There are not many people more cuntish than wine connoisseurs.

Wine is a drink for the masses. In many countries it is cheaper than water and certainly safer to drink. Even young children get in on the act, half a glass of wine topped up with lemonade.

So why in some countries is the wine thing so fucking poncey?

A stuck up waiter will pour a tiny amount for you to taste.
Just leave the bottle you cunt, it’s house red not a fucking Chateau Briand 85.

On to the tasting ritual……

First you have to hold your glass up to the light and check that there are no flies, toenails or corn plasters.
Then you have to stick your nose into the glass to get the aroma.
If it doesn’t smell like vinegar then you go on to taste it.A large sip which you have to swill around your mouth before swallowing.

Now you have to say the first and most pretentious thing you can think of.

“I’m getting a hint of saddle soap and freshly mown grass”

It’s all bollocks. If you watch a proper wine tasting session you will see that nobody actually drinks the stuff. They spit it out.

The reason is that they don’t want to fuck up their taste buds for the next wine.

So why do people buy an entire bottle of expensive wine in a restaurant? They are only going to appreciate the first sip.

Buy just a glass of the good stuff and follow that with a bottle or two of the cheap shit.

I have never worked out what to do with the cork when I am given it in the super poncey restaurants that I have been to.

More research is needed.

Nominated by: The Artful Cunter

A cunting for muppets and how the fuck they have survived so long without help, natural selection is real and its coming for cunts like this fuck monkey and lots like him:

Man confuses stun gun for shaver

You know the dicks I mean, handstanding selfie takers on the edge of cliffs or leccy scooter surfers or even muppets who modify their cars but don’t know what they’re doing. Like the bell ends that dress up as a pantomime zebra and wander around the Serengeti looking for lions…… The clock is ticking for these stupid fuckers……

Nominated by: Fuglyucker

Seconded with links-a-plenty by Hard Brexit Cunt:

I’ll second this nomination but it still doesn’t beat the Polish cunt who chopped off his own head with a chainsaw during a drinking game with his mates.

Darwin Awards

https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg14820049-500-feedback/

Link to amputation stories…yes really.

Okay, so it’s not quite all-out civil war, but it seems things are kicking off again in SA, and in particular Johannesburg.

Lots of BLM (Burn, Loot and Murder) going on between warring tribes (mostly black) either supporting the current president, Cyril Ramaphos’ tough stance on political corruption; and supporters of ousted president, Jacob Zuma, who has been jailed for refusing to testify over alleged government corruption and bribery under his watch.

The police are totally outnumbered by the baying mob, who have looted and trashed many shops, and supermarkets in the Gauteng region of J’Burg, a lot of which are owned by Whites, Asians and Indians.

Things are so bad that private security firms have been called in to protect shops and residences owned by the mostly white middle classes in the area, with some commentators suggesting this is the worst period of civil unrest since apartheid ended in the early 90s.

The thing is though, past and present governments/presidents since Apartheid ended have been black, and just like with other historic black African presidents (Mugabe, Mobutu and Amin) , they love the taste of power, money, bribery, corruption, murder and influence (the exact same things that were levelled at former white presidents like de Klerk and Botha) – until of course they get found out for being the chavvy scum they really are!

Plenty of black people (and whites) have died during this current period of civil unrest, but I don’t hear much noise coming from the libtards in the West, especially the BLM, the MSM, Rashford, Abbott, Sparkletits and all the usual cunts that see racism is all the fault of whitey.

Moreover, I don’t see any of these cunts getting on their planes and flying out to J’Burg in order to protest on the streets and stand shoulder to shoulder with their black brothers and sisters criticising black president, Ramaphos!

They choose not do this because you just don’t fuck about in places like SA. The police can’t control the mob, and therefore the safety of some BLM protestors and token celebs flying in from Heathrow, New York or Califuckyouia would be in doubt. Which is ironic because these are the same cunts who want to defund the police in both the US and the UK. In which case perhaps they should go to Johannesburg and learn a few hard truths of having no police around when you need them.

White Militias called in against lawless looters

Nominated by: Technocunt

See that person milking a shit song for 25 years? That’s you that is.

Oh fuck that song again. ‘Its coming home, it’s coming home, football’s coming home’. How I hate it. A lone drunken voice the other night- ‘It’s coming home, it’s coming home, football’s coming home…’

Is England really the ‘home’ of football? I suppose it was invented here. It’s such a plodding rhythm. ‘Its coming home, its coming home, football’s coming home’

‘Three Lions on the shirt’. But there arent 3 lions now are there? I thought it was changed to a lion, a lioness, a cub. A lion, a lioness and a cub Jules Rimet still gleaming’. Doesnt really work.

I hate that as well-‘Jules Rimet still gleaming’. Bit scrupulous here but it’s the cup that gleams not the person.

Could have got that wrong. Is it called the Jules Rimet trophy? Anyway the line is shit. I suppose I better confess that I did watch Fantasy Footbbal was a bit of a fan. All matey like with Stato there. But then NO. Suddenly I hated it.

You can just tell Skinner brainstormed the England team and our poor showing over the years. And set down the memories. I hate that kind of lyric writing. Its just too easy.

Oh well if they win will be hearing much more of it. We might as well just join in. After 3:

‘Its coming home, it’s coming home, football’s coming home, its coming home, It’s coming home, football’s coming home.

Nominated by – Miles Plastic 

I’d like to add that David Baddiel sings flatter than Patsy Kensit’s chest.

Do not google image search her unless you wish to end up on some sort of a register.

Can some kind soul out there in the great IsAC community help a confused old git to get a grip on a weird aspect of 21st century manners and mores?

It’s the fault of ‘The Crown’ actress Emma Corrin, who appears to have some ‘gender’ issues. Emma has courageously come out to tell the world that she’s *gasp!* on ‘a journey with a lot of twists and turns’, but that she’s ’embracing it’.

She’s *wow!* changed her personal pronouns to ‘she/they’ (I know), and shared her ‘intimate’ experience of buying her first breast binder on Instagram, as you do.
So here’s where my confusion comes in.

Why does a young woman want to be ‘pronouned’ as ‘she’, yet flatten her breasts to look like a young lad? Is she wanting to identify as female, male, or as something else along the sliding scale of 50, 70 or 100 genders?

Answers to IsAC please (no answers please we don’t care or even know who she is), always assuming that you give a flying fuck about the ‘oh look at me’ antics of yet another self-absorbed, narcissisitic sleb.

Oh and judging by the photographs, she’s wasted her cash on the breast binder…

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-9758967/Emma-Corrin-recalls-buying-binder-details-intimate-journey.html

Nominated by – Ron Knee