Jamie Oliver [8]

I would like to nominate Jamie Oliver for the umpteenth time. Yet again he is slavering shite about the childhood obesity problem, claiming it is now the cartoon characters on the boxes fault. I’m sorry, but when I was growing up I enjoyed a bowl of frosties as much as the next guy as well as the occasional treat of a takeaway, chocolate bar etc. and guess what I was never a fat child, I also was out burning off those excess calories playing for hours on end.

If all his other stunts haven’t worked, you’d think the message would sink through his thick, lispy cunted, fake cockney geezer skull that the kids that are obese would eat this stuff even if it came in the plainest of boxes. That they get takeaways almost every night and have snowflake parents too scared to let them outside to play, so would rather park them in front of a computer.
This is the real problem. Activity is not encouraged, but would involve the government actively doing something to help and smug cunts like Oliver not getting another 5 minutes of the limelight. CUNT!

Nominated by McCunterson

Jamie the mockney cockney – don’t believe it for a fucking cotton pickin’ minute. This posh fuck obviously overheard some local kids say “pukka” as he passed them in his mummy’s Range Rover some years back and tried to sell himself as some kind of everyman. His disgusting oversized wet lip makes me puke and his latest show, some “lets make simple food fast” actually makes a cunt of the very folk he tries to make out he feels for.

”Just grab some choritzo and dried seaweed from your fridge and add a bit of olive oil and Chinese fucking vinegar and puma’s scrotum and tarra !! delicious pretentious cunt food , ….you’re welcome”


Nominated by Squint Cuntwood

52 thoughts on “Jamie Oliver [8]

  1. Excellent cunting.

    This fat-tongued, mockney pantstain fails to admit that the food served up in his dwindling chain of restaurants, along with many of his recipes, contain high levels of sugar.

    This contrary position saw him as a vociferous campaigner against sugar in fizzy drinks, which undoubtedly influenced the government’s position on the sugar tax. Pity this cunt didn’t spare a thought for the T1 diabetics, like my wife, that relied on Lucozade to balance blood sugar levels. Lucozade is now no better than standard Coca Cola.

    May I sum up that the cunt deserves no less than a generous blob of his own homemade, fiery Arrabiata down his japseye.

  2. I’m sorry but any cunt who names his kids:
    Petal Blossom
    Buddy Bear
    Daisy Boo
    Poppy Honey. and
    River Rocket
    needs to be strung up, flobbed on, pissed on, shat on and beaten to death with a shovel. Wanker.

      • Should be charged with child abuse. Kids must go to a very select school ,remember the school I went to. One kid called Eric used to get much stick because of his name, fuck me some twat called River Rocket would have been hounded to the nether regions of hell every time they set foot in the building. Do you think the mockney cockney took cunt lessons as well as cooking lessons?

    • What ridiculous names. They sound like characters out of Rupert the fucking Bear. What drugs were they on I wonder.

      • The kids or the parents?

        The kids will definitely need to be on drugs when they grow up and find out who their parents are.

      • Or sex toys…River Rocket ?? (squirting, golden showers/blessings ?) Answers on the back of a postcard to Lord HallHall, Jimmy Savile House.

        Give a child a cuntish name, and it’s destined for a life in “reality tv.”

    • His kids probably go to one of those Snowflake / Hippy Steiner Schools, Theres one in Brighton, The soft sods leave school without a fucking clue. The only way they can survive is if Mummy and Daddy leave them a big bung.

  3. I do think he’s an overall cunt for his mockney-ism as well as the rest of a full wrap sheet, but he did have a point with his Turkey Twizzler crusade. And the scenes of super-obese, scrunchied and hoop-earringed velour-tracksuit wearing ‘mothers’ smuggling e-number and fat and sugar ridden crap in through the school gates to ‘defy’ it made a very good argument for eugenics.

    • They had some good ideas.
      Getting the trains running on time was nice, bet a lot of people suffering a load of crappy timetable cuts and bus replacement services would welcome that.

      “This is a pasenger announcement: The Hogwarts Express Virgin Trains service to Rowlinginitsville, Sturgeon Cunty is running 5 hours late.
      Richard Branston will be gassed by public fart subscription on platform 9 3/4…”

      The timetables will be replaced with a pocket-size volume of Haikus penned specially by A. Cunt Grayling at a cost of 5 billion to the taxpayer.

  4. The good people of London really are missing a chance when it comes to Oliver. I can’t understand why some enterprising citizen doesn’t do his civic duty and run the Cunt down. Just think about it,everyone is terrified of these muggers on scooters..well, Jamie (supposedly) pops around town on a scooter. It would be very easy to mistake the flapping rubber lips, simian-level intelligence look in the eyes and almost unintelligible speech patterns for one of the dark coloured gentleman who are culturally enriching London with their wealth-sharing scheme…Hey Guys,remember to keep something back for Carnival,wouldn’t want you all stabbed out before that tea party kicks off.
    Anyhow,back to spacca-gob. No jury would ever convict someone who happened to make the mistake of knocking Oliver off his scooter,reversing over him,getting out to tip their battery contents over him and driving off.
    His wife looks a slack-lipped affair too. I don’t think that I’d fuck her unless she tightened herself up. That’ll teach her for marrying a spacca type and breeding a whole new batch of the Cunts.

    • Morning, Mr F…I was scrolling through the comments, becoming increasingly concerned that no-one had mentioned his simpering fuckwit of a wife. Five kids?! Jesus wept, she must have a fanny like a welly top. I’d be willing to bet that at least one of his kids is a naturally curly copper top too.

      • Good Morning, Mr. Cunt-Engine. I read that Jamie and his wife were “schoolyard sweethearts”…what a revolting image. I suppose she must have gone to Spacca Special School too.
        It fucking well shouldn’t be allowed.

      • I rather suspect that his children don’t have souls and therefore don’t cast a reflection in a mirror. I wonder if that’s true of all children who spring forth from a mong’s vagina? A “mongina”, if you will…

      • After 5 kids, I’d imagine that the last one just fell clean out. There’ll be nothing “springy” left down there. I wonder if they put a plastic sheet down when Jamie licks her out..between his excessive slobbering and her slimy snail-trail, I’d imagine it must be a pretty moist affair.. with his fishy fingers and her rancid kipper box, I bet it smells like Orca the killer whale’s corpse too.

      • DF, that is a truly…awesome image.

        Have you ever thought of producing porn ? Your talents would be much appreciated when we can get remote access to smells and dampness.

        Although Jamie & His Missus Through The Keyhole might not be a good place to start.

      • Perhaps a Diane and Jeremy (extra crispy)skin flick might be more commercial. Filmed in panorama view, an interracial porn film so filthy that even The Chuckle Brothers are left agog. Empty KFC buckets stained with the remains of Jeremy’s gravy and Diane’s batter,crushed under the gyrations of a multi-orgasmic Diane using Jeremy,head first,as some kind of bearded dildo.,plunging him in and out of that gaping maw of a loveshaft….
        Must stop now,I’ve got another matter which I must take in hand.

  5. He certainly looks as though he could have been born with Trisomy 21. It appears from a brief Google search that many have suggested this.

  6. Regularly gets his pile infested ringpiece licked by soul mate James O’Shithead, ’nuff said.

    • That sounds like the starting line up to the dinner party from hell, at least one would end up hanging in the smokehouse.

  7. The cunt tries to pretend that he’s one of the common folk when in reality he’s an elitist snob. What a wanker.

    • Well he is “common” with out a doubt. He may have money but like so many of his ilk has as much class as a dried out dog turd.
      Can he and his strangely named brood just fuck of to anywhere but here.

    • Aha! Someone who follows the money! Always a big tell. Have you ever interested yourself in Blair’s dealings? I would be grateful for your thoughts if you have.

  8. A cunt worth over £200m with a TV series called “Jamie’s Money Saving Meals.”
    Found that hard to swallow.
    Pukka cunt….

  9. Oliver ruined school dinners for me and others as a child. I used to look forward to my turkey twizzlers on a Thursday afternoon. Saying that, I managed to leave school before all this vegan shite began to plague the menu. Lucky escape.

  10. Brown suggesting Freedom of Movement much misunderstood, member states not prevented by EU from controlling immigration, “we could do it even now”…

    I’d almost forgotten how much I despise the cunt.

  11. Oliver is a flat-out, hyper-sonic cunt. He bleats on about taxing the bollocks off the foods which the working class enjoy/afford, stopping the deals that some families look forward to, and all the time sanctimoniously pushes Uruguayan pampas grass and Nepalese goats cheese as if your average Joe can pop to Premier to pick it up. How about he campaigns to reduce the prices of “healthy” foods? Instead of sitting back in one of his 4 mansions wanking into his pot of of money the cunt creams from the supermarket of uber-wankers, Sainsburys.

  12. I have had the experience of eating in one of Jamie’s Restaurants . It was a dismal affair, small portions ( thankfully ) of much fingered and played with food, that tasted like your typical 1950’s school dinner. A pretentious cunt? Certainly !

    • No doubt about it, the cunt is a scam artist.

      Btw, what’s the new avatar Asim?

      • Dick Fiddler made me very homesick the other day I’m afraid. So I found a flag of Northumbria purely for nostalgia’s sake.
        ( beats the fuck out of the helicopter anyway ! )

  13. Change of subject. Sorry.

    I’ve just been reading this story…

    Girl, nine, is in rehab after becoming so addicted to Fortnite video game she ‘wet herself to continue playing and hit her father in the face when he tried to take away her XBox’
    What really angered me was the Mother’s quote…’This is a serious issue which is destroying our little girl’s life and someone needs to step in to ban it before it becomes an epidemic.’

    How about that for not accepting parental responsibility? Let your brat of a kid sit all night playing some video game until it pissed itself,and then say that the game should be banned. Never mind banning the game,I’d ban pathetic people like them from having kids.
    Utter fucking Cunts. I hope that their child is taken into care and they are neutered.

    • The kid should get rid of the Xbox, clearly more suited to a Wii console…

      Turn the fucking thing off and go to bed.
      Tough love never hurt any kid.
      The parents are wankers….

    • Girl, nine, is in hospital after hitting her father in the face when he tried to take away her XBox’ (minus the xbox of course) would have been the story when I was growing up. Fucking unbeliebable … Hasn’t he got any balls – or did the brat’s mother chew them off?

  14. ” I truly am embarrassed being a Scot right now”

    Me too Padden , me too…..

  15. Sorry to go off topic, ( excellent cunting ), but I ‘ve just been watching video footage of the Tommy Robinson demo in London. The interesting thing to me was not just how the crowd had the cops on the run, but how they appeared to be somewhat disorganised and not totally committed , raises some interesting possibilities that I believe may bear fruit in the future. All is far from lost.
    Good afternoon.

  16. This complete silver spoon up his jacksy cunt obviously got the word ‘Pukka’ off Del Boy or Arfur Daley on the telly… No Londoner I’ve ever known has ever said it… Oliver is as fake as Bruce Jenner’s twat…. And he gives a fuck about the ordinary British people about as much as Maggie Thatcher did… ie: fuck all….

  17. And Gordon Ramsay is a fat beetroot headed obnoxious toilet gob colossal cunt and all….

    • But some of the cunts he deals with on tv are utter….cuuuuunts and twats (aka other useless wannabe cocks).

      It seems his father beat him a lot when he was a bairn. But we are never told why (apart from accusations of alcoholism). Maybe Ramsay junior was just an obnoxious little cunt ?

  18. Seeing that ugly slavering cunt’s face at the top of the page has, rather ironically, put me off eating anything for some considerable time.
    Perhaps he can sell himself as a diet plan.
    The utter, UTTER twat…

  19. Dear RP, please don’t feel any shame.

    It seems, up in Scotland, that the phrase “That bloody woman” no longer refers to Maggie Thatcher.

    If the Schottische Nazi-Partei crash and burn, I shall be moving to the Highlands

    nuff said.

  20. Slavering mockney wannabe luvvie cunt that Oliver is, and jumper on any available cooking-related bandwagon, there is a much bigger culprit here, the mastermind behind making kids fat, indolent and spatially unaware. It is as usual the fucking gummint.

    Started by Thatcher, the policy of selling off schools’ previously sacrosanct playing fields to developers was enthusiastically carried forward by Blair (no! Surely not Blair? He’d promised to stop it!….ok, classic Blair, then.) and every subsequent government, continuing today. With the wholly unpredictable result that organised games in schools – other than the private sector, and even in some cases that too – became history. Hence the growing trend to corpulence, the extinction of team spirit and the replacement of reality with addictive mindfucking electronic games which require no contact with the harsh and dirty real world.

    My masters, we’re fucked.

    • Well remembered Komodo – selling off school fields was a huge cunt, ably assisted by libtards anti competitive sports philosophy… and by extension anti competition in the real world. Hence Blair, hence mediocrity, hence snowflakery..

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