Monthly Archives: March 2016

Santander

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I’d like to nominate SANTANDER for a good cunting.

When you ring their poxy ‘Customer Service’ all available cunts are unavailable because they’re speaking to other cunts. If you finally manage to get through, it’s to some cunt called Jim in Glasgow or Sophie in Sheffield or Stacy in Bootle as we give a fuck where you are you patronising cunts.

Then of course the cunt can never help you, and they put you through to some other useless cunt who asks all the same bloody questions that the first cunt asked you. If you want to complain, they put you through to the complaints department where you have to wait on hold for over 20 minutes like the cunt you are for banking with these cunts.

Nominated by: Bankfucker

Peter Gabriel and Sting

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Peter gabriel and Sting are a couple of cunts!

The thick as a brick cunts are at it again but this time the bellends are gonna tour together for some easy money. The last thing people want to hear is Gabriel’s “Biko” we all know anti-apartheid is a huge lie cause Africa is worse then ever under black rule. Plus only chavs and poofs want to hear Sting’s “Desert Rose” for the thousandth time.

Peter Gabriel’s WOMAD festival is the dumbest piece of shite that he’s ever done and proves Gabriel has turned into a world music cuckold. Stop being a bloody bellend Peter and reform Genesis! at best you got 10 decent solo songs the rest is dog shit that no one wants to hear.

Also, Sting, apologise to your band members from Police. You’re not the genius you think you are your solo work is also shite. I hope the Rock Paper Scissors Tour is a huge failure and you both fall off the stage!

Nominated by: Titslapper

Dead Pool [34]

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Congratulations go to Fred West who bags his third Dead Pool win by predicting the death os music producer George Martin, the man most famous for producing the Beatles – although he did loads of other stuff too until his studio in Montserrat was buried under a volcanic eruption (a most impressive sight, incidentally)…

So the slate has been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick a new ‘dead cunt walking’ as we move on to The Dead Pool 34.

A reminder of the rules (especially the first one):

1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices.
List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored. Please wait for the reset when a pool is won and we move on. That way, we all know where we are!

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

3. It helps admin if you nominate one name per line, no numbers in front or comments afterwards. Comment what you like after your five names! A request – not a hard and fast rule – but it speeds up the list making if we can do a straight cut and paste to a spreadsheet.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

The Perpetually Offended

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The Perpetually Offended deserve a severe cunting.

I don’t know if these cunts have always been with us, but they seem to be fucking everywhere at the moment. Every-fucking-thing from the smallest council decision to foreign policy is evidence of “racism” or “Islamophobia” or “somethingism.” The latest shit these cretins are complaining about is that asking people to wear wristbands is equivalent to Nazi bloody Germany. Aaaaargh!!!!

When I was on a cruise, I had to wear a lanyard with an ID card so I could be charged for drinks,etc.

When I was looking at booking a weekend at Centerparcs, I noticed you can wear a cashless wristband.

In most campsites in Australia, you have to wear a wristband so only paying guests can use the swimming pool and other facilities.

Did I complain about any of this? No. Perhaps I should have contacted some shyster lawyer to whine about my human rights being violated.

I’m pretty fucking sure that some cunts only read the news so they can be offended by something. If you go looking for “racism” or “Islamo-cunting-phobia” you will always find it, whether it exists or not.

I sometimes feel my mind falling into a bottomless pit of despair and hopelessness.

Nominated by: Cunt’s Mate Cunt