Eating hotdogs shorten your life
Yes, a bunch of “experts” from the University of Michigan with nothing better to do with their time, have published a journal declaring among other things that eating a hotdog can shorten your life by “36 minutes” per dog.
In essence what they’re saying is that eating bad food is err… bad for your health, and that we should all eat healthy food!
Well fuck me, I never knew that!
But when you read further into the details, they’re pushing/suggesting/insinuating we should all go veggie/vegan for a healthier life and to save the planet etc etc.
And it still doesn’t explain how truly fat cunts are still alive into their 40s, 50s and 60s if they’ve spent most of their lives pigging out of junk food. Surely they should have died years ago based on their health calculator!?
Next time you have a Full English, you could be looking at anything up to 500 minutes shaved off your lifespan!
(I wonder how many minutes are shaved off your life for a good old solid wank?)
Nominated by: Technocunt
Was the study paid for by Reeses?
2
I was thinking the same but kraft instead of reese peanut butter cups isn’t allergies to peanuts the most common?! according to this study fuck people with peanut allergies
I rarely eat hot dogs despite this weird study’s statistics I usually have a bratwurst/ smokie more meat less pink paste filler shit
3
Peanut butter and jelly (jam I believe) sandwiches add 33 minutes to your life?
Elvis lived on those and died on the bog at 42. Get fucked.
11
I’ve been eating exceptionally healthily recently, but I fucked it all up when I had my weekly wank last night. *Make that fortnightly. It’s all one step forward, two steps back, so why bother? We’re going to die anyway, no matter what we eat. Digesting food only delays the inevitable. If we stop eating now we’ll get there quicker. Ten million people in India can’t be wrong.
4
And Koreans eat Dogs hot. Does this shorten their life span the dirty cunts??
8
What about eating da poo poo?
I bet there’s a university study that says that’s really healthy.
4
Fuckin’ ell the only thing that got me up some mornings was the prospect of a Full English for a quid fifty in the site canteen at 10:30. Worked the cunt off by 1 o’clock and back in there for a fuck off lamb hotpot. geddin!… still built like a racing snake!
4
Who are they to judge?Wankstains
2
It’s nonsense.
How can anyone tell you how many minutes or seconds your life will be shortened by?
How do they know how long you might have lived without eating hot dogs?
And there are tens of thousands of different sausages of different quality used in hot dogs.
There is no universal hot dog.
Research papers like this are not even worth using as arse wipe.
6
I’ve done a study and that can be summarised as “Twats that waste time and money on stupid insignificant studies ARE FUBCKIN CUNTS”. At least my study was worthwhile exposing these wankers. However I’m still a cunt.
3
What about a capstan full strength baguette??
2