who object to perfectly reasonable planning applications on the ground of jealousy, feelings of inadequacy, spite or some personal grudge against the applicant are cunts.

I once made the mistake of buying a listed building. I had to apply, and pay 200 quid, to the local council to change the colour of my front door, from red to black. The neighbour objected. His front door was black, but he complained about ambience and other such shite

The reason for this was that I’d refused to sell him some land prior to the application.

I’ll leave aside the fact that what colour my front door is is none of the fucking council’s business, this cunt was doing his best to get me to assault him, and believe me he was very talented in that department.

Eventually the council agreed to my request, much to his chagrin. Fuck him, prick.

Again, I’ll leave aside the fact that ginger fucker Ed Sheeran is a carrot topped cunt, this is the story that made me think of my own experience.

Sky news

Wtf has it got to do with anyone else if this pasty faced, unco-ordinated fat fucker wants a dip?

Wankers.

The kicker is that when I moved from that house, I offered to sell him the land he required, in order for him to access another piece of land that belonged to him.

I sold it to him for literally 6 times its value, after threatening to put a covenanton the land forbidding its division.

Reap what you sow, muthafucker..

Nominated by Termujin.

is a cunt.

Some backstory: Tim Walz, the Democratic VP nominee, gave a speech at the Democratic National Convention. During his speech, he relays his and his wife’s experience with IVF treatment, and tells his family that he loves them. In response to this, his son, who has a learning disability, stands up, claps him and points to him.

Ann Coulter later puts up a tweet calling said son ‘weird.’ Maybe she’s angry that she doesn’t have children of her own. Maybe she can’t handle the fact that she looks like a Chinese knock off version of Cruella de Ville. Whatever the reason for her tweet, she’s a cruel, heartless cunt who represents basically every negative stereotype about the modern Right. The sooner the rat faced bitch disappears off into obscurity, the better.

independent

Nominated by OpinionatedCunt who also cunts some fucker below for similar reasons.

And, for the same reason, Dinesh D’Souza is a cunt too. In fact, his tweet sounds even worse. I hope Flatback wins now, if only to make these two pair of subhuman vermin seethe. Shit like this is why I’m drifting away from the Right.

X twitter

It never ceases to amaze me what people do to their bodies. They’ll have bits chopped off, bits sewn on or pushed in, they’ll bake themselves orange on sunbeds, they’ll dye their hair green or purple, they’ll stick rings or pins through their most intimate parts.

It’s no skin off my nose of course, and hey, we still live in a *cough* free country, but the one thing that really puts me off is women with tattoos. Nothing howls ‘chav’ quite like it.

Take for instance that IsAC heroine and woman for our time Katie Price. Don’t her tattoos really enhance her appearance? Not.

Daily Fail

But even our Kate’s excesses pale into comparison against one Esperance Fuerzina, who claims to be the world’s most tattooed woman, with 99.8 of her body covered. Yes, I’m ahead of you there; where’s the 0.2% that ISN’T tattooed? I’m sure we’d all love to know;

Metro

Now bear in mind that this doesn’t include other ‘modifications’ such as getting her tongue split. I mean, imagine actually paying to get this done to yourself. It’s batshit crazy I reckon. Even worse, imagine waking up first thing to the sight of that boat race. It’s like something out of the X-men. You’d likely shit the bed.

I think on balance, I’d rather not wake up at all.

Nominated by Ron Knee.

I love collecting music. It’s my thing. I have way over 2,000 CDs at this point and well over 3,000 titles in all formats overall. It’s a great hobby. Relatively inexpensive and provides hours of pleasure. I’ll even go as far as saying my collection is akin to a time machine. I can play a given album and I’m immediately transported back to the time when I first played it and re-live the emotional highs and lows of what was happening in my life at that time. Music is truly a wonderful and powerful thing.

The other day I was browsing in my local used record/CD store. A guy who works there (Dave – who I didn’t know) happened to stroll past and noticed I was wearing a Gary Numan tour T-shirt. He made some comment about the ‘Holy One’ and engaged me in conversation. During our chat I learned our musical tastes overlapped to quite a degree and he mentioned a few bands I might like none of which I’d ever heard of before. Quick as you like, Dave whipped out his ‘phone and played me some clips and one in particular sounded very interesting to my ears. As luck would have it, the store had new copies of that band’s 2nd and 3rd albums in the rack. I decided to take a punt (that’s how you end up with a ton of CDs in your collection) and asked Dave of those two, which would he recommend. He suggested their third album.

An hour or so later I’m back home and ready to give my new purchase a spin. First track and I’m absolutely blown away. It’s dark, heavy, atmospheric, jangling guitar, swathes of electronics with a haunting male vocal line that repeats:

Don’t say you love
If I don’t say I love who you are now
Who are you now?

The whole album is quite exceptional. It’s a rare treat to be this mesmerised so quickly by something completely new to me. I’ve since ordered their entire back catalogue (another way you end up with a ton of CDs in your collection). Yeah, I think they’re THAT good.

My point is, I just happened to be wearing a Numan shirt, Dave the store guy just happened to walk past, noticed it and had sufficient time on his hands to stop for a chat. All of which lead to me discovering a new band I now absolutely love. If I’d worn a different shirt that day or Dave wasn’t working that day or hadn’t walked past or …. none of this would have happened. How many other bands am I not going to discover who I’d love if I heard them? I suppose it’s silly and irrational, but I find that thought sad and depressing and a bit of a cunt. Dave has over 8,000 CDs in his collection which is also a bit of a cunt. I’ll never get close to that before I peg it.

The Band: Drab Majesty
The Album: Modern Mirror
The Song: A Dialogue

youtube

Nominated by Imitation Yank.

Walk down just about any high street and you’ll be met with the same depressing sight; the shabby frontages of the likes of B and M, Poundstretcher, and American ‘Candy’ stores. If you’re looking for cheerful individuality just forget it.

But to my mind when it comes to lowering the tone of an area, you can’t beat that establishment whose sole aim is to part the naïve or the addicted from his hard-earned benefit money, as quickly as is humanly possible. I refer of course to the betting shop, or the bookies; Coral, Paddy Power, Ladbrokes, Betfred and others.

You’ll see them strung out about the place, their frontages at once gaudy and seedy in their corporate colours. Absolutely classy. Not. They’ll likely be very near to a pub, to facilitate easy passage between one and the other.

I’ve no idea what these places are like on the inside, never having been in one. But I visualise counters surrounded by banks of screens with pasty-faced losers staring glassy-eyed at the parade of runners and riders, disgarded betting slips strewn around their feet.

I’d love all these cynical, money-grubbing cunts to crash and burn, but as long as there’s a punter with a pound in his pocket and a burning belief that he knows the winner of the 3.30 at Kempton, it just ain’t gonna happen.

Exploitative bastards, and classless with it.

standard

Nominated by Ron Knee.