Monarchy

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I’ve got nothing against Liz and her german brood personally but I’m sure they could be doing something more fulfilling and productive.

It’s not monarchies per se but other cunts copying the principle – Noth Korea (KIm Jong Il then Kim Jong Very Ill then Kim Jong Dead (thank you E. J. Thribbs – Private Eye) and the incumbent Kim Jong cunt, Syria, Unites States, various kelptocracies who really push the envelope.

I haven’t, yet, heard of Liz dispensing with the services of a footman or Lady in Waiting (who incur her displeasure) via a firing squad of anti-aircraft fire, but at pushing 90 she’s getting to alzheimer age territory so it may happen.

The hereditary accession to a position of responsibility without any checks for suitability or aptitude is frankly bollox. The UK has a shortage of doctors and maths teachers so why don’t we extend the principle of divine accession to the offspring of our current doctors and maths teachers and save on the 5 or 7 years or whatever it takes to qualify and just bung ’em straight in the hospitals and schools and see what results they achieve.

Nominated by: Mary Hinge-Frottom

Eastenders Plot-lines

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Dr Legg returns to open a 7 day a week surgery.

Lofty will return with a heroin addiction and it turns out his dealer is Nick Cotton.

Arthur returns with a pyramid scheme involving timeshares in Magaluf, he will do a runner with the money before shagging Mrs Hewitt.

Sanjay & Gita will return on Ramadan and open an ISIS stall on the market much to Tricky Dicky’s disgust.

Dot will complain to Mr Popadopoulous and the laundrette will be converted in to a European brothel run by James Willmot Brown, cue another rape storyline

The Tavernier’s will return from Norwich as the token black family.

And of course, some of the classic woofters will return. Colin & Barry will return from Brighton looking to adopt kids but be forced to as Dot Cotton to be the surrogate.

Only a bunch of cunts could write this stuff!

Nominated by: Boaby

Posted in BBC