A special one forward gear and nine reverse cunting for thrice former Eyetie Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi.

After 85 years of humping anything with a minge and pulse you might think the old goat would settle for sucking a Werther’s Original (or Italian equivalent) instead of the usual Milanese slapper. But no, the ancient old cunt’s still at it, now ‘marrying’ (not really, just pretending) his 32 year-old bit of skirt.

Now I’d be the first to admit that she looks like she’s had more up the front bottom (and possibly the back) than Silvio’s had antipasti, but the point of this nomination is to express my utter admiration for the lucky old bastard. And I’m sure the fact he’s worth 5 billion has nothing to do with the bint saying ‘Si’.

So go for it, Silvio, keep your arse hair on your head. You’re an inspiration to all us old cunts for whom a lottery win is more likely than a leg over from a 32 year-old.

Grazie bunga bunga!

Daily Mail Link

Nominated by: Geordie Twatt

I must confess, my guilty pleasure is music. I’m an avid collector. Even better than listening to my established favourites is discovering new bands whose music I absolutely love. I recently discovered a couple of bands whose music I find quite exceptional. Black Swan Lane (album – Hide In View) and Desperate Journalist (album – Maximum Sorrow!). I also love the thrill of the chase, so to speak. Allow me to explain.

Back in the day, I’d spend hours in every record shop in town. Going through the racks looking for new interesting releases, bargains and ways to fill gaps in my collection. I miss those days. Our Price Records, HMV, Virgin Megastore, Tower Records plus WH Smiths, Boots, Woolworths and any number of local independent record shops. Happy days, but the internet age does have some compensations when it comes to making connections. For example, I love the late ’70s/early 80’s art pop/synth band Japan. Remember them? Well, their keyboard player was Richard Barbieri. I was wondering what he’d been up to since Japan broke up in ’82. Seems he played keys for a prog rock band called Porcupine Tree. I’d never heard of them, so I picked up their best of, Stars Die: The Delerium Years 1991–1997. It wasn’t bad, but the singer interested me. Steven Wilson. Porcupine Tree disbanded in 2010 (they reformed in 2021), so I wondered what else Steven Wilson had done since then. Quite a lot as it turned out. He’s made a number of solo albums, so I bought the cheapest one I could find. To The Bone. OMG!!! It is stunning. One particular track stands out because it is just so beautiful and moving. Pariah. Here’s a link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNTaFArEObU

The female vocalist is amazing. Ninet Tayeb. Her solo material is a cunt to get hold of, but I’m working on it. ? My point is, a bit of random day dreaming led me to make a connection, which lead to something else which lead me to an album which I now adore. What if I hadn’t been day dreaming that day? What other bands and albums will I never hear because I didn’t make a connection? Or didn’t know the guitarist in one band collaborated with the bassist from another band who put out an album together in the ’90s that I will never know even existed? You get the general idea. Aggghhhhh!

I hate that and it really bothers me. I just know that when my time comes, I will long to hear the albums I love and deeply regret all the wonderful albums I never heard and never will. And that’s a cunt.

Nominated by: Imitation Yank

This week, Prince Baldy and Princess Milf (Pilf?) have arrived in the Caribbean on a tour to celebrate Lizzie’s 70 years on the throne.

The locals have used this tour to start demanding reparations to the tune of 7.4 billion pounds (that would be just for starters, no doubt).

The demand is for to he fact we bought and sold loads of bananas and sugar that we purchased from black slave traders in the region centuries ago. Shouldn’t the families of the slave owners be the ones they moan at? Any chance that the few remaining Taino people (the original inhabitants of the Caribbean islands) are compensated by the Africans who were brought over or moved there? Slavery ended long ago. Aren’t they ‘colonising’ the land of others? Shouldn’t they now ‘go back home’ to Africa?

I’m sure Africa is a much more pleasant place to live than places like Antigua or Barbados.

And maybe I would agree to this payment, after they pay us first for the crime wave we’ve had to suffer from their lot since they came over. Or for the suffering in listening to the likes of Raheem fucking Sterling.

And they can wait until we get some money from Italy (Romans) and the French for past occupations, land grabs and slavery.

And once every fucking country in the world has signed up to a ‘Reparations Act’ and paid for all any any past wars/occupations, then maybe it will make sense (but probably not).

But it only matters of course, when whitey does it! Silly me, I almost forgot!

A local judge tore up his wig in protest at having to follow laws set up by the British this week. Maybe he’d prefer African style laws and necklacing cunts who ‘diss’ him or someone from his tribe? Go back to African justice then, you daft cunt.

William has now said, ‘A conversation needs to be had.’

Well, your family benefited more than anyone else, so lip it unless you’re prepared to give it all away to these grasping, shameless cunts. We’ll stick you and your family in a Peckham council flat and try and sort jobs for you at the local KFC or Aldi, don’t worry.

But maybe there is a solution. The conversation should go thus;

Gibsmedat: Me want money from whitey.

UK: You can have the money if you take all your lot back.

By jove, I think I’ve got it!

Reuters News Link

Nominated by: Cuntybollocks

We’ve all been there. Holding in a fart at work or when on a date. Maybe at a funeral. Or a job interview.

Well, it seems you should just let rip because holding in farts can put you in hospital. Some Brazilian ‘model’ (nice body but has tats so I’d rather have a wank) was too shy to parp in front of her boyfriend and ended up in hospital. Mind you, some birds might end up that way too if they fart in front of their man (if he’s a cunt).

I once held in a huge fart after scoring with an absolute fucking stunner in my younger years. Natural blonde, perfect body, really bonnie face. We ended up at her house after the club closed and got down to some serious foreplay on her sofa. She then led me to her bedroom and got into bed. I could’ve snapped bricks in half on me nob at that point. Anyway I had this massive fart building up and it was hurting (obviously didn’t tell her this). I asked where her loo was. She said next door. I soon realised the shitter had thin walls and was within a few feet of the headboard. I could hear her move in bed. I realised I couldn’t let it go and just flushed, washed my hands and got into bed.

But I was in so much pain by now that I couldn’t do it. I ended up leaving, telling her I was ill (sort of true). I got a taxi and by now needed a big shit too. I got home just in time. I let rip and it ended up being a massive silent one with no shite at all. I was devastated. But I bet if I’d tried to let it go at her house, it would’ve set off car alarms for miles around. She didn’t bother seeing me again when I called her a few days later, unsurprisingly.

Yes, having to hold in farts is a horrible thing, but having your lady let rip or even sell her farts (yes, the link includes some tart doing this too) isn’t ideal either.

Parp.

https://news.yahoo.com/brazilian-singer-hospitalized-refusing-fart-022821705.html

Nominated by Cuntybollocks

I am sure that that celeb Eliot Page (I cannot find her real first name) (which says a lot in itself) who was a woman and became a man would like to ‘grow a pair’. Have they injected her so she can one wonders…?

‘You should grow a pair of balls’. You hear that from men AND women. Mrs Plastic says it to me a lot when I invariably shrink from confrontation.

Caitlin Jenner has no balls. He’s had the ‘full surgery’. But he has metaphorical balls as it were when it comes to standing up against ‘gay marriage’ and transgender atheletes in women’s sport.

What am I cunting here? Transgender balls that’s it. Balls as bollocks. No bunkum I mean. Balls as bunkum, bullshit.

I have no doubt that ballsy Bruce (what a manly name) was speaking the truth when he said he felt like a woman on the inside all his life. I am not denying that.

A terrible thing to feel. That you’re in the wrong body. I suppose he wished and wished he was a woman but he was in a man’s body. But just because you fervently wish things to be so the wishing doesnt make it a reality. (A bit like heaven, then – NA)

This is from Hello Magazine-
‘Having undergone a nose job, breast augmentation, tracheal shave, jaw reshaping and beard removal as part of her transition, Caitlyn finally completed the process with gender reassignment surgery.’

So Bruce has ‘busted his balls’ so to speak to become a woman.
The last on theist is having his balls and cock chopped off.

He has had what is called ‘facial -feminisation surgery’ as well which involves- ‘procedures such as hairline correction, forehead contouring, and jaw and chin contouring’.

‘hairline correction’. But when God made him (as I would say) his male hairline was correct. ‘forehead contouring’ but when God made him (as I would say) his forehead was countoured for a male. .’jaw and chin contouring’. But when God made him (as I would say) his jaw and chin were perfectly ok for a male. What am I saying?

These terms really confess him to being a man having surgery to look like a woman.

Fuck this. What does it matter anyway if it makes him feel better in himself? I like the cunt for his stance against Wokery.

Oh, this turned not to be a cunting at all.

So the cunting is for those people that say people like Caitlyn Jenner are REAL women. And the consequeces of that in law.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-56960011
(Helpful link provided by Cuntstable Cuntbubble)

Nominated by: Miles Plastic