Banksy [3]

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I note that Banksy hasn’t been cunted for over two years and is back in the news making a cunt of himself again. Talk about a one trick pony and the arse has well and truly been torn out of the trick. Same old stencilled shite that looks exactly the same as the ten that preceded It, accompanied by a slogan of vaguely subversive lefty bolleaux. Which, of course, his army of simpering, clueless disciples lap up as though it were a proclamation from God himself.

If I woke up in the night and found Banksy vandalising my property, I’d stove the cunts head in, I’ll tell you cunts that for fuck all.

Nominated by Mecha-rigsby

Clare Balding [4]

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Clare ‘Bernard’ Balding has somehow transmogrified from being a merely annoying horse-loving sportscunt commentator, to an al-BBC monstrous box-ticking pet project used to champion the usual causes of Wimmin, Homos, and Fruits. But her cuntitude is far deeper than the sum of those shitty liberal parts.

Her shouty-cunty faux-startled delivery alone is usually enough to grind the gears of even the most transcendental Buddhist. However, she unbelievably took it up a further notch this week by forcing her ‘outrage’ upon viewers at the fair and just disqualification of dismal snowflake and Winter Olympic skating failure, Elise Crashtie. Quite what Bernard Balding was so exasperated about is beyond me – just commentate on the unfolding events and spare us your fucking shit-opinion, you shit-haired cunt.

In fact, therein lies the real cunt – similar to recent cunting analysis on newsreaders like Tom Bradby, Balding is a joint-honours graduate from the school of cunt presenters who need to BE the news as much as deliver it. Listening to the indignant rug-muncher bark away for this ‘just’ cause and practically tug herself into a stupor of over-indulgent whiteknighting was enough to consider whether my right fist could ram through the LCD TV screen unscathed.

I remember a few years ago half-watching the Lord Mayor’s parade on TV. Balding, not yet the national cunt-treasure she was destined to become, interviewed some little boy with trademark simpleton zeal and alarmist exclamation. Afterward, going back to Dimblebee in the commentary pod, he made this truly bizarre statement, spoken in all sincerity: “I suspect that little boy never imagined when he woke up today that he would end up getting a chance to talk to Clare Balding.”

I bet he fucking well didn’t, the poor bastard.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

A simple and brief cunting again for Clare as she is the embodiment of the abc and vice versa.

Her stupid Ray Mears lacquered hair, Desperate Dan chin, and that boxers neck carries more weight than that the fact that she clearly knows fuck all about any sport (still) outside of the posh horses. Lots of fake enthusiasm and nodding of the head when listening to our washed up athletes makes her a national treasure forever apparently.

Not content with taxpayers money tho.. casts her net to C4 and BT also. The grabbing cunt.

Nominated by Slinky Pinky

Paloma Faith [2]

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Paloma fucking Faith. Again.

This half baked, talent-free cunt thinks more men should have worn white roses to some cuntfest or other. To show solidarity with some cuntfest or other.

Yes, that would make all the difference wouldn’t it. The pervs would think twice if more people wore white roses. Oxfam etc wouldn’t have these problems if a collection of lightweight, warbling cunts wore white roses.

What is the matter with this vacant, half baked cunt that she thinks futile gestures and her views on them matter?

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

June Sarpong [3]

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Occasionally I watch the pledge on sly news.
I only watch it for Nick Ferrari (The king), that businesswoman from hull, Michelle Dewberry (who is quite hot and wise by the way …my dream woman) and Carole Malone (that always puts up a good fight on the side of common sense).
They are the only ones that speak any sense. The rest are cunts, but kind of ok in a “you’re a cunt, but not to the point that I want to kill you” kind of way.

Boris Johnson’s sister is an anti democratic cunt that hates brexit and everyone that voted for it, and I’m sure would be quite happy to see the UK descend into civil war just as long as her beloved Reich kept us under their jack boot. She is an utter, good for nothing cunt, but she seems ok.
…how can this be?
Well, she’s only ok because everything in the universe is relative and she’s only relative to the biggest cunt at the table.

That cunt is June Sarpong.

This cunt is the epitome of lefty cuntitude. A British hating, utterly idiotic cunt that thinks she’s “intelectual” or “important” just coz she has a big mouth and hates our ancestors.

June Sarpong is famous (apparrently) coz she was on loose women.
Quite how being an idiotic, loudmouthed cunt, talking shit on a programme only watched by cunts that aren’t at work when they should be, constitutes being considered worthy of political debate is way beyond me.

Then, for some unknown reason, some twat decided to put the cunt on national telly (at a time when people that work for a living are watching) to discuss her fucked up opinions…

These are some, but not all, of the reasons that I think that she’s a cunt:

She’s writing a book called “diversity”.
I don’t need to read it to know that it’s going to be shite.

Apparently Britain has a failure to “embrace diversity”.
Huh? …you’ve done ok out of it you cunt, and if you’re so oppressed please feel free to fuck off anytime you like.
Besides. You know full well why we hold back from “embracing diversity”, as will be confirmed further down.

The cunt defended Keith Vas-been on loose cunts, and even they were pissed of and thought she was a cunt.
We all know what cunts they are. And if you’re an even bigger cunt than them, then you’re some kind of goliath of a cunt that should just get the fuck off the telly and find someone else to wind up before the whole nation cunts you off to oblivion.

She went out with David Lamy and HE dumped HER. How much of a cunt do you need to be to get dumped by DAVID fucking LAMY? …The cunt won’t even split his tongue from junkers bumhole without crying like a bitch.
Maybe her cuntitude was too hard-core, even for him.

Apparrently they still get on well.
That makes her an even bigger cunt.

She’s one of those typical “I love the EU” cunts. Constantly defending them, then moaning about rich, white people ruling everything and not giving the “poor” and “minorities” a say. …Twat.

I can’t be bothered look up everything she’s said on the pledge but trust me.
Common sense? … NO, RUBBISH.
Reason? … NO, BOLLOCKS.
White people? …NO, CUNTS.
(Stated more subtly that that obviously, but you get the drift).

Just watch it for 30 seconds and you’ll see what I mean, which brings me onto this:

This is by far the biggest reason that I think she’s a cunt.
When discussing the constantly offended and mob justice going around at the moment, the issue of the Rourkes Drift argument was brought up.
Most agreed that it was cuntish and I’m sure all you cunters agree that it was just another pathetic capitulation by the weak cunts of society giving into the twitch fork mob.

June the cunt said:
“I agree completely. Why would you celebrate colonialism?”

CUNT.

Those men sacrificed their lives for this country.

The institutions, rights, laws and freedoms that we have are all built on the lives that were sacrificed to build this country.

When the boys (and girls) are sent to Iraq, Africa or whatever other shithole, they don’t do it out of animosity for that country or it’s people. They do their job. They do it out of love for THIS country and EVERY person that sacrificed their life for this country deserves respect.

The only thing she has going for her is that she’s not quite as much of a cunt as Arfua Hirsch (thorough cunting currently being formulated), who is, in my mind, just about the biggest cunt on earth.

But that doesn’t take away from the fact that June Sarpong is a 42 carat, weapons grade, class A, goliath of a cunt.

Nominated by deploythesausage

White fragility

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I wish to nominate “white fragility” for a cunting on the award-winning website ISAC.

The internet is absolutely awash was made up terms by fuckwits to make other fuckwits feel bad. Dislike a medievalist religion that treats women and unbelievers like shit? You have Islamophobia. Don’t think cutting off your knackers and wearing a dress makes you a woman? Transphobia! Are you a well-known Australian feminist with fairly ordinary opinions about transgender ‘women’? Misogynist!

I thought ‘intersectionality’ was the maddest piece of shit on the internet. (For those of you who don’t know, that’s the idea that having different forms of butt hurt makes you top of the pile in Victimhood Top Trumps). But bugger me butler, I was wrong. Apparently, if a white person says they are not a racist that is evidence that they are a racist! This insane idea is called “white fragility.” Fuck me up the fucking ass with a fucking rusty fucking fish fork.

I’m off to buy an island and I am going to put up a sign saying “No cunts allowed.”

Nominated by Cunt’s Mate Cunt