Jamie Oliver [7]

Jamie Oliver

There are far too many of these tv cooks producing a lot of poncified shite using ingredients from their “store cupboard” or from a “delightful artisan” supplier who at least is bright enough to rip the pretentious shits off.

Led by King of the Cooking Cunts, Jamie Oliver, they should all be halal butchered before being turned into organic dog food, although save me Oliver’s tongue! It should feed a family of starving Ethiopians for a month, if they can scrape the slavver off it.

Nominated by: Dick Fiddler

Jamie Oliver [5]

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This cunt is currently all over the media because he has introduced a 10p ‘tax’ on sugary drinks in his restaurant, Hang on, since when did Jamie Oliver become the Chancellor Of The Exchequer? How is he possibly able to introduce a ‘tax’?

He has put up his prices, that is all.

And as we all know, the tax on cigarettes, alcohol & petrol has made fuck all difference even though it increases more than inflation every year.

It appears the fat Essex toad-faced cunt cannot get a TV series commissioned, so he dreams up this altruistic idea to make him look like a good guy, when all he has done is increase his fucking prices.

What a monumental fat, speech impaired, anorexic fucking, greasy cunt.

Nominated by: Boaby

His restaurants are shite. Crap food with shite service. I speak from some experience.

And his ‘Jamies Cafe’ at Gatwick is a joke. Burnt bacon, cold eggs. A sausage sandwich with no sausage in one side and what tasted like minge in the other.

I shall not be returning to your vile outlets Mr Oliver. You are a crap food serving, fat tongued, pretend cockney ponce. And a massive cunt to boot.

Nominated by: Fleaboy

Jamie Oliver [3]

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Jameeee fookin Oliver is an industrial-strength, weapons-grade cunt of the first order.

Just seeing the fat-tongued spastic sends me into fits of murderous rage, but hearing his cheeking fuckin chappy, mock cockney self-righteous bollox about turkey twizzlers and olive fucking oil makes me want to set fire to the cunt.

Calling his children Tinkerbell and Rumpelstiltskin would have been better than Buddy fucking Bear and Daisy Boo. I can’t remember what the twat called his other spawn, but being cursed with the surname Oliver and having that cunt for a father is enough to wreck anyone’s future. Except it won’t in their case, because as soon as they can operate a Kenwood Chef, monkey boy will lever them into one of his omnipresent shows and more talentless twats who were in the right place at the right time will spend decades pontificating about shit and get paid shedloads for it.

The world has gone fucking mad to let this fucker breathe, let alone breed.

Nominated by : Gordon Ramsey

(And his Italian restaurant in Cambridge is fuckin’ shite too! Ed.)