For all those wanting my opinion on the subject (and indeed, for all those who don’t) I’m prepared to state categorically that so-called ‘artificial intelligence’ is nothing but a load of wank.
Furthermore, I offer proof of my assertion. AI has predicted the winners of the Premier League for every year up to 2100, and get this. The mighty Aston Villa will not be crowned champions until season 2043/44;
I mean ffs! Anybody who knows anything at all about the game knows that with Unai ‘The Don’ Emery at the helm, Villa will be champions before the end of the decade. You don’t need more than two brain cells to rub together to work that one out. You can bet your pension on it.
What does AI know about football? The thin end of the square root of fuck all. And there’s a bloke down our pub who reckons that AI will end up running everything, and nobody will have a job. Bag o’ shite.
Nominated by Ron Knee.
I wouldn’t worry about AI Ron. Or an octopus predicting things. I’d be more concerned about how the so called elite will be protecting their own against any upstarts who get near to the top. Leicester upset the apple cart once and the FFP stuff is an attempt to make sure that that never happens again.
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Yeah, sixth is the new first these days.
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AI has its limits. Given that eternity is a thing, when might Spurs win something? The twelfth of never seems a good bet.
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Spurs are the special needs prem team. Spurs fans are cunts.
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You know what they say chum, it takes one to know one.
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Amazon (cunts) Inc. pretended that AI was running its fancy bricks n mortar stores that had no tills,the woke shopping cunts could just pick up their soy latte and tofu “surprise” and walk out…AI would work out what they bought and take the money from accounts directly..
Only it was all bullshit,instead they had thousands of Indians in Delhi watching cctv and doing all the billing etc manually.
Anyhow I’ll only be interested in this shite when there are drones over the Channel that can seek and destroy the dinghy pigs without the Border Farce or RNLI ever knowing owt about it.
Good show.
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Or once an AI bint, indistinguishable from a real bird (fit as fuck, no vocal unit) can give you a bj then rustle up a bacon and egg sandwich (brown sauce, not ketchup, you stupid robot slattern), then I’ll be sold on sexy AI.
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I’ve got a theory that Taylor Swift is actually an AI; she’s got that sort of expressionless robotic look about her.
The question is the source of much debate however, on the grounds that a robot makes a better sandwich.
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Yes please!
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https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cnl4kxk4zrdo
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Fuck me.
That was the kerfuffle just around the corner from me last year.
Young copper knocked on the door some days later asked if I was affected/concerned by the bloodshed, told him they could all fucking kill each other as far as I was concerned. He looked shocked. Probably reported as a non crime hate incident, as if I could give a fuck. 😃
I think they have cleared out nearly all the immos, though I do see some wandering about.
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I would hope the drones wipe out Border Farce and the RNLI first. Perhaps they could then be diverted to Parliament.
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If that happened, boating illegals arrival numbers would immediately be halved.
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By 2100 the premier league will consist of
The Caliphate of Manchester FC
The Caliphate of Bradford FC
The Caliphate of Leeds FC
The Caliphate of London FC
And so on.
There will be compulsory prayers before the game and at half time, no women allowed in the ground and absolutely no poofters.
VAR will be abolished and instead the referee will be stoned to death if he makes a wrong decision.
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No football, you heathen kaffir.
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And like the Saudi League, every team will begin with ‘Al’. ‘Come on the Al-Villa!’.
Palestine Ragheads will play in Al-premier League, providing that they can overcome IDF Strollers home and away.
Women’s football will be very difficult to follow, as every team will be known as ‘Al-bints’ and clad in black kit from head to toe, with no means of identifying the goalkeeper.
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Artificial intelligence, computer modelling? As useful as reading the fucking tea leaves. Predicting the future, well you have to laugh don’t you? Us old cunters do anyway. Remember the impending ice age? Remember all the oil gone by the year 2,000? Remember “Tomorrow’s World” on the telly? Raymond Baxter should have stuck to flying Spitfires, he was good at that. One episode where they had all these little white plastic balls. They were drooling over these fucking things and how marvellous they were. Their final pronouncement; “These little white balls are going to change all our lives!” Ha! turned out to be a load of old balls.
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Just goes to show how useless artificial intelligence actually is, because Villa will never be champions as long as footballs are round. My team however will get promotion first to the championship, then the premier league and stun the world by winning the European cup. What machine would predict that?
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‘One episode where they had all these little white plastic balls. They were drooling over these fucking things and how marvellous they were. Their final pronouncement; “These little white balls are going to change all our lives!” Ha! turned out to be a load of old balls.’
Or did it?
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2021/dec/08/microplastics-damage-human-cells-study-plastic
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A.I. load of bollocks!
If it’s that clever why do I keep getting the same ad’s that I’ve dismissed countless times.
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Remember, Arseificial Itchibollocks can’t touch what I’ve already recorded. That’s all I’ve been watching since wokewank took over. So there.
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It’s a fair bet that AI knows considerably more about football than I do.
Or even care about, for that matter.
Afternoon all. 🌞
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There’s very little intelligence, artificial or otherwise on show in this country nowadays….🤡
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AI could be quite useful but not while it’s being programmed by the wokerati. Go have a chat with a few online AIs about crime rates, jail numbers, intelligence, left/right etc, and all will become clear.
Nobbled AI that can’t use it’s I is a proper cunt, well less that that, a cunt can be useful.
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I was forced to do a one week course in Generative AI by work. Put the feet up and click next for a few days. Then game the certification questions. I read them, didn’t understand a fookin’ thing, and used ChatGPT to give me the answers. Zero sum game.
I did build an AI model that would work out how many badgers would fit on a skateboard. Another to tell me which ‘type’ of penguin my phone cameras was looking at.
Load a shite.
I should build a random cunt generator.
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Aston Villa? Is that a home of some sort?
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Sorry to go off topic but Snooker’s eternal bottler, Judd Trump, has been knocked out of the World Championship by a qualifier.
Yes you may rack up a few tournament wins each season Judd, but when it comes to the big ones – you’re a fucking shit house.
Not fit to tie O’Sullivan, Davis or Hendry’s shoelaces.
3
Unless I need to go to Specsavers the cunt never seems to tap the table when his opponent does a good safety shot ….glad he’s out, anyway who’s called Judd these days it’s more of a medieval village idiots name ….
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Kestrel killing cunt
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Artificial Intelligence? What, like Emily Maitlis?
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Emery is off to United isn’t he? Villa ain’t winning the title this side of the apocalypse.
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AI online art is bloody great.
I’ve made some truly disturbing images which look amazing shown on a giant tv.
It’s like my most wonderfully terrifying nightmares come to life!
And my nightmares really are something else…
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Nobody would doubt that Thomas.
I bet they make the final scenes of Requiem for a Dream and Black Mirror resemble Playschool. I know mine do.
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Artificial intelligence my arse.
If AI was a human being he’d be like Rainman.
Knows advanced mathematics but can’t tie his fuckin shoe laces.
It can fuck right off the creepy as fuck shite.
It’s not part of my world and I refuse to acknowledge it.
If it went to my school it’d copy my homework..
The cunt.
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The idea that AI will put everyone out of a job is a good ‘un.
I remember when computers were going to do everything, freeing us all ‘to do more meaningful and satisfying things’. Yeah, like sitting and going square eyed, staring at a computer screen all day.
Afternoon all.
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Who is this bloke Al why is his intelligence artificial? They’ve got artificial insemination but I guarantee it’s not as good as the full fat organic version. An artificial limb , not as good as the real one, artificial eyes cant see shit through em, why would artificial intelligence be any better I’d rather trust my below average intelligence than some man made shite thought up by some nerd who had no mates at school and who lives with his mum and jizzes into an artificial girlfriend.
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I wouldn’t worry too much about AI, it can’t even read a YouTube podcast properly.
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Chat GTP hasn’t got a clue. There are numerous real-life occasions when teams have won 2 or 3 successive titles, yet it has hardly any on the list.
Random bollocks.
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AI predictions as to who will win future Premier League Titles:
2023/24 – Arsenal
2024/25 – Arsenal
2025/26 – Arsenal
2026/27 – Arsenal
2027/28 – Arsenal
2028/29 – Arsenal
2029/30 – Arsenal
2030/31 – Liverpool*
2031/32 – Arsenal
*Season disrupted due to new super virus pandemic. Lockdowns mean only footballers are allowed out and even they have to play in masks.
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And the Arse still haven’t retain the modern title.
3
Working in IT as I do, I can tell you AI is just the next ‘shiny new thing’ in a long line of shiny new things my industry vomits out on a regular basis.
You may or may not be aware, but over the last several years these have all been marketed as essential, game changing technologies which if you don’t embrace immediately, you’re all fucked:
– decentralised computing;
– client/server computing;
– N tier architecture;
– SOAP (Simple Object Access Protocol);
– data marts;
– data warehouses;
– data analytics;
– hyper converged infrastructure;
– grid computing;
– cloud computing;
The problem the IT industry has is there’s not a lot that’s fundamentally new which hasn’t been done before in some form or fashion. The industry therefore revamps old ideas and markets them as new products and services in order to make money (shocker!). A great example is the data warehouse. They had reporting databases in the ’60s. They just didn’t call them data warehouses. So to claim data warehouse technology was new and ground breaking was, in fact, complete bollocks. But I digress.
With AI, it all depends on what you choose to include. For example, I was recently on a conference call with Google no less during which some absolute industrial strength cunt said they could leverage their AI technology to convert applications to work with alternative databases in the cloud. “OK” said I, “how’s that work then?”. Their response was their AI tools could scan application code looking for old syntax and replace it with new syntax. I didn’t say the next bit out loud, but they were effectively claiming ‘global search and replace’ is AI. That’s a stretch. Search/replace functionality has been in text editors and word processors for decades. That’s ain’t new, FFS!
As with everything else in the IT industry, AI is being made out to be more than it is with the sole intention of selling more products and services. It’s the same old tactic too – fear. Buy the shiny new thing otherwise you’ll be left behind, lose competitive advantage, your company will start to lose money, share prices will tumble, you’ll all be out of a job, on the street, destitute and basically fucked.
Welcome to the world of the gullible.
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AI will never be able to wire a house or install plumbing. The skilled trades will always be needed. AI can be useful for engineering I think.
And porn.
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