Snotty Pharmacy Staff

I went into a local chemist to get some Co-Codamol for Mrs Norman.

But the woman (it’s always a woman who gets snotty) says in a condescending tone ‘You do know that hey are reaaaally addictive’.

My reply was that the old lady only wants them for three days because of dental treatment. I also said what would you do if you bought some booze at a supermarket and the cunt behind the till said ‘This could cause alcoholism you know’? They would get the hump and tell them to mind their own business.

Now I know there will be those who will say ‘It’s their job’ but one could tell this old bitch thought that a Newton Heath accent spells ‘Riff Raff’ and ‘druggies’.

Well she can fuck off. The guidelines and ‘warning’ are perfectly clear on the box and neither I or my wife need telling.

Nosy bastard.

Nominated by: Norman 

James O’Brien (8)

Somehow, miraculously, James Obrien has only received a quite underwhelming, one ‘cunting’ on this most prestigious of websites. This simply won’t do. Today, I correct this flagrant injustice by nominating Obrien, not once, but a whopping 5 TIMES!!!. I don’t know how I’m going to justify this bending of the meritocratic physics of this website. But, one cunting will never suffice.

Alas, I’m hoping that my verbal volleys and linguistic nut shots on James will mount such a devastating deluge of beatdownery, such an orgy of rhetorical violence, that the rules of the ‘…is a cunt’ universe will be ripped apart and tally it as at least 4 cuntings for James.

He’s such a colossus of cuntiness – such an exceptional case of the cunts – IMO he deserves to be on the ‘Mount Rushmore’ of cunts (along with arguably Tony Blair, Gary Lineker, Diane Abbott et al). How he has slipped under the radar of this website (a place seemingly so tailor-made for him to be featured) for so many years is probably a mystery of the ages. No longer. His cuntery is uniquely loathsome and must be heralded as such for all time.

For evidence of this, look no further than his daily call-in show on LBC. It’s such hard listening you’ll wish that you were subjected to two hours of Jimmy Car’s soul-shattering, choked inward laugh instead of James’ bloviating, self-righteous, bleeding-hearted smugness. He is so cocksure of his own moral rectitude, so enamoured by his own intellectual pedigree he has to wear a near-constantly scrunched face of exacerbated contempt for the world to signal just how ‘not good enough’ everything is. It’s like a congenitally defective bulldog with a lego brick in its sock. I think his face might be the single most ungrateful point in the universe.

Poor ol’ James, carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, sensing all the world’s pain. If only they could just do what he says and it would all go away. I picture him, up at 2 am, unable to sleep again, trying to block out his own neurosis with thoughts of himself as Woke Emperor of the World, Left-Wing Superhero, Captain Woke, there to right the evils of the world by pwning middle-Englanders with one stroke of his rhetorical mastery at a time.

This man even had the audacity to write a book called ‘How To Be Right’ with no hint of irony or self-awareness. One senses that a man like this isn’t much interested in free thought, but that everyone must agree with his prescriptions for the world, lest they fall into the bracket of wrong thinkers ripe for his ire. To him, there is right and ‘wrong’ think, in true Orwellian style. No humility, no missing of details, no bias, no possible way he might be slightly off by a whisker, no possible way that the other side might be on the money from time to time. None of that. His omnipotence and omnipresence is so, well, ‘omni’ he is like the universe itself.

And, low and behold all of his political opinions line-up neatly within the purview of a socialist, Guardian-reading, Pro-EU agenda. He throws around words like ‘fascist’ ‘racist’ ‘homophobic’ ‘Islamophobic’ like confetti and plays down the violence, censorship, lies of the Left, goes softball on left-wing sacred cows and becomes a fawning sycophant when in the presence of other left-wing bigots and liars like himself. What’s worse is that people actually buy his books and adopt his intellectually dishonest style of debate as a way to feel empowered and somehow badass, egging him on as a true prince for their side. In truth, he owns NO ONE in a debate because the debate simply never happens.

Instead, he berates, interrupts, scoffs, sneers, childishly harangues and bullshits his way through caller’s sincere attempts to reason with him as a way to APPEAR to have won. This is childishness you’d expect from a 9-year-old, narcissistic bully, not an adult of 40.

I’ve never hated anyone more than him. And that includes Piers Morgan and CJ De Mooie off Eggheads. They are unmitigated cunts. But, James takes the gold medal – by far. In fact, he’s an Olympic cunt. He’s the Sir Steve Redgrave of Olympic Cunts. And that’s why I’m giving him 5 Olympic cunts. It should be orders of magnitude more but Steve Redgrave’s athletic window closed too soon to keep up with Jame’s prolific and evident cuntishness.

By way of catharsis, I direct all readers to a youtube video of Jacob Rees Mogg calmly, soundly and effortlessly putting James O’Brien in his place on youtube, on his own turf, to the point of near mental breakdown. Look it up. There cannot be a person more designed for James to hate and he sends James packing on his arse.

Anyway, I don’t know if I can really do a cunt like James justice here. But, please lay in some extra digs in the comments to finish the cunt off. Lovely.

Nominated by: Flappy Cuntlips

 

…and this from GILES EVANS 

James O’Brien MUST have been fiddled-with as a kid (a big “allegedly” added here – DA). I can’t get my head around just how much attention-seeking bollocks he spouts-out. It’s beyond fucking parody.

Is this what a public-school education gives-us? If I could be bothered I’d love to ask him how he can justify thieving a living. I doubt he has ever done an honest days work in his entire life.

Plus he’s an ugly looking c*nt. Hand him a fishing-rod and put him in your front-garden. He’s a perfect Gnome.

Boris Johnson (12)

Yes, once again, this fucking useless ball bag is in need of yet another cunting.

I saw him on the telly tonight, holding forth about vaccines, Christmas arrangements and revised lockdown measures. He is under the illusion that he has gravitas and statesman like qualities, he has neither.

Rather than give an eloquent speech in measured, emphatic tones, with some conviction, he witters on about ‘ the sound of the cavalry coming ‘ and ‘ a jolly Christmas, but a time to be jolly careful ‘.

The man cannot seem to help himself, he trivialises everything.

I have never rated him and hold the opinion that whatever he does is in his own self interest, with no regard for the country or anyone else. I had hoped that I was wrong, but no, he really is a blustering clown, who has a degree in ‘ the classics ‘, because he was useless at everything else.

Fuck off Boris, you dumb blonde Turkish cunt, enough is enough, you are a massive cunt, so off you go.

If only Farage were PM.

Brexit sellout reveal, coming to a tv screen near you, soon.

Fat traitorous bastard.

Get To Fuck.

Nominated by:Jack The Cunter

Bill Paterson and Robert Pugh.

These are the highly annoying narrators of BBC’s The Repair Shop.

I know that a number of posters on here respect the skills of the artisans in this afternoon tv show who manage to restore peoples’ worthless pieces of shit into their original condition (worth about 50 p in today’s money) so that they can start crying and saying how much the item meant to Grandad but I find that the programme is ruined by their droning voices?

Not only that, but they both sound the fucking same.

Despite the pair of them having extensive filmographies on IMDb I’m hard pressed to name anything that either of them have been in.

I vaguely remember gurnard-faced jock Paterson being in a film about rival ice-cream vans, and as for sheep-botherer moon-faced Pugh I remember him playing a depraved priest who got someone up the duff in The Lakes.(The delectable Kaye Wragg was in it as well).

Why does the BBC have to pick people like this pair of boring cunts? Silly question.

Nominated by cuntator 

Unfalsifiable Claim & Existentialism

If you ring up Swinsons and say to the girl-‘the car in my imagination has broken down but I would like to make a claim because I am certain I insured it with you in my dreams’ she might possibly reply ‘but that’s an unfalsifiable claim’.

Or you ring up a house insurance company ‘I want to make a claim I have a house but I haven’t a clue whereabouts in the universe it is but I feel (I don’t know how) some slates have fallen off the roof and I am certain that I insured it with you on the borderland of my imagination’ quite possibly she would again say-‘but that’s an unfalsifiable claim’..
When used within the remit of science as a philosophical point it sounds perfectly ok. Just another way of saying you have to go out and find empirical evidence to prove a theory is true. But the phrase it seems to me is never used like that.

The problem is the word ‘claim’. If I say ‘I believe in God’ I’m not making a claim. I am just stating my belief. If I simply say ‘God exists’ that is of course an unfalsifiable claim. But you don’t hear religious people talk like that. We say The Creed every week at mass. ‘I believe…’ it starts.

There is tons of evidence I BELIEVE for the existence of God, the harmony of the universe, human love, heroic self -sacrifice but this evidence (in this context) can’t be used because harmony, love, sekf-sacrifice are abstract, intangible concepts.
But in that case you cannot say anything about anything at all. ‘Patience is a virtue’.

Patience is an abstract noun so is virtue. You cannot generalise about either of them with this carry on. You could maybe sit with a person for days and days to ascertain their patientness and then ask friends and relatives if they think he or she is virtuous. But that would be very laborious for every truism or proverb.

You know for a bit of fun I might simply post ‘God exists’ on here and the first person to reply with ‘that’s an unfalsifiable claim’ I will immediately reply-‘and I claim my £5:,00’.

Nominated by: Miles Plastic