IsAC aficionados may possibly recall previous occasions when I’ve had a go at some ‘category’ of song which has pissed me off. I’ll have heard ‘Yesterday’ or ‘My Way’ on the radio, and gone off on one about ‘done to death’ songs. ‘Release Me’ will get me ranting about boring songs. ‘Honey’ or ‘Escape (the Pina fucking Colada Song)’ will start my motor running on the subject of nauseating or irritating songs.

Well today I added a new category to my ‘hate’ list collection; depressing songs. I was doing a bit of decorating in the kitchen, and an ‘oldies’ channel was belting them out; the Fabs, the Four Tops, Fleetwood Mac… great stuff. Then flaming arseholes, on came this right old pile of cunt; ‘in the year 6565 won’t need no husband won’t need no wife, pick your son and your daughter too, from the bottom of a long glass tube woe woe’.

Woe woe indeed. It was an effort called ‘In The Year 2525’ by a couple of cunts named Zager and Evans, which got to no.1 in 1969 I think. The wife, who was making coffee, did her Nan Taylor impersonation and opined “what a depressing load of old shit!”.

Indeed. Which begs the question, who forked out good money to listen to such a morbid sack of cack? Naturally this got us started on other miserablist tunes which have dampened our enthusiasm over the years. “Sinead O’Connor, ‘Nothing Compares 2 U’ ” said the wife. “Or what about Clapton’s ‘Tears In Heaven’, or ‘Famous Blue Raincoat’ by Leonard Cohen? In fact, just about anything by Leonard Cohen…”.

I quickly added ‘Alone Again (Naturally)’ from Gilbert O’Sullivan. Who could resist such inspiring lyrics as ‘I promise myself to treat myself and visit a nearby tower, and climbing to the top, will throw myself off…’. Or what about Michael Andrews’ heart-warming rendition of ‘Mad World’, you know, ‘the dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had’. Wasn’t that a Christmas no.1, along with that seasonally uplifting ditty ‘Another Brick In The Wall’ from Pink Floyd?

“Don’t forget The Verve’s ‘the drugs don’t work they just make you worse’ ” chimed in the missus again. “Oh, and ‘Mother Of Mine’ from that twat Neil Reid, and ‘I wasn’t there when my father passed away, I didn’t get to tell him all the things I had to say’. Mike and the bloody Mechanics”.

And on it went, listing all those songs which when played, can suck all the warmth and joy out of the sunniest summer day. I think we came up with enough choices to get us well on the way to a ‘Now That’s What I Call Depressing Music’ compilation.

So fellow cunters, if there’s a song which makes you want to lie in a warm bath and open a vein when you hear it, please feel free to add it to the collection. The more the merrier, and with a bit of luck, we could get it into the shops in time for Christmas…

Nominated by: Ron Knee

I nominate cow farts (demonization of).

No doubt everyone is aware that there is a war on meat and livestock being waged by the usual suspects of Extinction Rebellion, Animal Rebellion and various other militant vegan groups.

Their agenda is to ban the consumption of meat but they use the climate angle as justification.

Their argument goes that cow farts are mostly methane, methane is a potent greenhouse gas (the argument usually goes that it’s something like 1500 times more potent than CO2) and there are too many cows, so obviously we must stop eating meat and dairy products forthwith to ‘save the planet’. A secondary argument is that pasture raised meat consumes many resources that could be used growing more ‘sustainable’ crops.

Should you encounter one of these yoghurt knitters here are some counterpoints to use against this bullshit (pun intended).

Firstly, the Earth is very large. Take a look at Google Earth/Maps or preferably a free alternative in night mode. All cities combined take up a pretty insignificant amount of the total land area. The land is mostly covered with deserts, tundra, forests or grasslands. There are still vast grasslands, the African Savanah, the Russian and Mongolian Steppes, the American Prairies, Argentinian Pampas etc. By no means all of them converted to arable crops. So there’s plenty of unused grasslands on which to graze animals still, and this area is growing due to the global greening that’s happening thanks to the plant food that is carbon dioxide, the atmospheric concentration of which is increasing.

Ruminant animals have evolved and adapted to eat grass in a way humans haven’t. This is why there were historically millions of Bison on the North American prairies, and wildebeest on the African Savanah. We can eat some domesticated grass seeds, but even those can make us sick from maladaptation, e.g. from gluten in wheat. In reductionist terms a cow can be regarded as an automated machine for roaming grasslands converting grass, which we can’t eat, into concentrated fats and proteins that we can.

But what about the farts? A cows stomach is a miracle of evolution with multiple chambers specialized to extract the maximum nutrients from a dispersed, low nutrient density food. This miracle is achieved by bacterial colonies in the gut which ferment the ingested grass. A by product of the fermentation is methane, which is vented as farts. So what would happen if cows weren’t grazing on the grass, would there be less methane?

No.

Ultimately everything living dies off, grass being no exception. What happens to it if it’s not eaten? It decays on the ground by the action of bacteria, which produces methane. So whether its eaten by a cow or left to rot on the ground, some of its carbon gets turned into methane by bacteria. So what does it matter if the bacteria that eat it live on the ground or in a cows stomach if the result is the same? The difference is that in the latter case, we get milk, cheese, butter and steak into the bargain for the same amount of methane released.

As for the methane being such a potent greenhouse gas, it is rapidly oxidized in the atmosphere into, wait for it, carbon dioxide and the main greenhouse gas water vapour. So without cows the end result is the same amount of ‘greenhouse gases’ as with, except without the meat and dairy products.

Furthermore, the meat of pasture raised cattle has more nutrients by virtue of eating green grass. Certain vitamins for example are synthesized in their guts from the chlorophyll pigment in the grass, so their meat is better for you.

What if we turned the pasture over to arable crops though? Wouldn’t that use less resources and produce less methane? Nope, a grazing cow is a highly efficient machine for extracting and concentrating nutrients and energy from grass. If we used the land instead to grow something like soybeans, the cow farts would just be replaced by human farts.

So fire up the barbie and get grilling with a clear conscience. Maybe even throw a few vegans on it, the cunts.

Nominated by: Berkshire Huntmaster

Azeem Rafiq is a cunt.

Whilst I have sympathy for anyone who is oppressed, he is fucking loving his few seconds in the limelight and his lickspittle sycophantic wokers are creaming themselves to get their name associated with his plight.

Azeem has been racially abused, and that’s unacceptable, but context, perspective, equivalence and reason have all been omitted from this media shit-storm.

Btw, you’re either British and proud of it – or Pakistani and proud of it. Either is fine by me.

People who call themselves British-Pakistani are cunts.

Nominated by: Bob Collier

Supporting link provided by:Bertram Cuntatious DCO

BBC News Link

——————————————————————————————————————

And there’s this from Dick Foxchaser-Fiddler

I’ll add to this if I may.

Who knew that “Kevin” was a racist name?…..Daily Mail News Link

My Hound…. Gunga-Din,Punka Whalla,Uppity-Curry-Muncher has refused to comment unfortunately.

——————————————————————————————————————

And here’s another one, this time from Cuntybollocks

Azeem Rafiq

This is the recently retired cricketer who cried ‘wayciss’ (compo chasing?) at Yorkshire Cricket Club, for alleged comments made years ago by team mates. The one he threw under the bus was someone he went on joint family holidays with for years after the ‘abuse’. But never mind . The BBC have him down as a ‘trailblazer’ now on their website.

The Commons set up a committee so they can shake their heads, and give even more to these fuckers .He’s even been banging on now about how the players shouldn’t drink beer when celebrating, as it offends the peacefuls in the team. Wanker.

Yes, everyone is a racist. He’s gone from saying a few comments back in the day were a bit racist, to English cricket in general in institutionally racist.

If it’s not enough that we’ve have the knee bending and the cunts at Sky brow-beating cricket fans with this shit since George of the Holy Banana Sammich Floyd croaked, they’ll now never fucking shut up about this, until the entire sport in England is only played at the top level by dark keys and Joe Dakis presumably?

Well guess what?

Seems old Rafiq forgot about his own ‘institutional racism’. The one within Islam that blames everything on the four be twos. Although the BBC won’t say exactly what these comments are, unlike they were so fucking keen to when honkies were making alleged racist comments against him. They threw Michael Vaughan, their own employee, under the bus without any evidence apart from Rafiq’s say so. And yes, they were keen to ‘quote’ these unproven comments too, for added effect.

Rafiq makes them and they are proved to be true (they were on his Facebook account) and they won’t say what that were.

Well I’m going to assume he must want them all gassing then, BBC.

I’m glad this cunt has been stitched up now though.

Karma is a bitch.

BBC News Link

——————————————————————————————————————

And here’s one from Dark key cunt

Fucking seconded with cherries on the fucking top.

A dark key conflates his wife’s miscarriage with the fact that he was allegedly called a p@ki and then apologises for having abused y!ds. Fuck off you cunt.

A viking at my school (went to school with a Norwegian) kept calling me paki during my A-level years. I floored him. No abuse after that. Grow a pair and bully the bully. They’re always cunts.

I didn’t hit him in the face. I knuckled him the back. Collapsed like a jenga tower. We have been good friends ever since.

I am the Dark Key Cunt and you can thank me. Apart from Lord Fiddler, whom I thank for my existence, my Lord.

How sporting of Sky News to run the story – NA.