I’d like to nominate SANTANDER for a good cunting.

When you ring their poxy ‘Customer Service’ all available cunts are unavailable because they’re speaking to other cunts. If you finally manage to get through, it’s to some cunt called Jim in Glasgow or Sophie in Sheffield or Stacy in Bootle as we give a fuck where you are you patronising cunts.

Then of course the cunt can never help you, and they put you through to some other useless cunt who asks all the same bloody questions that the first cunt asked you. If you want to complain, they put you through to the complaints department where you have to wait on hold for over 20 minutes like the cunt you are for banking with these cunts.

Nominated by: Bankfucker

9 thoughts on “Santander

  1. Worse still is the letter that says your saver account interest is dropping from 1.1% to 0.75%, greedy cunts.

  2. if you think Santander are cunts you obviously have never had the Lloyds bank experience,they are the ultimate in lying, thieving, bullshitting, unhelpfull, inconciderate cunts that you will ever have the misfortune of getting lumbered with and this dosnt just include the bank account,black horse credit cards,mortgage car insurance,savings in fact anything to do with the cunts is horse shit[very apt]….these cunts made sure my finances were fucked for about 6 years,they are utter wankers and when you need to get them on the phone you end up speaking to fresh pesh from Bangladesh so Santander seem like the lesser of two evils to me they like all other banks are just plain and simple money grabbing cunts

    • The wife had no end of shit from Lloyds.

      They would rinse her account every month with the direct debits for their own products on the last day of the month. Even though she told them time and time again that she didn’t get paid until the first of the month.

      So every month the greedy cunts would send out three letters informing her that she had gone overdrawn. Each letter costing £30.

      She did inform them that she wasn’t overdrawn because there was money in her savings account and as the two were linked, they could take the direct debits out of that if there wasn’t enough in the current account. Or just do as she asked and take them on the first of the month.

      To cut a long story short. ‘Computer says no, you have to cancel the direct debits and reapply for them to be taken out on the first of the month and we can’t take funds out of your other accounts with us’.

      End result: Lloyds told to fuck right off and shove their products up their thieving arseholes.

      No wonder they are in a world of pain, they are a bunch of clueless cunts who treat their customers like cash cows.

  3. I love the guys in the photo with their “how not to use a step ladder” demo, mind you the the use of a fat cunt as a ladder foot stay is novel.

  4. Dear Mr Dioclese. Can you fix it for me to ‘Cunt’ Weevils.
    Found some in an old-ish bag of flower in the kitchen. The Fleawife sieved a few out and offered them for my inspection. ”Pick one” she sais. ”I’ll have the little one” sais I. ”Aha”, she retorts ”I see you’ve gone for the lesser of two weevils”
    Fucking weevils. I hate the cunts.

  5. Sadly the entire bunch of banks are equally incompetent.
    Only last week I went in to pay a large bill via BACS only to be told that I needed extra ID for that transfer. I thought I’d go with the flow and asked instead to take out the same amount in cash from two different accounts.
    Guess what – I could do that with no difficulty at all and asked them to brown envelope it and I’d pay the contractors in cash, only to be advised that it wasn’t a very safe way of doing it!?!?!
    They keeled over after I’d cajoled, humiliated and threatened them and did it via BACS.
    The final fucking straw was when I asked them to stop those bloody customer satisfaction calls you get every time you’ve been in. You know what’s coming I suppose – ‘could you tell us your phone number please’ (?!?!?!?).
    Complete and utter cunts. Fuck them

  6. the only saving grace is the banks are now fucked through no fault of anyone else…..the fucking gray train has stopped cunts so all bankers get off and fucking walk…..cunts

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