are a cunts for cunts.
common isn’t it?
if your kids/ grandkids have a trampoline in the garden then they probably also have nits.
As well as screaming hey we’re chavvy as fuck
they’re dangerous.
100,000 accidents in A&E are tramp-o-line related.
I’m not arsed about that,
find it funny,
no, I’m concerned with how
‘council estate ‘ it is.
plant a tasteful flower bed
have a pond and water feature
show some taste.
Let little Teagan and Chardonnay burn off their ADHD in some state sponsored kids gym.
ps dont get me started on bouncy castles.
vulgar.
Nominated by Miserable Northern Cunt.
Ideal for incompetent parents to plonk their children into, whilst they contemplate not having anymore.
9
I heard a lady calling my name from the garden.
I went downstairs and saw this lady on my trampoline:
https://share.google/7mfRVxUY3HogOCTkb
We had tons of bouncy, filthy sex.
Then I woke up.
8
Luckily, I managed to get back to sleep, where she was still waiting for me, albeit a little different:
https://share.google/fX6vqvbvmNQH68ocF
6
I closed one eye before I opened that one
6
At least 50% of my submission was worth an emission, Soi!
8
I’ve been charitable to worse.
5
Thomas you cunt, that’s my breakfast resurrected.
5
Thanks Thomas that has given me an idea for my next nudie epic with Emily Thornberry. We can use it in the fisting scene.
5
Not clicking this time..!
🤔
3
Add to that those bloody basketball hoops that twang. Sometimes I wonder why we fund all these parks when Cayden and Layden can’t be arsed to walk a few yards there ; they’d rather scream and shout in their own backyards. Some looney left council was proudly boasting about turning backstreets into playgrounds.
9
There’s loads on my estate. For reasons that elude me, these eyesores are usually located in the front gardens.
All day long, squeak, squeak, squeak, shriek, shriek, shriek! Like a brothel when the fleets in.
Still, high winds earlier this year blew several of the untethered monstrosities into the occupiers parked car, so it’s true about an Ill wind blowing nobody some good. Very satisfying.
16
Young kids are flexible, they can take a bit of bending and bouncing, it all goes tits up when the adults get involved
5
I bet Mucky Ange has a trampoline.
To keep herself permanently lubed.
6
She is a trampoline.
5
Ideal also for chucking ADHD kids into. When I had that problem, found it better to stick with the quality HD screen.
5
Sex on a trampoline has to be tried. I thoroughly recommend.
Also both covered in baby oil in a ball pit, while off your tits on LSD.
Superb
9
I’ve done it on a water bed.
Didn’t enjoy it though.
I got seasick.
8
We live opposite a park and all you can hear is cuntlets screaming all fucking day.
9
Sometimes chavvy customers when on the phone and I enquire what’s to be moved will
say
” oh normal stuff, sofa, beds, washing machine, fridge,20ft trampoline..”
when I ask if its stripped down it never is.
when I explain that after two years outdoors all the bolts will of seized up and it’ll add about £100 to the bill for the time spent fuckin about with the fuckin thing,
they have a Damascus moment
“we’ll just leave it.
kids have outgrown it anyway.
yeah just leave it.”
Hoping you’d say that..😁
19
And the new people moving in are supposed to be pleased they’ve left behind their shite? Tie some helium balloons to it and hope it takes off.
8
Nah, use hydrogen So Long, cheaper and gives you more lift. For potentially more excitement float it off in a thunderstorm.
4
People with a trampoline in their gardens will also have a part of their lounge dressed up to look like a bar.
With a dartboard, horse brasses and optics for the spirits.
Council house types.
8
Best council house pointless adornment I ever saw was a 7′ wollygog dressed in a Queen’s guard outfit, complete with bearskin parked in the corner of the living room.
Pure cobwebs covered class.
6
Poor families who are cruel to the children can use the excuse whilst giving them a good hiding under the pretence’s of having one of these confounded things.
5
Even worse if they have one indoors 😩… must admit I’ve been on a couple of bouncy castles 46DD one’s 😘
7
It’s a cunning way to reduce the great unwashed. Shame more peacefulls don’t buy them for their breeding stock…☠️
11
Good idea for epileptic fit sufferers.
I used to help out with a neighbour who would ask me to sit by her, whilst she took a bath, incase of a seizure occurring. I don’t know what use I’d have be if the lady did have a funny turn, due to me being transfixed by her enormous tits and hairy minge.
6
As a kid a trampoline would of held my attention for nearly 5minutes.
then id of ignored it.
rubbish aren’t they?
xlbully is better.
release it and the kids can burn off energy racing around the garden to avoid it.
pure adrenaline rush for the summer holidays.
Then little jayden and Chardonnay can watch the police armed response unit shoot the fucker from the kitchen window,
then relax with some colouring in.
surprised my creche got shut down by the council.
12
Well, I have mixed feelings about trampolines.
The modern get ’em in Aldi ones beloved by chavs and their horrendous offspring are to be despised. And, quite rightly so.
And yet (Kenny Everett as Quentin Pose on ‘Fulcrum’) when I was at high school, we had a huge fuck off olympic sizes trampoline. Of course us, 13/14 year old riff raff saw it as a novelty and a great thing to piss about on. However, what drew me to it most was the PE teacher. Miss Kendall usually taught the girls. But for this trampoline thing, she taught the lads. Seriously, a dark blond beauty with brown eyes, the most magnificent pair of tits, and and an arse that could crack walnuts. She would not have looked out place on Page 3 , no word of a lie. Miss K did us a demonstration on the trampoline, as her perfect form bounced up and down, up and down. We are all stood there in total awe. And, she says ‘Did you all get that? Shall I do it again?’ The shout of ‘Yes Miss’ in unison could be heard in Warrington.😉
17
Chavy wankers
6
Two doors from my abode I have a child who is now 8, but she acts and behaves like a 3 year old – she is an only child and spoilt rotten by her parents. They bought her a trampoline about 3 years ago, and since then each sumer has been made hideous by the brat jumping up and down, producing knicker-wetting screams several hours of the day. Her mum shrieks with laughter at her antics. Often the entertainment is enhanced when mummy gets out the little girls karaoke machine so they can both “sing” along. Such fun. A tart and a tart-lette.
Had I have had a daughter as soon as she was born her name would have been put down for strict convent training at a boarding school in Scotland – or somewhere else safely distant.
5
You could always unclip a few of the springs or loosen a bolt or two under cover of darkness, Mr Boggs?
The loud shrieking would be followed by the siren of a ambulance but after that silence.
May get the odd squeak from the child’s wheelchair going past but then you have to comprise sometimes.
10
Know how you feel, W. C. Bloggs.
Remember in the last century, a misbehaving little boy would torment the neighbourhood. Unfortunately for his parents he had a nasty accident and died. Even though a child, his collection box was empty. That’s how bad the effect can harm others.
5
With the summer we are having, I bet the apprentice tartlet will be sunburnt as fuck.
4
I look forward to the winter for all reasons of quietness, even though the heating bills are higher it’s worth it. It helps to wear warmer clothing to keep the bills lower.
4
There’s a mill not far from me Sammy
where the owner used to house his workers in cottages he owned.
The rent would be deducted from your wage.
But also the firewood he supplied you and any groceries.
he had gardens he grew veg in,
and a orchard.
so once all that was deducted you’d be lucky to have any wages left.
some of the workers kids stole some apples from the orchard.
He was furious!
he had signs put up saying if the culprits were found the parents would lose their job.
also their cottage.
for a few scabby apples.
6
Ahhh, the good old days..!
6
These days, Mis, they wouldn’t stand for that they’d all gang up on him and sort him out.
0
Bring back the early days of covid.
the wonder years.
no planes
no traffic
nobody in the street
no kids
” mummy I’m scared!!
are we going to die?!”
probably.
now be quiet.
die quietly.
I’m listening to birdsong.
beautiful
9
All would be sent to sleep from the clip clop of the horses hooves and the carts wheels rattling on the cobblestones.
1
My only experience with trampolines is a few customers who have had them in their gardens for the kids. Some are not bothered about the grass underneath being mowed others ask you to move it and mow which is a handy extra tenner I charge for moving peoples crap.
4
I’m not overly fond of those slingback things in gardens either LL.
soak the ball in piss,
then when the budding John Mcenroe hits it with his tennis racket he’s showered in fragrant piss.
3
swingball.
twat of a phone
3
Yeah, the bloody base always leaks when you need to move it too.
Chicken coops in the garden, fairy lights in the hedges and the amount of arseholes who put raised beds in during Covid because they thought they would be like Tom and Barbara from The Good Life and then did fuck all with it.
5
It’s a bit of a tangent, but last year one of the managers at my work told me they were taking on a person named Casper the following week. My bullshitometer started twitching like a good ‘un and I was not surprised to learn the next week that Casper ( a 26 yr old man) would not be coming in that week, as he had sustained an injury from trampolining. We are not really taking on this person, are we? I said – but of course we were.
0
I shagged an ex on one of those when we were staying at a friend’s. They had one at the bottom of their garden, so after everybody had gone to bed, and since we were horny, we wandered down and had a nice bouncy bang under the starlight. It was quite comfortable actually. Not hard on the knees, as is the case on normal ground. No sand to deal with as at the beach, or pine needles as in the forest. The squashy nature of the surface, and getting her legs folded right back, meant I was able to give her an extra deep pile-driving. You can’t beat drilling for oil on a trampoline!
Happy memories.
6
Sorry but I cannot get onboard with this hire.
Perfect place to have a nap whilst the kids destroy the inside of the fucking house. Built in midge net too. Double Bubble 🙂
0
We didn’t have the calories to burn off when I was a youngster, due to food rationing after the war. We were on the verge of malnutrition and to survive we had to preserve our energy. Unlike the youth of today causing trouble after being over fed.
2
just replied to your post Sammy.
but for some reason its higher up?
0
I’ve told my son he must read some of your funny stuff.
0
I bet andy burnhams been on or owned a trampoline, probably got a anecdote about bouncing while air guitaring to joy division.
I see mr knee jerk has put a temporary ban on disposable bbqs, the foreign cunts will have to use broken up pallets to fricassee their cats in the countryside now..
6
Yep. Saviour Andy has stepped in to ensure that a ban takes effect just as the weather is about to break, and it pisses down till next April.
Which just about sums the clueless, no mandate chancer up.
What a cunt!
10
Andys unfortunate split lip was the result of a trampoline accident.
Bounced straight off onto the Merseyside pavement.
“One day la, I’ll be dat prime minister!!”
next minute on the flagstones in a puddle of blood.
8
Anyone have Jimmy Rimmer in the Dead Pool?
A decent goalie, I saw him play a few times for United in the old days.
He was better than Paddy fucking Roche anyway. RIP JIm.
Also, Cheryl Hall passed away. Pretty blonde actress, seen in Citizen Smith, Within These Walls, Tales of the Unexpected. RIP.
8
Jim was in goal when we played Chelsea at home in the League Cup 1970. Georgie took the piss out of Chopper Harris (twice) and Peter Bonetti. It was spectacular, even by Bestie’s standards.
https://www.facebook.com/100079048004236/videos/bbc-sportsnight-the-great-george-best-scoring-chelsea-in-the-league-cup-tie-at-o/1830665167484463/
1
I wonder if these cunts have trampolines, I’ll bet they fucking do when the mangy bastards rock up in a 250 seat dinghy and settle in taxpayer funded new builds..!!
BBC News – https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cmeqezyrvr7dt
Afghan women answer your questions about life under five years of Taliban rule – follow their stories live – BBC News
4
I’ve a question I’d like to ask an Afghan wimminz, or any other Afghan for that matter.
Why the fuck are you assuming that your problem is our problem?
I couldn’t care less.
Get to fuck!
10
Ex fucking actly…!
7
‘Foreign aid to Afghanistan so far this year is nearly 70% lower than 2025’
Fucking excellent!
Mind you, I bet our contribution hasn’t diminished.
5
They should just nuke the Afghanistan shithole.
6
Lady Cuntgomery has embarrassed me with an oversized trampoline that would only fit in the front garden in the past.
I had to mow the lawn with a bag over my head.
The shame of it.
I told her we might as well go the whole hog and put a broken washing machine or freezer out front, with a couple of 47kg gas bottles and a Transit pickup.
She claimed she didn’t know what the fuck I was going on about.
7
Did Lady C think Shameless was a documentary?
5
More like an aspiration, LL.
4
Ex fucking actly…!
1