I’m sure you’ve seen the TV ads of a product that’s been around for ages, but now is even more wonderful thanks to “our new improved formula!” It could be for mundane household items such as washing up liquid, a carpet cleaner, a shampoo or even tea/coffee.

If you fall for this bollocks you’ll quickly realise the product returns the same results as before, but you’ll be paying a bit more for the privilege.

The perfect example of this tawdry form of advertising was for those Gillette razors back in the 90s – it started off with just 2 blades for a “close, long lasting shave”, and then some bright spark in their marketing department thought “hey, let’s add a 3rd blade!” And so they did and out came the advert for their new improved razor!

A couple of years later they added a fourth; and now it has five! Why not just go the whole hog and have 10 blades and save everyone the bother!

Don’t be conned by these new improved products – they’re just trying to sell you the same thing at a higher price for something that worked perfectly well in the past.

Youtube

Nominated by Technocunt.

 
Gone are the days of Lord ‘Soapy’ Soper on his Soapbox. He was very ‘wishy washy’ Lord Soapy. Apart from his fundamental Pacifism.

He always looked like he’d just returned from an ‘Aldermarston March’ with his hobnail boots on and dusty cassock.
I suppose back then you’d get people with a sign front and back ‘REPENT REPENT REPENT for the Day of the Lord is at Hand’.

But a lot of debate was about Nuclear Disarmament and Vietnam other subjects.
Now it is almost All religion. And one participant one; Islam. Many Muslim believers there, hundreds even. You could say Speaker’s Corner is thriving in that sense.
But how can I say it! The rules of debate are not really adhered to.

They’re always arguing ‘I will listen you if you will listen to me and same thing for the other. Sometime it turns into fisticuffs.

It all seems a long way from a gentle eccentric English carry on.

Back then-

Bbc news

Now

Youtube

Nominated by Miles Plastic.

An obese wheezing, grease-stained cunting for that Glaswegian delicacy, the munchy box.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Munchy_box

Are you a greedy fat cunt living on hand-outs?

Is one item of greasy, deep-fried muck no longer enough?

Do you desire an early death?

Look no further than the munchy box, the portable banquet designed by Glasgow’s finest epicures, food technicians and pest controllers, making it’s way across all grim, run-down towns and estates across the British Isles.

The munchy box (AKA shitbox to anybody whoes ever eaten anything green or from a butcher) offers the discerning council diner an array of deep-fried shit in a single grease-sodden pizza box.

Common items include doner meat, fresh from the elephant’s foot, chicken wings with no meat after being deep-fried, chips with cheese melted on them, a slice of pizza or perhaps a battered jumbo sausage, deep-fried macaroni cheese ‘bites’, deep-fried spicy chicken ‘goujons’, and perhaps a small tub of ‘dip’.
The Health fascists will be relieved that coleslaw is available in a small tub, even if that is made of mostly mayonnaise and salt

Members of the underclass may pay for their shitbox in installments, making sure their access to grease, salt, sugar and the occasional rat dropping isn’t hindered by the complete lack of earnings or waiting for dole money to drop into their account.

This is the closest you’ll ever get to experiencing Man vs Food as you’ll never be able to afford to visit America, but those in the know across the pond say yes, if we all wanted to die before 40 and live like the most wretched, toothless, gormless welfare recipients of the UK, we’d order the munchy box’.

The Munchy box. The taste of failure.

Nominated by : Cuntamus Prime

There has been a lot of talk recently about the dangers posed to the human race by artificial intelligence. Although it’s possible that machines may eventually take over from people, it’s unlikely to happen in the near future. The scientists say that 99% of all living species’ that have existed on Earth are now extinct, so why should anyone believe that human beings are nature’s ultimate creation and will always be the dominant lifeform? We are alive as a result of other species’ dying off so it would be fitting if we were responsible for creating the species that replaces us.

I don’t have a problem with this, in fact I see it as one more predictable example of natural selection. The benefits to the planet itself would be incalculable because decisions would be based upon logic rather than greed. For instance, wars are started by humans who are small in stature and are desperate to feel powerful, or who for decades have nurtured an irrational sense of entitlement. Can you imagine Italian machines saying ‘we don’t like these French machines, they’re a bunch of cunts, let’s wage war on them’? It’s called artificial intelligence, not artificial stupidity.

Everything considered, I think it would be a good thing. Unnecessary pollution would become a thing of the past, all known diseases would be eradicated except perhaps rust and metal fatigue, and their numbers wouldn’t be allowed to increase to unsustainable levels. Those of us panicking about their chances of survival can relax, it’s not going to happen in their lifetime. I wouldn’t care if it did.

Unfounded Fears Link.

Nominated by : Allan

As of August 1st 2023 most first and second class stamps (excluding commemorative stamps) will contain a barcode which must be kept with the stamp.

Why are they doing this?

“The move is part of the Company’s extensive and ongoing modernisation drive and will allow the unique barcodes to facilitate operational efficiencies, enable the introduction of added security features and pave the way for innovative services for customers.”

Bollocks. It’s so you won’t be able to send a turd in a parcel to your MP or MSP without them knowing where you bought the stamp, and from that they can work out when you bought it and the person that purchased it. Another nail in the coffin of our civil liberties.

https://www.royalmail.com/sending/barcoded-stamps

Nominated by : Anton Pillar