is a cunt.
Except it’s not. It’s an out of control 120mph headlong dash towards a solid brick wall, and the brakes have failed.
How I loath the z Listers, who pimp theirselves for views, and when you read the shit they spew, it’s a mole that has been successfully removed.
In February, my lovey Bengal cat, Dexter, started snorting gung, after spending a fucking fortune, it turned out he had an inoperable tumour in his nasal cavity. I had him put to sleep, and I hope he can forgive me for all the prodding and poking he endured.
In March, I started to bloat in my abdomen. I went to the doctor, who sent me for blood tests. Two days later I got the results.
Terminal cancer with less than 12 months.
I’ve been hospitalised twice, once for a temporary drain and I spent my 72nd birthday having a permanent plural drain fitted.
I’m having chemo every four weeks, because it makes me more comfortable. It’s stopped the fluid build up, which is great.
I can live at home, have a shower and put clean clothes on. I need minimal help.
Lately, I’ve been getting pain, the morphine helps, but I long for a decent nights sleep.
Anyway, enough about me, but if I stop posting you know what’s happened.
Nominated by Jeezum Priest.
Heart felt wishes prayers, (cunters who pray) from everyone at Cunt Towers Jeezum. C.A.
know your not after pity JP,
but genuinely sorry to hear this.
My dad is in remission with bone marrow cancer.
had the chemo, trial drugs, and neck rebuilt after it ate the vertebrae in his neck.
its a cunt.
I wish you and your family good luck,
keep fighting and best of British 🇬🇧
chin up dear boy
33
👍
16
Same from me, Jeezum.
9
It is almost impossible to respond to this nom without sounding crass, patronising, or platitudinous. So I just send my very best wishes, JP.
28
Yep, seconded.
Nicely put, Twenty.
👍🏼
22
Agreed.
Best of British sir.
17
I can only echo all of the above, stout fellow JP, you have many many genuine friends here who consider this the most rock solid cunting in the history of this site
20
Of all the well-deserved cunts righteously cunted on this site, cancer has to be the biggest cunt of all time. Brave nom, Jeezum.
25
At 72 you’ll be full of the long gone British backbone I’m sure,and hopefully you will keep the humour going as long as you draw breathe… heartfelt best wishes from all at this forum 👍… ain’t life a bitch
20
As TTCUTS eloquently put it, best wishes mate.
15
What I find hard to take are the frequent media reports about how this and that new drug is having amazing results, but its not available on the NHS because it’s too expensive.
However, if I come from wartorn France in a flimsy boat, I can get my teeth fixed, my hernia repaired and (probably) a hair transplant to perpetuate the myth that I’m a 14 year old schoolboy.
How about telling the cunts to fuck off, and spending the money on British people who have a chance of a cure, instead.
39
I hope the pain management is helping JP, nothing worse than being in constant pain. I have been bloody lucky, 3 bouts of the big C, skin, bladder and most recently prostate, none of which spread . A very large goitre and heart valves sorted out a couple of years ago, all were relatively painless. The big thing is family and friends rallying around, it is so very easy to be embarrassed by illness and stay away but they are the biggest tonic and are needed to keep your morale up. I feel for you and wish you all the best as I am sure everyone on here does.
22
Yeah, I get the good stuff Wanksock.
Can’t beat it, but I do have some very vivid dreams!
18
Also, please note that the response from my GP, and the NHS oncology teams has been nothing short of amazing.
I have nothing but praise for them. They have my total admiration, I don’t know how they manage to come to work day after day, and keep so reassuring and positive.
18
To think that research into this dreadful disease is nearly solely reliant on charitable donations is appalling.
It’s not like politicians are immune from it, is it?
And apart from the Teenage Cancer Trust, I can’t think of any really high profile, star name backed gigs of any other sort.
Yet they’re happy to whore themselves out on telly for starving africunts.
It just doesn’t make sense.
All the best, JP.
19
… I think you`ll find that most politicians have private health care and couldn`t give a fucking gnat`s bollock about the NHS and the rest of us plebs, Field Marshal.
🐜
17
Indeed, sir.
Full MOT’s every year, whilst the rest of us are told to only go for a test if we display symptoms.
By which time it’s probably too late.
11
Yep … and a huge number of them are your honest-to-goodness, dyed-in-the-wool socialists. Hypocritical bastards.
13
They are working on Suspending Animation for cancer patient’s, Jeezum Priest. We will do our best to get you there. You’ve had your battles on here and won. Good luck my friend.
11
You have misread the room JP.
We are a bunch of cunters, not a bunch of cunts, so I can’t see you getting anything other than sympathy.
Nobody can make light of your post.
Besides that, you really don’t have the right to tell anyone how they should feel.
20
^ — 100
101
Jeezum rarely do I struggle for words pal, but I am right now, Stay as strong as you can. All I can do is echo my fellow cunters earlier comments and wish you as best an outcome possible. Take good care my fellow south Yorkshire man.
16
I am sure that we all know of someone who has been given a dire prognosis of cancer and has then gone on to defy the odds by living for fucking years.
Perhaps doctors give the worst possible scenario to make themselves look better after giving treatment.
People get told that they have a few months and they then go on to annoy people for the following ten years.
It happens.
13
There once lived two long term pub landlords, both of which lived in my town. Both were heavy drinkers & heavy smokers of the same age. Both had exactly the same names, but one had liver disease & lung cancer, whereas the other one only had some minor age related issues. Occasional they would get each other’s mail in error because the NHS couldn’t even get that right. I am certain that the healthier one died earlier than he should have from the worry associated with the misdiagnosed illnesses for which he never had.
12
@art…how correct and unfortunately it’s real cunts who more likely last longer …👍
10
Mrs Twatt has been on her own ‘cancer journey’ in the last 12 months, the worst part of which was the chemotherapy. For the first time in my life I had to call 999 for an ambulance as I thought the fucking stuff was going to kill her.
But like you, we found the medical staff, especially the cancer nurses, to be brilliant. They’ve shown great care and attention to Mrs T despite the huge workload and the demands of the job.
Stick in there JP. I’m sure your family are a great support to you as well.
13
Having been through two entirely separate bouts myself Geordie, I know exactly what you mean by “the worst part”. I also know exactly what you mean by the cancer nurses. If there is anyone who deserves the term ‘angels’, it is those darlings !!!
My surgeons and oncologists deserve a mention too, but theuseless NHS administration staff can just fuck right off. Obviously won’t apply to absolutely every one of them, but in my experience … well !!
7
What a sod, Geordie.
I think I’ve been lucky with the chemo, as the only side effect I get is redness on the bony parts of my face (forehead, cheeks, nose, chin).
Makes me look like Mr. Punch. Either that, or the post treatment cocktail of pills actually work at minimising the worst of it.
All the best to the missus.
8
As a man who has gone through prostate cancer and had treatment which was successful. But in reality a temporary reprieve. I wish you all the best JP. Cancer is a cunt.
13
My dad’s got terminal cancer, Prostate, bones and liver. He fights it with dignity. I don’t understand why people want to get attention from having such an evil disease
12
With reference to Bobs post above, I find the social media outpourings of the likes of Davina McCall insensitively unnecessary.
Don’t get me wrong, the poor girl must have been terrified, but so must Kevin Keegan and countless others.
I can’t see what filming yourself bawling your eyes out achieves, other than gaining a few heart emojis from people you’ve never met.
Not only that, she seems to have, at least for now, come out on the other side.
What about the thousands of others who won’t?
A bit of dignified behaviour wouldn’t go amiss.
17
All the best JP. I wish they’d spend some of the billions they spunk up the wall on net zero, foreign ‘aid’ etc in finding a cure.
19
Hear,hear
11
Hear, hear …
5
Going to the first part of your nom JP I am sorry to hear about you pussy, I am struggling with mine at the moment, gone from being easy to look after to a full time nurse and putting a significant hole in my pocket.
All the best to you with your cancer, I just hope I go quietly with no fuss.
12
I’m still furious about Dexter, Soi.
If someone at the vets had had the nous to x-ray the lads head from the get go, not only would they have saved me the equivalent of a decent second hand car, they’d have spared by beautiful boy weeks of distress and discomfort, the utter, utter twats!
10
The same with our moggy Dash. She’s aneamic, tests fuck all then the bastards still couldn’t find what was at the root of it. A scan, sorry it’s inoperable. Dropped everything and ran in time to say our goodbyes to her. Fuck me if anyone had said anything I would have gone Medeval on the twats.
6
Everybody has said what I wanted to say JP. My only regret is that so many shits reach their century – I can see Anthony Blair and Auntie Mandy getting their telegrams from King William – and I sincerely hope you do, too. I want to hang on long enough to see that pair do a “Professor” Ardey – Kweer too.
11
I hope your journey is tolerable JP.♥️ I have a longer term but similar outcome with stage 4 Prostate cancer.
At least we’ll die safe in the knowledge that climate change is a load of wank, made up by cunts and perpetuate by bigger cunts!
17
Hear hear. Stage 4 prostate (with met’s) for me too. Given a 30% chance of living for 5 years, 6 and a half years ago but luckily still responding to treatment but with a 4 stone weight gain and a fantastic pair of tits into the bargain. It boils my piss to see celebrities called “brave” and “heroes” for going through what millions of us peasants go through every day. I fucking hate it when people refer to “cancer journey” and “battling cancer”, at a late stage, it’s neither of those, it’s just trying to delay the inevitable.
Keep fighting JP and, live as long as you can just to spite the cunts.
12
I know what you mean Pablo.
As I explained to my nurses I suffer from three side effects.
1. My tits have grown
2. My bollocks have shrunk
3. I have an overwhelming urge to put lippy on !!
Keep smiling …
6
Sorry to hear this JP.
As you mention trouble sleeping, I have a pretty hefty ‘herbal’ remedy that will knock you out inside of 30 minutes.
Say the word and it’s yours, gratis.
11
All the best JP.
I hope you at least get a little bit of time in your new place next year when you move, if its still happening.
Ps….what are you doing with your kimonos? Er…asking for a friend.
11
Hi LL, yes we are still looking for a suitable property, as I told the family in March, nothing has changed, we’re still going carry on with our plans.
I’m not sure about the happi jackets. Mis is having the antique wooden button collection and the Victorian boot button hooks.
I could arrange for the jackets to be sent to Mis who I’m sure would forward one each to you and Thomas.
10
P.S. Would either of you be interested in a pair of genuine 1940s step ins, handmade from parachute silk?
The sensation of the cool silk sliding against your nether regions is an exquisite torture. Ahem, so I’m told, by a friend.
10
I would JP, you should probably put Cunt Engine down as well although he may well already have some.
8
Best wishes to you JP
9
I can add nothing to all the posts above with which I would like to associate myself.
Best of luck mate.
8
Hi JP. Not sure if you saw my reply on the nomination page. I know this isn’t Isac etiquette but the seriousness of the situation warranted it.
Look up some of the specialist surgeons and be an utter fucking pest. The initial diagnosis may be correct but there is a gulf between the sophistication of treatment in the local hospitals to that in places like the Royal Marsden for example.
9
We have two ROYAL examples of cancer survival rates if diagnosed and dealt with privately in early stages. As stated previously, the NHS is for the proletariat, not the master’s…!
14
Not quite, Dr Syntax; the NHS is shyte in so many ways, but private healthcare in the UK has neither the expertise nor the resources. Some of the NHS pioneering cancer treatment is the world’s finest.
If Jeezum can pester his GP for a referral to one of the pioneering surgeons/treatment, it will be his best bet.
7
Take note of Paul’s comment there Doc, he knows what he’s talking about. Our elder is a doctor in a main regional NHS hospital and it’s not an uncommon event for them to receive patients blue-lighted in from private hospitals when they have decided this is too heavy a case for them to handle.
7
Point noted & I stand corrected…!
5
However, this is what I meant..!
https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/royals/inside-luxury-london-hospital-treated-34949409
1
Keep battling, Jeezum.
Your writing is always interesting and is appreciated. Keep your pecker up.
9
JP……All I can add to the heartfelt comments already expressed is that my thoughts and very best wishes go out to you and your loved ones .
The same thing goes for other cunters and their loved ones too
Good evening 👍
10
PS. That should read….
The same thing goes for other cunters and their loved ones in a similar situation too.
I forgot that my brain had put in for early retirement.
Looks like it’s been accepted.
Daft old cunt.
Goodnight
7
I’m so sorry to hear this shit news. Keep fighting, from one Sheffield bloke to a fellow Sheffield gentleman.
9