Time to recunt the word “Islamophobia.” I nominated this shitty term back in January 2015 but if anything, it’s become even more widespread since then. How has this fucking word become so ubiquitous without even having an agreed definition? From the most thoughtful criticism to the most blatantly racist attack, everything is encompassed by this Orwellian term. Nothing but the profoundest respect – submission? – appears to satisfy some Islamists.

If we are going to make up words, may I suggest:

Islamofauxbia – deliberately contrived “outrage” about an old children’s cartoon designed to draw attention away from the violent actions of Islamists.
Islamophobiaphobia – the fear of saying anything to upset Islamists.
Islamodepression – the feeling experienced when seeing yet another news report about Islamist atrocities.
Islamofatigue – feeling tired of hearing about Islam.
Islamonausea – as above, but feeling sick instead of tired.
Islamoexpertise – NOT gained by reading the Koran or attending an Islamic University like Caliph Al-Baghdadi but gained by reading odious Islamist-apologies in the Guardian and a couple of Wikipedia pages.

Race – 19th century pseudoscience that divides Homo sapiens sapiens into groups based on superficial differences. Can be used by approved Muslims to shut down any criticism of Islam.

Muslim (1) – follower of a Guardian/BBC approved version of the Islamic religion. Anyone self-identifying as a Muslim can only be considered as such if approved by Islamoexperts (see above).
Muslim (2) – a “race” that includes everyone from blue-eyed, blonde-haired Bosnians to Sub-Saharan Africans. Only followers of the ideology of Islam can be members of this “race” and converting to this ideology changes your “race.” Apparently.

Racism (1) – dislike of misogyny, homophobia, ethnic hatred and far right totalitarianism as practiced by Guardian/BBC approved Muslims. Or by non-approved twisters of Islam for that matter.
Racism (2) – a condition suffered by all non-Muslims. Any racism practiced by Muslims people is not racism and accusing any Muslim of racism is racism.

Feel free to add your own definitions, esteemed fellow cunters.

Nominated by: Cunt’s Mate Cunt

The Gastro Pub is a cunt.

A pub is where I want to drink and a restaurant is where I want to eat. Obviously you expect a pie etc to be sold on a pub for cunts to soak up the alcohol and drinks to be sold in restaurants so cunts can match the wine with their food. What pisses me off is the ‘Foodie’ pubs where a fucking burger costs £16, because it’s hand made with meat from a cow called cunt who loved a mile away and is local. I support animal welfare and prefer quality well looked after meat but don’t rip people off.

How many of your beers are local you cunts and aren’t flown or shipped in, and how many of the cunts working there are local? We’ll have milk for a tenner a pint because some celebrity bitch sucked it out of the cow herself. The cunts.

Nominated by: Black and White cunt

I am going to cunt recruitment agencies

Firstly when you go on any job search you will find loads of adverts for jobs that don’t actually exist they are “non existent, we are hoping to have a suitable candidate in our portfolio should a client approach us with a job position that needs filling”

Annoyingly they are also allowed to advertise these “non existent” jobs in the pits of misery we refer too as “job centres”. I had the misfortune to “qualify” for “job club” once, a place where you are herded into a classroom and spoken down too by some space cadet.

Our space cadet unfortunately bit off a it more than she could chew after lecturing us on the “wealth” of jobs they had to offer and the fact we were not trying. Unfortunately one of the other chaps on detention with me was the former husband of the local Reeds recruitment agency, he put the space cadet right in here place and explained portfolios of agency’s and the fact that as a good 80% of the jobs offered in the centre did not exist, which is actually rather annoying

Now my second part, I like to believe in internal progression in a business, it encourages staff and gives them hopes and aspirations thinking that one day that they too may get the company car and a decent wage.

And then comes along the Agency with the perfect qualifications, snips the job and you then start to discover that despite being very affable they are totally unprepared, untrained and actually have very little idea what they are supposed to be doing.

A manager is their to get people to do their job, not do it for them but the minimum qualification is that they know what the employee should be doing and steer them in the right direction…………….Not try and do it their way and fuck up the whole system!

Nominated by: Lord Benny

Time to nominate university sexual consent workshops for a non-PC cunting.
Read this wank this morning – but probably shouldn’t have because I was already pissed off after waking up and seeing that fucking Ipswich had lost at home. (Fucking four goals in ten games – fucking overpaid ponces.)

This article is absolutely full to the brim of bollocks and crappy Newspeak – it’s hard to know where to begin the cunting.

This whole bollocks about consent at university seems to show an extremely old-fashioned attitude towards sex – that’s it is something men do TO women rather than WITH them, hence the need for explicit consent. Newsflash you twats, women like sex too, though perhaps not with lentil-eating fuckwits who support this bollocks. The idea that women need protecting from nasty men is Victorian crap. As I said, women like sex too and sometimes they make mistakes and sleep with the wrong person. Regretting a drunken shag is not the same as being raped – and to say it is demeans and belittles the experience of actual rape victims.

Universities seem to be absolutely rammed full of these po-faced twats these days. When I was at university – admittedly 25+ years ago – the wimmin’s society was annoying but easy to ignore. Now it seems you can’t even ask a girl out on a date without filling out a form in triplicate unless you want to get accused of harassment. Fuck me ragged.

And just so I don’t get accused of sexism (unlikely on this forum, I think) I’d like to point out that the wimmin’s society were not the most annoying twats at my university. That trophy goes hands down to the rugby club faggots whose boorish antics in the union bar, homoerotic initiation rituals and all round cuntitude was off the scale. Most of them were so far in the closet that they had their digs in Narnia. Grabbing each other’s balls on the pitch and accusing all non-rugger buggers of being gay – methinks the benders protest too much. Cunts.

Nominated by: Cunt’s Mate Cunt

I would like to nominate whinging miners for a cunting. The latest excuse for these cunts to start moaning is the fact that there will be no Orgreave Inquiry (after the police rightfully put the boot in on their illegal picket during the miners’ strike of 1984).

Well thank fuck for that because that would have been yet another monumental waste of money that would be appealed and appealed and appealed until some cunt gives them the result they think they deserve.

Then you get the fuckers bemoaning a Thatcher government for closing the pits. Ok fuckwit miners want to know who really closed the pits? Arthur “fucking” Scargill that’s who!

My dad was a miner from 1954 until 1988. He went through the strikes of the early 70’s (balloted) but disagreed entirely with that ginger get Scargill who did an “everybody out” on *HIS* say so because *HE* thought *HE* was the big I am. There was no ballot and therefore it was an illegal strike.

In the end when the mines did finally close he said: “What the hell did he expect, holding the government to ransom every time Maggie farts in the wrong key!”

The most gauling thing (to my Dad) about the closures brought on by Scargill’s arrogance – because that’s what is was, plain and simple – was the fact that a) the cost to make coal burning power stations clean (the govts excuse for the closures) was a fraction of the cost to convert them to oil/gas powered ones, b) at the mine where my Dad worked, the geologists had found seams that would have taken 40yrs to deplete (at the rate of mining at that time).

He also told me: “Won’t be in my lifetime. MIght not be in your lifetime but when the gas and oil runs out there’ll be some bright spark in government who’ll say oh we’ve got all this coal to mine, except there’ll be no one in the country who knows how to do it any more!”

Oh and as for the Orgreave mob – like most of Scargill’s millitant fuckwits – they gave as good as they got and those miners who chose to work (which was in their right because it was an illegal strike) no doubt appreciated the bags of piss and shit thrown at them (along with the police escorting them legitimately into work).

I have no love for the police but if any filthy cunt threw a bag of piss at me then I’d twat them upside the head as hard as I could fucking muster with my truncheon, you cunts!

There’s a reason why Scargill went into the union side of things because he was a shit miner and he was a lazy cunt, end of.

Most of the miners of the time should be due to cast off their mortal coils (like me dad did 10yrs ago) and do everyone a favour and fuck off! I’m fed up of your twisting and whinging, when you have nothing to twist and whinge about! It’s called “just deserts” you cunts!

Nominated by: Rebel without a Cunt!