The Gastro Pub


The Gastro Pub is a cunt.

A pub is where I want to drink and a restaurant is where I want to eat. Obviously you expect a pie etc to be sold on a pub for cunts to soak up the alcohol and drinks to be sold in restaurants so cunts can match the wine with their food. What pisses me off is the ‘Foodie’ pubs where a fucking burger costs £16, because it’s hand made with meat from a cow called cunt who loved a mile away and is local. I support animal welfare and prefer quality well looked after meat but don’t rip people off.

How many of your beers are local you cunts and aren’t flown or shipped in, and how many of the cunts working there are local? We’ll have milk for a tenner a pint because some celebrity bitch sucked it out of the cow herself. The cunts.

Nominated by: Black and White cunt

29 thoughts on “The Gastro Pub

  1. Apparently Anthony Worrall Thompson’s gastro pub recipes book contains excellent instructions and method to prepare a superb coq au vin dish.

    (Step1) Steal a chicken……

  2. A very good cunting . There is no qualification for Gastropub except putting a sign in the window saying so , thus every cunt wants to be one and there are fucking millyuns of the cunts.
    According to Google there are 6 within a reasonable distance of us ,of those , one is OK, the rest are just the usual pub grub and mostly shite cooked by any cunt who turns up on the day.
    Two of them sport a sign that says ‘Real Ales served here’ which in their case is one amongst the lager pisspumps and that has been there so long it would kill a horse.


    The Pride Of Britain Awards

    The Pride Of Britain Awards deserves a monumental cunting, Let me explain:

    These Awards have been hijacked by Z-List ‘celebrities’ and so-called ‘celebrities’ to boost their PR with the unwashed masses.
    The Awards should be about the people who are being recognized for helping the community, performing outstanding feats of bravery or generally making the World a little better.

    But it isn’t, it’s all about cunts like Gary Barlow, Piers Morgan, Susanna Reid, Carol Vorderman and David fucking Beckham.
    They all saunter on stage for 2 minutes to hand out a award and are lauded as the heroes of the show, FUCK OFF.

    Barlow is only doing it because he is a tax-evading cunt, Piers Morgan is only doing it because he is an egotistical cunt, Susanna Reid is only doing it because she is an over-the-hill cunt who thinks every man adores her, Carol Vorderman is only doing it because that’s the only way she get on TV these days and David Beckham is only doing it because he has an IQ of 14 and thinks it’s the BBC’s Sports Personality Of The Year Awards.

    So, the Pride Of Britain Awards is a cunt for making it all about the ‘celebrities’ who give up their invaluable time to pop on stage for 2 minutes and pick up a cheque for £5000 for the privilege.

    • And all arranged by the Daily Mirror, which makes it a double cuntfest. Perhaps Piers has some more dodgy photos for them…

    • I agree with on you this one, boaby.

      The Pride of Britian awards should be about the People, Kiddies, Grannies and your average Joe on the street trying to make Old Blighty a nicer place to live.
      Not a fucking hasbeen celeb, who didn’t want to do a stint in the Auzzie jungle to boost their status.

      Generally, I normally like to watch it, it warms the heart, Knowing we still have brave men, women, children and communities out there, who are brave enough to stand up the cunting system, low life cunts and to save a life, Who have still have that old blighty spirit we seldom see or hear off today.

      But then after the local hero/heroine has been talked over and stood in front of by the Me,Me ME, Z-lister it kind of takes away the elation of the pride….its embarrassing, I feel for the poor hero/heroine..sometimes you can see it on their faces, bless them.

      Everyone deserves their 5 minutes of fame for being so brave, and the people and kiddies on here, have been.

      The cunting celebs should be background noise only….as for Carol Vordercunt……bin her off, send her to the jungle.
      Get Holly Willabooby on, nicer lady, with a heart and much more easier on the eye….

      • It seems to be a constant thing.
        I know the years go by quicker when you get older,but the mirror seems to constantly have this pride of Britain shite.
        Surely this event could still celebrate local heroes without some cunt of a sleb gate crashing it.
        It seems to be only about how great these slebs are handing an award to a pleb.
        So sack the lot apart from Carol ( i want Birdman’s jazz all over me ) Vorderman.

  4. I’d like to applaud gastro pubs as well as shite chain pubs and wetherspoons. They keep the cunts out of decent pubs so are doing us all a huge favour.

  5. Sky news. Again. They have gone full retard today in a piece they entitle “The Trump effect”. I was exposed to 5 seconds of it before I managed to reach the remote so I think I should be OK but in those 5 seconds they said “America has lost its innocence ( because of Trump) and that (his) “hate speech was infecting the minds of children”

    I thought the British media had rules about balance, or do they only apply to domestic issues? But given 197,000 septics live in UK but are still entitled to vote it would seem Sky are attempting to influence the outcome of the US election. I thought that was the Russians job….

    • Lololol Lost its innocence?! Is america a helpless virgin or something, Have cuntier journo words ever been spoken before? probably…

      Last time I checked america is a warmongering ignorant prideful cunt, hardly a innocent and I think lefty pro migrant and pro islam bellends are doing a better job of affecting(infecting?) the minds of children then Trump is

      • I know, and the worst of it was this was all voice over archieve footage taken from the 50s with shiney faced young kids, apple pie and the good old stars and stripes. I think the Yanks lost all that nonsence with Vietnam. Like I said, full retard.

  6. They aren’t “pubs”,they are just glorified,twee eating houses for pretentious wankers with more money than sense. A pub should have no food except pickled eggs,pork scratchings,nuts,and possibly a tray of week old pies festering under plastic.
    The only woman in the bar should be serving,kids completely banned,a tv only on for the racing,no “artisan” beers,and,if I had my way,smoking would still be allowed
    Gastro pubs are a curse on the true drinker who staggers in only to have a menu thrust in his hand until the manager recognizes you from your previous visit and threatens to call the police unless you leave immediately…..still,at least I managed to grab a “special Abeerdeen Angus” burger off the waiters tray as they bundled me out of the door.

  7. I see those cunts from FIFA are at it again, not allowing the Home nations football teams wear a poppy design on the shirts when they will be competing in World Cup qualifying matches. FIFA say they don’t allow political, religious or commercial messages to be worn on shirts, the cunts. I wear my poppy with pride in remembrance of those who sacrificed their lives, without them I wouldn’t have been lucky enough to have lived the life I have. Maybe someone should explain to these cretins what Armistice Day and the Poppy is all about, the ungrateful motherfucking cunts

    • Even though there is a preponderance of cunts in this world , the brave souls who we honour with our poppies would still have willingly sacrificed themselves for the sake of freedom from overwhelming cuntery , even if the non-cunts appear to be in the minority .
      Society needs to re-evaluate and thank these brave men and women by adhering to the values of basic decency they died for.

    • See below. The Corrupt Nazi bent cunts at FIFA are forever promoting political causes at football matches. Btw why has Blatter not been jailed yet? The thieving fat bloated corpulent deviant cunt.

      • Blatter allowed England to wear them against Spain a few years ago.
        The radio is saying that the new cunt is against it.
        I can understand why it’s been vetoed. It could open the doors for any cuntry to put any shite on their shirts …….

  8. Surely the poppy is neither religious,political nor commercial.It is a symbol of sacrifices made for our freedom by the fallen.Let”s be British and wear them anyway…….Fuck F.I.F.A…Cunts……Baaaaaaah

  9. I used to wear poppies years ago,but don’t any more. Both sides of my family lost three boys in WWII and my grandad was a POW.
    I also had an uncle in the Falklands.
    They reason i don’t wear one is that people tell me I’m supposed to wear one.
    I also get sick of politicians posing at the cenotaph ,looking “caring” in front of the cameras when they are always gearing up to add more names to list of fallen.
    I do buy one and also put money in tins without taking one ,i just don’t wear it……..

    • I’m the same. It’s one of the few charities that I do give to,but I never bother with the poppy.
      An old welsh bugger I know keeps his poppy in a drawer and uses the same one year after year just to avoid having to put any money in the tin.Now that’s tight.

    • Easy to be pious and have an aura of respect when you’re getting paid to attend the remembrance service and claim for the wreath as an expense.

      Just like the house of lords, if they weren’t getting paid to be there, or if it cost them anything themselves (including their oh so precious time), the whole thing would be emptier than Rochdale A.F.C.’s trophy cabinet!

      Two faced cunts!

  10. FIFA are monumental hypocritical corrupt thieving cunts. This den of thieves and corruption are stating that no poppies can be worn at this months Eng v Scot match at Wembley as no political messages are allowed. Yet they are forver having footballers display political messages such as ‘give racism the red card’ etc. Now I agree with these campaigns but they are also poltical so why the fuck can we not acknowledge the immense sacrifice made by many in the fight against Nazism etc? Heres why , because FIFA is full of corrupt,thieving,sexually deviant,Nazi cunts. Thats why.

    • Agree old heart but the wearing orf the poppy was originally a symbol orf grief and love for the fallen orf The First World War, the so called war to end all wars. Poppies would grow and flower every spring in extraordinary profession amidst the carnage and destruction orf the battle fields.
      Football has a special connection with the poppy because of the matches or kickabouts that took place between the Tommies and the Hun in no man’s land during breaks in fighting. Obviously a symbol orf peace and kinship that has no meaning to the cunts orf FIFA.

      • Because the current cunt at the top and the one before (Blatter) are both Swiss.

        The Swiss have been more neutral than a glass of water for over 500yrs and don’t get any meither because they hold the bank pursestrings of most of the most influential scumbags the planet knows.

        It’s the England V Scotland game right? In that case the FA and SFA should basically say “fuck you” and just wear them. It’s a home match between two home nations, who the fuck in the world is going to be peeved at that? Answer no one.

        Let’s face it, FIFA are only bothered because there’s no advertising royalties in it for them and it’s that simple.

  11. I think FIFA deserves a real good cunting for sure.
    Bunch of cunts the fucking lot of them!

  12. I remember the days when you could find a quiet corner in a pub and get slowly ratted. and I’m there are no corners, no walls only big tucking relies that only show football, kids misbehaving everywhere while their count parents pretend they aren’t the parents,shit food and shit music…… pubs are sucked, thank god I never became a landlord I couldn’t deal with gastro pub cunts

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