If you thought women commentating on men’s sport was annoying, just wait until you get a load of this ‘un. Her main problem is that she can’t shut up for five seconds. She’s a ‘co commentator’ for footy on ITV, and their role is to chime in (for an ‘expert opinion’) when prompted by the main commentator. Well that’s the way it’s always seemed to work. Remember Motty or Bazza saying summat like “They’ve gone to 4-2-4. Jimmy Hill.”?

Well those days are over. Now it’s ‘The Emma Hayes Show.’

Yes, this ‘un just jumps in as soon as the commentator pauses for breath. Every time. It’s incessant. And she’ll go on and on. And on.

Likes to throw obscure stats around too. “1.8 expected assists per game”. The sort of shite any cunt could write down and bring with them to the game, after a five minute Google search. This makes her ‘a knowledgeable pundit’ according to the (woke of course) media. Bollocks. Ask her about the weird stats she throws out about North Macedonia’s right back after the game. Not a fucking clue I wager.

And get this quote from her too.
I think I know why the main commentators haven’t told her to shut up for two seconds. Or her boss for that matter.

“When the football world is ready to adhere to the diversity codes, so that BAME (Black, Asian and minority ethnic) communities, plus women, get the opportunities in football, then I’ll see that as a step forward,” she said in February, responding to a report that linked her with a job at men’s third-tier club AFC Wimbledon.”

Fucking hell. Has she seen the ‘French’ team lately? She needs to look at a photo of the France team in World Cup 86 vs World Cup 2018. Daft fucker. We’re not far behind them too. I’d say BAMEs are over represented in English football by percentage of population anyway.

And the studios are now full of clueless women causing real football fans to turn off. Box ticking shite. Commentate on your own (women’s) sports.

I was busy and recorded a Euro 2020/2021 game between Spain and Croatia. Turned out to be a classic. Alas, she made it completely unwatchable with her constant wittering. Had to skip through to the goals. Unwatchable.

I’m sure she knows more about the sport than many, but fuck me..it’s not sexist to say she needs to stop commenting on absolutely everything.

Since that game I’ve had a song that I can’t get out of my head.

Oh you won’t stop talkin’
Why doncha give it a rest
You got more rabbit than Sainsbury’s…

https://www.goal.com/en/news/emma-hayes-chelsea-manager-euro-2020-commentary-women-belong/1rc63x4rvlnlo11wjshnhmr8a4

Nominated by: Cuntybollocks

I would like to nominate the double woke hypocracy standard that is the latest type of advertising.

The way that someone of a darker shade is included in every ad, every film no matter how ridiculous, think recent Ann Boleyn and many others, then you can’t call Uncle Ben’s rice, because that’s waaaaayyysist and sends the wrong message and show coloured people in a negative light, so now it’s just Ben’s rice FFS.

So the flip side of this coin is we have coloured fuckwits who say things like nie pounds nigny nighhh, so the gobshite fuckwits speak that’s completely unintelligible fuck muppery that puts on good image on the latest woke ads and people think ads like KFC, Go Daddy website company and the the latest Olay for chimps ad.

How does going on the telly, talking like a fuck wit that never went to school and generally looking like a cunt improve the image for coloured people, this doesn’t help, doesn’t sell products and if Uncle Ben offends WTF are ads like the above supposed to be about….woke ads for cunts or not for cunts that is the question…..

Nominated by: Fuglyucker

Apologies the last cunting didn’t show up in the search, enjoy a bonus new one. – DA

Lovely man, faithful to his heritage.

Harry Hewitt and the Markle Creature are still cunts. But, this time, even they have surpassed themselves.

These two shitheads turned down a royal title for Lickle Archiebald. Apparently, they didn’t like the title Earl of Dumbarton because it featured the word ‘Dumb’.

Only thing is, it doesn’t feature the word dumb at all. Dumbarton is a town in Scotland. With its name originating from the Gaelic for ‘Fort of the Britons’. Only these two cunts would see something negative in it, and their ‘dislike’ of the name and the town is pure bog standard school playground level shit. It’s like the seven year old spotting a rude word inside a bigger word in the dictionary and being chuffed to bits and telling his classmates. One can bet that Harry’s horrendous Praying Mantis of a wife is behind this ridiculous and immature rebuttal. But the whole thing just sums them up. These cunts are seemingly offended by everything, including words and names of old Scottish towns.

As Alan Hansen (or EMF) might say ‘Un-be-fucking-lievable!’

Nominated by: Norman

And more by Hard Brexit Cunt

A regal cunting for the Duke and Duchess of Hewitt who are about to star in a remake of the film Dumb and Dumber.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/royal-family/2021/06/23/exclusive-harry-meghan-rejected-earl-dumbarton-title-archie/?li_source=LI&li_medium=liftigniter-rhr

They whinged to Oprah Winfrey that their son Archie Hewitt-Markle has to make do without the title of Prince until his grandmother’s ex-husband becomes King.

However, they have decided that the title Earl of Dumbarton is not suitable for little Archie because they believe that he will be bullied for having a title containing the word ‘dumb’.

Perhaps Archie might be called Dumbo if he grows the same ears as Prince Charles despite inheriting no genes from the heir to the throne.

Sadly, for Archie his parents are dumb and deserve the abbreviated title of Earl and Countess of Dumb.

Tune in next week for more exciting adventures of Harry & Meghan, but maybe something interesting happens. Like they somehow manage not to do an interview for 12 seconds. Or he agrees to do a DNA test for his parentage.

La-la-la-la Lorde

Lorde is a cunt.

Now, who the frig is Lorde? I hear you ask. Well, she’s a singer from New Zealand and a current woke favourite. But why is she a cunt?

Well, she is putting out her new album on vinyl and download, but not on CD. Lorde sees CDs as ‘bad’ and a threat to the environment. That’s the story anyway. She claims she doesn’t want to be responsible for CDs that end up thrown in a landfill site after a couple of years.

First of all, who the fuck throws away a CD album two years after buying it (unless it’s crap)? Then again, it could just be a gimmick and a way of shifting the more expensive vinyl editions (of which there are many, of course).

So I think the smell of publicity and moolah is definitely eclipsing the stench of landfills containing discarded CDs. I may be a cynical old(ish) cunt, but I know a stunt when I see one.

The album in question – Solar Power – has a quite spectacular and pleasing cover though.

Nominated by: Norman

https://superdeluxeedition.com/news/lorde-offers-fans-a-discless-version-of-her-new-album-solar-power/

https://www.popbuzz.com/music/artists/lorde/news/solar-power-album-cd-music-box-vinyl/

Don’t click the top link at work or if your wife is nearby.

Bertie Blunt Tory Cunt helpfully supplied an additional link:

https://www.buzzfeed.com/mariasherm2/lorde-butt-solar-power-album-cover-story

Brandeis university in America has banned the phrase “trigger warning” as it’s a… trigger warning that re-establishes gun violence . I swear I’m not making this up.

Also banned are the hateful words “picnic” which apparently is black lynching. “Rule of thumb” for wife beating and “take a shot at it” gun violence again.

2021 everyone! It’s great!
University Triggers Backlash

Nominated by: LazyBiscuits 

Supported by Komodo

Supplementary to the above- senior Brandeis academic reveals her insanity:

University White Hatred