Dead Pool [28]

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* * * * WE HAVE A WINNER! * * * *
Congratulations to Richard Debo Debson for winning the 27th dead pool by predicting that 80 year old TOWIE nobody z-list non-celeb Patricia ‘Nanny Pat’ Brooker would be the next cunt to pop her clogs.

This makes Debo a first time visitor to the Dead Pool winners’ podium so well done Debo…

And may I just add that it was jolly considerate of the old cunt to hang on until Dio was back from his trip to the frozen north! Saves The Eye having to do any work 😉

So come on all you cunters! The slate is been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick a new ‘dead cunt walking’ as we move on to The Dead Pool 28. They’re still dropping like flies this time of year so there’s never been a better time to get your name on the slate!

Here’s the rules :

1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices.
List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored. Please wait for the reset when a pool is won and we move on. That way, we all know where we are!

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

3. It helps admin if you nominate one name per line, no numbers in front or comments afterwards. Comment what you like after your five names! A request – not a hard and fast rule – but it speeds up the list making if we can do a straight cut and paste to a spreadsheet.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

Romeo Beckham

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Romeo Beckham is a cunt (must run in the family)…

Because of who his parents are this little fucker is going to be a model… One of the ugliest kids in the world (he looks like his revolting mother), and he’s going to be a fucking model… Have you seen those teeth? Like a bomb going off in a graveyard…

Nominated by: Norman

The Zoo

all the zoo

Zoo’s are out of order and the cunts who go there are no better than the freak show visiting Victorian cunts.

How the fuck can you go and see a Lion in Bristol or London Zoo in the middlie of winter with the weather we get here? Do you think the Animals are happy there? Do you think the Animals look at the stupid cunts visiting them and think ‘oh look at these lovely people pointing at me and staring’? No, they are thinking ‘Your worse than the cunts who brought me here’ because if no cunt visited Zoo’s there wouldn’t be Zoo’s.

Nominated by: Black & White Cunt

Ant & Dec [2]

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I hate unfunny spackmo keith Lemon, i’d love to twat the cunt in the face with big bat with nails on it, then feed him Ant and Dec (also known as cunt and dick) then Lemon can shat out Ant and Dec, THEN use stupid unfunny cunt Lee Francis (aka Lemon) head as a shitty stick to poke Ant and Dic down the fucking skiddy toilet

Unfunny talentless cunts, only famous by being at the right place at the right time, i’d like a hungry lion to be released Live during ‘I’m a so-called Celebrity get me out of here’ and watch the lion rip out Ant and Decs fucking throats and rip off limps etc, yep, you guessed it, I FUCKING HATE THEM and the Ant and Dec overkill on TV

Nominated by: I hate Ant & Dec

Gap Year

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Its the gap yah cunts that piss me off.

Mummeh and Daddeh pay a small fortune for their irritating and clueless offspring to fuck off on an extended holiday. Said student arseholes then like to regale anyone who will listen about the ‘special’ time they had and the locals they ‘bonded’ with while living in a traditional mud and dung hut.

Right, lets get a couple of things straight.

First, the locals fucking hate you, you middle class irritating fucktard.
The Masai aren’t there to entertain you with their ‘traditional’ songs and pogo sessions.
It has been documented that what they are actually singing is “Give us your money and fuck off whitey”.

The animals are all largely fucking dangerous, this is why they are called ‘wild animals’. Only a complete fucking retard would actually want to go anywhere within clawing, biting or stomping distance of them. This is why the locals carry guns.

Third up is the exotic diseases that you’re going to come home with.

Shagging the local war chief’s daughter isn’t a mark of respect, she has AIDS. They want you to die.
You will also be bitten by at least one of the following: Tsetse fly (sleeping sickness, but to be honest nobody will notice for months because students normally sleep for 16 hours of the day).
Mosquito (malaria. Again nobody will really notice because the jaundiced look goes with all the chronic you spend Mummeh and Daddeh’s cash on).
Other parasitic infections (no, not other students) of the type that will see things bursting out of your skin.

Frankly, anyone who pays money to go anywhere near a shithole like Africa deserves all of the above….and a dose of Ebola as a warning to others.

Cunts.

Nominated by: Odin’s Balls