Jamie Oliver [5]


This cunt is currently all over the media because he has introduced a 10p ‘tax’ on sugary drinks in his restaurant, Hang on, since when did Jamie Oliver become the Chancellor Of The Exchequer? How is he possibly able to introduce a ‘tax’?

He has put up his prices, that is all.

And as we all know, the tax on cigarettes, alcohol & petrol has made fuck all difference even though it increases more than inflation every year.

It appears the fat Essex toad-faced cunt cannot get a TV series commissioned, so he dreams up this altruistic idea to make him look like a good guy, when all he has done is increase his fucking prices.

What a monumental fat, speech impaired, anorexic fucking, greasy cunt.

Nominated by: Boaby

His restaurants are shite. Crap food with shite service. I speak from some experience.

And his ‘Jamies Cafe’ at Gatwick is a joke. Burnt bacon, cold eggs. A sausage sandwich with no sausage in one side and what tasted like minge in the other.

I shall not be returning to your vile outlets Mr Oliver. You are a crap food serving, fat tongued, pretend cockney ponce. And a massive cunt to boot.

Nominated by: Fleaboy

33 thoughts on “Jamie Oliver [5]

  1. 10%tax, my arse. More like a nice little increase to this cunts fucking profits. I hope the HMRC do actually charge this cunt an extra 10% on his tax bill, that would serve the cunt right for sticking his fat nose into things that dont concern him.

  2. This just serves to showcase what an egotistical cunt Jamie Oliver is. As far as I was aware, chefs do not generally have the authority to levy taxes on the public (I believe he has since had this firmly explained to him by somebody much cleverer).

    Obviously not satisfied with his MBE, he’s clearly got his eye of the prize. What will be his next grand scheme? Introduce some new laws? Conscript his own para-military army of waiters to cattle prod andbody reaching for another helping of tiramisu (no tax on this suger-laden treat eh Jamie?).

    What this lisping puffer fish continually fails to realise is that everybody is sick and tired of being told what to fucking do, what to eat, what to say, etc… He’ll end up like Bono at this rate.

    He needs to stop grubbing for an OBE and get back in his fucking kitchin (although we could grant him a CBE – we all know what the ‘C’ stands for…).

  3. Yup! Good Cunting, but it’s not just him is it? The modern chef, in general, …is a Cunt.
    Snail porridge, Raw fish, a duo of this, a purée of that, raw fucking mince meat, fluid gel (WTF!), are they mainlining the Bi-Carb? It’s food you cunts. Food’s raison d’etre (CSE French Grade 6) purpose is to keep you firing on all cylinders, not for some Cunt to create a masterpiece that would have an art critic weeping with joy into his parfait’d be-purée’d smudge onna plate. Just fill the plate. Stodge is good, with gravy from preference Half a stone of mashed tatties and the other half roast will do me. I don’t want it blending to a mush, glazed with unsalted, de-watered yak butter and drizzled on to my plate with an infants paint bottle. Then pudding. Anything sponge with custard, by the pint if I can. And NO! burnt sugar delicately drizzled (there it is again; like a fucking bad day in Barnsley) onto an ice cold Carrera marble slab with a jade teaspoon and served, onna piece of slate -fuck me rigid!- and complimented with a scoop of virgins tit milk (go figure) ice cream topped with a light dusting of powdered glucose, it’s sugar you pompous cunts. Never been there, never going there. Just happy to be a sillyswine, sorry, a philistine; meh! probably right first time.

    Stodge chomping fat Cunt I might be, but I’m not a:

    Pretentious, self impotent (fuck off spell check), posing, bad tempered, foul mouthed, non hat wearing arse wipe of a modern chef.

    Cunts without exception, with a special cunting for the new chancellor of the exchequer up there. .

  4. The Essex Cunt is a prime candidate for the Palmolive factory,or failing that an art deco lampshade.

  5. If he’s that bothered about sugary drinks he could, you know, not fucking sell them in his restaurants.

  6. I was in the breakfast queue at a leisure centre and the chief chef cunt was dressed like a ninja, black kecks, black pumps, black shirt, black kerchief and a black headband to top off the imaginative ensemble. His minions referred to him as “CHEF!” when he spoke. He had an onion to cut up, in his leisure centre kitchen, somewhere in the Home Counties, possibly for a Cheddar cheese and Onion Sarnie; who knows. He took a cloth roll out of a polished wood box, unrolled same and selected a knife, examined knife, replaced knife and selected an alternative knife; not once, not twice, but thrice. My friend observed in a less than quiet voice: “It’s an onion you twat, just cut the fucking thing up!” CHEF then exhibited a black mood which went well with his togs. Sulky Cunt.

  7. Oliver doesn’t like sugary drinks, but he has no problem with killing live animals on TV and having convicted nonces work for him… What a cunt he really is…

    • I’ll second that. I thought he’d got away with it. But they’ve realized that his victim was white after all, so it looks like he’ll get what he deserves.

  8. If he was really trying to get people to cut down on sugary drinks, he’d stop selling them. The fact he instead chose to raise the price of those drinks, shows what a hypocritical, money grabbing cunt he is.

  9. Top cunting! My formative years were spent earning the weekly envelope in restaurant management. It wasn’t exactly hard graft. Recruiting bikini-clad girls straight off the beach at Burleigh Heads in order to give the local council oiks masturbation fodder as property developers grease their slimy hands to bypass regualtions and speed up construction of high-rise monstrosities.
    I dislike the term foodie and the associated movement. Raising it to the level of art makes a mockery of proper art and genuine artists.

  10. Bleeding heart do-gooders over ‘transgender criminals’ are cunts…
    The latest touchy-feely shite is ‘Are transgenders failed by the prison system?’
    Who gives a fuck? The tranny cunts shouldn’t break the fucking law if they don’t like the nick…. But I can see it now: soon there will be men’s prisons, women’s prisons and tranny prisons… And guess which one out of those three will get the best financial backing, facilities and treatment? They won’t have three trannies to a cell with one bucket to piss in…

  11. Only a weak minded cunt buys their porky kids drinks/food etc with a high sugar content anyhow, we don’t need this snake tongued cunt oliver getting the tax raised so everyone has too suffer, we need the banana iq’d parents to be far more strict when one of the little buggers wants a can of lilt and a mars bar ffs!

  12. Special individual mention must to go to that Red Sea Pedestrian: Heston Blumenthal proprietor of the Fat Fuck Road House and his “multi-sensory cooking” which twice (recorded) has included a side order of the vomiting virus; bet that got the old senses working overtime eh Hestie baby. The devious cunt managed to dodge the showers though. I wonder if Her Maj put a word in for the little (By Appointment) arse licker for services rendered? A good portion (there’s unfortunate) of the world goes short of food while this bald waste of space prospers. Hey-ho.

      • Ah, well i’m a newby so i’ll take that hint. Shame though, Rich and I liked out motybikes n watches and whilst I argued like fuck with titty about religion and he got personal I never take internet shit to heart and I don’t like to see peeps gone whether we agree or not unless they’re complete fucking liars or have the intellect of jordan, spice of life and all that, meh!

  13. King Cnut beat me too it,I detest that food poisoning,ex debt collector con artist cunt heston bloomingshite and his fucking blow torch and hydrogen tank thing….bet the cunt will be on this christmas making giant elfs out of chocolate and bum butter or sommat rank ,thunderbird looking cunt

  14. Yes indeed – for me, Oliver really is the cunt personified. He would be number 1 on my list of all time CUNTS.

  15. Jamie’s campaign for healthy food to be served in schools = One giant plug for his own food range, which tastes like soggy cardboard (and probably is).

  16. E’s owt but one enormous wankstain. Luvverly jubbly…just fack orf and drown yourself in it then, twatboy.

  17. “Jamie Oliver is a cunt” is the phrase that brought me here.
    That personal connection will afford me a wry smile the day I hear he’s had a horrific accident with hot fat.

  18. Alas I have to agree with this ! How many folk have eaten at ANY of his eateries and seen him there actually cooking? I have dined at many high profile celeb chefs from Ramsey to most recently Michel Roux… Oliver has never once been present from Cornwall to Bath and London whereas the other chefs have always graced me and my guests at their restaurants.
    He’s a fantastic business man and his marketing is obviosly driven by a tip top outfit…Crap cook doing nothing more than below par ‘student fodder’ .

  19. He,s a Total Cunt,
    Sugar Tax mogul no doubt knows fuck all about what he’s done , all that lisping retarded cunt has done is promote companies to use artificial sweeteners more that will totally fuck up kids and create more problems for the health service.

    All them fucking products with NO Added Sugar cheers you cunt, instead we got to be turned into ill fated fuckers that consume Aspartame.
    A top CUNTING for this wobbly lipped fuck that puts profit before health issues he spouts Bollucks. WHAT A TOTAL CUNT !

  20. Jamie is a prize cunt of that there is no doubt in my mind.However i have just read that he has promised to leave Great Britain should Boris become prime minister.
    In that case please oh please let Boris Johnson become PM so this mockney cunt leaves our shores for good.
    Fiji and many Pacific islands have extremely high cases of child obesity i believe so maybe he should head there with his sugar tax and hopefully he himself will end up simmering in a big pot.

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