunts will then probably have to pay someone like myself to restore them back to original, at great expense (I’ll make sure of that).
And if one of them refers to ME as an “artisan”, I’ll drown the cunt in his own hair products.
Utter bollocks all of it. Artisans my arse…

Nominated by Mr Bastard

The Modern Man at the Bar

Modern man at the bar

Took the mrs out last night to see some stand up and went for a post gig drink. There was a cunto (the collective noun for a group of men with sleeve tattoos and wanky haircuts) at the bar in front of me. No problem a quick order of five scoops and the cunto will be out of my way. But no one by one each of these twats ordered one beer for themselves and paid for it by card. Get a fucking round in you wankers. You are supposed to be mates but this behaviour just left me shaking my head. Left in disgust, went to another nearby pub, saw a middle aged colleague at the bar who just asked without hesitation what you having? He bought the mrs one as well. I of course returned the favour and we move on. Modern man at the bar get a fucking grip, get your cash out and buy a fucking round for your so called mates. They may then just do the same for you.

Nominated by Cuntsince1066

Simone O’Brion

A major cunting for Simone O’Broin, a supposed lawyer who went into a drunken rant on a flight from Mumbai to London, swearing and threatening the cabin crew because they would not give her more wine. The silly slag was arrested at Heathrow, not sure what’s happened since. Google it and see for yourself.

Nominated by Mystic Maven

Dominic Grieve MP [4]

Dominic Grieve M.P.

A Blair-sized cunting fit for a queen please for this odious, oleaginous slimy heap of shit Dominic Charles Roberts Grieve, QC , aged 62 but with the body of a man of 95, and the truculent mind of a 12 year old girl.

Dom – or may I call him Charlie (and why *Robert* in the plural? – if it was Richard, then two dicks would be appropriate). Anyway Charlie, former Solicitor General (and no doubt pissed off his career has since sunk without trace thank god, has, poisonous toad that he is, made it impossible to get a No Deal Brexit, and has ingratiated himself so well with the remoaners even pansy Labour members are quite happy to lick his arse.

Beaconsfield Conservative Party should tell the inept old cunt to fuck off out of parliament, get his wig out again and go and suck the dicks of the High Court judges where his ugy face won’t have to be seen daily in the papers and TV. What a motherfucker this senile old fool is.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs