The Commonwealth Games

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The Commonwealth Games starts today. Wowza! Mrs D is having an eye operation this morning, so she won’t we able to watch the opening ceremony. Literally. Frankly, I almost envy her…

I am forced to reflect on another recent sporting occasion – the Open. You know, the one where arrogant rich bastards like Tiger Woods get paid huge amounts of money to hit a little white ball down a patch of grass and then tap it into a plastic cup with a stick.

This led me to think that perhaps both events should really be called the Coon and Wealth Games?

Nominated by: Dioclese

I advance cunt the Commonwealth games. All will know why a week after it starts.

Nominated by: King Cunt

Dead Pool [11]

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* * * * WE HAVE A WINNER! * * * *
Congratulations to Sir Limply Stoke who correctly guessed the next dead cunt would be American Spitfire Ace and inspiration for Steve McQueen’s character in the Great Escape, Bill Ash. Interesting bloke – you can read his obit here…

Here’s a picture of the dead cunt in full flying gear orf to frag off a few Nazi bastards.

So, Sir Limply, you get to join the esteemed club of Dead Pool champs. (No trophy. Sorry!) You do get a free post on a subject of your choice here and, if you want it, over at Dioclese as well. Not much of a prize so please yourself.

A richly deserved win as Limply also predicted Eli Wallach – but in the wrong dead pool

The slate has been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick a new ‘dead cunt walking’ as we move on to The Dead Pool 11. Here’s the rules :

1. Nominate who you think is next on the way out.
You can have a maximum of five cunts each this time around because, frankly, this one dragged on a bit! Leave names in the Comments.

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. The winner gets a dedicated Dead Pool Champion guest post on the subject of his/her choice and kudos of cuntishness aplenty. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

Esther McVey [2]

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For being a scouse tory.
The fucking worse kind. Like Edwina Currie with bells on.

Fair turns the stomach, engenders a gag reflex every time I hear her name. Pock marked and flyblown old carcass.

What a cunt.

Nominated by: Hurling Dervish

iFascism

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Apple IFascism – vastly overpriced chinko gear sold to iCunt tossers. Particularly pissed off by that strap line at the bottom orf their messages “sent from my iPhone”.

Who the fuck cares you juvenile wanker?

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Queues a mile long outside Apples stores all over the world because these they want the latest fucking iShit. FFS get a life!

Must confess a post on mine in similar vein!

Nominated by: Dioclese

( Written on my MacBookPro )

Lily Allen [2]

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Yep..that’s definitely a cunt!

Lily Allen is a talentless, tone deaf, ugly gobshite cunt…. When the silly bitch said she was ‘retiring’ from the music industry, I thought it was too good to be true….

Her freeloading, pisspot, professional celebrity, can’t act for shit dad is a cunt too…

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside

Now I’ve had a while to calm down and some sleeping tablets, I’d like to nominate a new breed of cunt that’s come to my attention.

It’s called Lilly Allen.

This cunt has no redeeming features, a singing voice like a pissed Dutch fisherman, and very probably, a fanny like a clowns pocket.

I had the misfortune to watch her at the smug/shit/crustie fest that is ‘Glasto’ this year and I really should be suing those cunts at the BBC/calling the noise Police for outright GBH to my earholes such is the toxicity levels of her tuneless yapping.

She obviously thinks she’s good in her own mind.

I have a differing view in that I’d rather hear a pile of freshly squeezed dogshit sing than listen to her.

Innit.

Nominated by: Anonymous