Eating hotdogs shorten your life

Yes, a bunch of “experts” from the University of Michigan with nothing better to do with their time, have published a journal declaring among other things that eating a hotdog can shorten your life by “36 minutes” per dog.

In essence what they’re saying is that eating bad food is err… bad for your health, and that we should all eat healthy food!

Well fuck me, I never knew that!

But when you read further into the details, they’re pushing/suggesting/insinuating we should all go veggie/vegan for a healthier life and to save the planet etc etc.

And it still doesn’t explain how truly fat cunts are still alive into their 40s, 50s and 60s if they’ve spent most of their lives pigging out of junk food. Surely they should have died years ago based on their health calculator!?

Next time you have a Full English, you could be looking at anything up to 500 minutes shaved off your lifespan!

(I wonder how many minutes are shaved off your life for a good old solid wank?)

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Nominated by: Technocunt

(Nope: the header pic is NOT Diane Abbott on her day off! This is your actual pygmy hippo – Day Admin)

I have a reasonable recollection of a documentary I watched a couple of years ago. I will admit to watching it through to the end as the presenter was quite a cute Australian/Asian girl.

The crux of her film was the tracking down of the rare, possibly endangered, pygmy hippo, I assumed it was under threat and only her intervention would save it.

The programme involved her and her crew traveling over from Australia and spending weeks at a time in the ivory coast. It took place over two years and involved setting up the obligatory camera traps strapped to trees and assembling a rudimentary, humane, animal trap which had to be inspected by a local wildlife expert prior to it being used to ensure it was not going to injure or cause stress to the highly sensitive pygmy hippo.

Over the course of two years she managed to capture, on film, four images of pygmy hippos, two of which were very possibly the same animal.

Not having seen a follow up documentary I can only hope and pray that these three are still alive and even thriving. Or maybe they’re dead. I don’t feel I need to go over all the reasons that all this is fucking nonsense, much like tracking a family of turtles around the south Pacific on board a spy-grade yacht or spending weeks trying to catch a glimpse of a rare bird/insect/reptile and don’t get me started on the fucking panda and the fucking snow leopard.

Leave them alone you interfering lazy cunts and go and do something useful like put the kettle on.

Oh, and Attenborough, watching a group of animals gang up on, chase down, rip apart and devour is neither educational nor entertaining. It’s not the reality of anyone’s life other than those involved.

Nominated by: Keith Hall

One has to wonder how wearing a burqa, looking like a Poundshop dalek with ugly footwear encourages. Embracing diversity”?

Given the current situation, which any moron could see coming a mile away, that was a bit ill timed, Lily dear.

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Nominated by: Jeezum Priest

(We were tempted to bin this nom due to being only a couple of sentences (Point 3 of our nom rules). But we let it through purely for the stupidity of the bint in question – Day Admin)

Hmm Patrick Moore pic or ex-pornstar. The agony of choice. Plus the song is great.

How many times to we hear the phrase ‘we have to do more’, usually from left wing cunts and woke liberals.

Where do we start, Free school meals for the great unwashed, not content with the free meals during term time, we have to do more, make sure they get a lunch during the holidays.

In the great pandemic, the furlough scheme, rate relief, interest free loans, mortgage holidays, ban on evictions, was it enough, absolutely not ‘we have to do more’
Nothing is ever enough, why cant a politician on the left say ‘yes that is great’ without adding ‘but we need to do more’

Now we have Afghanistan, the shit show that has unfolded in a matter of day, ‘we will take in 20,000 including 5000 refugees this year, this on top of the 5 to 7 thousand who were working for or with the British forces’, Is it enough, is it fuck ‘we need to do more’

No we need to do fucking less, on the media today councils in the North East saying we can take families from Afghanistan, you thick cunts if you volunteer to take half a dozen the cunts in Westminster will demand a dozen.

The answer should be Fuck Off, if the you want refugees stick them in fucking Westminster.

We need to do less, the more you do the more will be demanded.

More is a Cunt!

Nominated by – Sick of it.

Oh for fucks sake you all cry. Here cunters is our own favourite special spacker, GRETA THUNBERG.

Why give this fucking waste of space publicity? Next thing you know E.R. are going to be playing up blocking roads and all sorts of life’s essential services  (MacDonald’s and K.F.C for our chav friends).

It’s about time the gloves came off for these loons and a plod type kicking was carried out in the spirit of the S.P.G.

Fuck it it’s Friday and I can feel the alcohol units needed tonight are climbing rapidly. CUNTS.

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Nominated by: CuntyMort