I once saw a bit of graffiti scrawled on a bog wall which read ‘women’s logic is like a stick with three ends’. It’s an observation that I’ve found increasingly difficult to challenge over the years.

Now Mrs K is the absolute light of my life. She’s smart, sassy, kind and caring, and an absolute honey. But Christ, the logic of her ‘logic’ can take a bit of keeping up with. It’s as though she goes from ‘a’ to ‘e’ without the benefits of points ‘b’, ‘c’ and ‘d’ in between; an ‘I went to the shops to buy a blouse, but I saw some shoes so I bought a hairdryer’ sort of thing.

Take yesterday. She was off to the salon to get her hair, eyebrows and nails done. ‘I’ll be some time’ she trills (no shit Sherlock), ‘as I’m going to Morrison’s as well to get some gluten free bread’. ‘You look lovely, my sweet’ says I, when she duly returns (flattery can get you anywhere). ‘I’ll make sandwiches for lunch’. ‘Oh, I got a couple of bottles of almond liqueur and some gin at the shop’, she replies, ‘but I didn’t get any bread. They wanted £3.50 for it, and it’s only £2.70 in Asda. I’m not giving the bloody robdogs that for it, so I’ll just have crackers’.

‘Hang on’ says I, baffled. ‘You’ve just spent over a hundred notes at the salon, not to mention the money on the booze, but you’ve denied yourself some bread for 80 pence? What kind of logic is that? I’ll never understand how women think’. ‘Humph’, she snorts, that flinty Scots gleam in her eye, ‘well, I’ll remind you of those words the next time you’re pulling my pants down’.

I mean, huh? Wtf? I quickly fathomed that this was going to be one of those ‘men are from Mars, women are from Venus’ exchanges that go absolutely nowhere, so I retreated to the kitchen to make the lunch.

So is this an obtuse tactic that women deliberately deploy to keep us off balance, or are the little darlings actually just daft as a fucking brush? Buggered if I know.

Nominated by: Ron Knee

Let’s have a rousing chorus of The Red Flag as we give a cunting to the dykie looking shadow minister for Edu-kation, Kate Green. The baritone voiced harridan wants Gavin Williamson, to “guarantee” the poor little bubbas at “uni”, especially in Manchester, can go home at Xmas to see their fam-i-lees.:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-54313054
Does the silly bitch not realise that life doesn’t come with guarantees?. How can any sane person (admittedly most Labour wimminz are not sane – some indeed are certifiable) – guarantee anything on these “unprecedented days” 10 weeks hence?. Is the dirty ugly fucker for real?. Along with Anal-ease Ken Dodd, they look as raddled as Miss Havisham, women who have cobwebs in their bloomers.

This is just another prime example of Dame Kweer’s mincers and benders trying to stir up fear, uncertainty and discontent.
Dame Kweer- the maiden aunt back seat driver, who is as thick as pig shit and twice as nasty.

Butch Kate ought to get together with Bulldyke Phillips to “prove” that students are the victims of the patriarchy. Along with the Starmer charmer they would be all girls together. Girls Aloud.

Students knew the 2020/21 intake was going to be challenging. If they can’t stand the heat they should have stayed out of the kitchen. Wankers – which, come to think of it, is probably what they are doing in their halls of residence.

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs

Right Said Fred are cunts.

The 90s ‘I’m Too Sexy’ novelty hitmakers have ‘done a Jedward’ and used current ‘issues’ to get a long forgotten act noticed again.

The daft duo – like ex Stone Roses frontman , Ian Icke – have a bee in their bald bonnets about Covid 19 and how ‘wrong’ it is to have masks and social distancing.
I thought that Right Said Fred would encourage the ‘six person’ rule. After all, six people in one room would surely triple their audience.

Deeply dippy cunts.

(I see what you did there. Very clever – Night Admin)

Nominated by: Norman

This arsehole has been condemning the protests by 15000 people opposed to the return of draconian lockdowns. Regardless of the varying opinions on the subject, and there were probably a good few loonies in attendance, where was the leniency shown to other recent protests? The cops weren’t fucking around, and got stuck in, none of this taking a knee shit. Khan is quite happy for protesting in London if it’s a cause he supports, BLM, anti Trump, XR cunts, so I wonder what the factors were that made him feel the need to condemn this one?

Nominated by: Gutstick Japseye

…and again by Ron Knee 

Many of you out there in IsACland will have heard of the legendary radio show ‘It’s That Man Again’ (‘ITMA’), which aimed at boosting morale in the dark and dreary days of World War II.
I’d like to suggest a re-boot for the dark and dreary days of Covid-2020, entitled ‘It’s That Cunt Again’ (‘ITCA’), starring that much loved Cockney comedian Sadiq ‘My Old Man’s A Bus Driver’ Khan. After all, when the mood needs to be lightened, we can always depend upon the vertically challenged Mayor of London to put a grin on our faces.
So what’s the short-arsed twat done now to demonstrate his ineptitude? Well, ever keen to promote his image and throw in a bit of virtue-signalling in the process, good ol’ Saddie rolled up his sleeve, put on his face mask, and took advantage of a great photo opportunity to show himself getting his flu jab.
There’s just one problem. It’s a fake set-up for the cameras. As he sits there heroically waiting for the doctor to plunge the needle in, it’s clear that the plastic cap is still on the syringe.
Just a little prick Mr Khan; oh, and the needle’s very small too…

…and another one, this time from W. C. Boggs 

A Capital, but Halal cunting, please, for the blithering, slithering idiotic oily heap of shit currently masquerading as Mayor of London Sadiq Shortarse Khan. The wanktrumpet has been agitating for the past two months, threatening to have a “London-wide lockdown”, presumably so that the Norman Wisdom of politics (Khan) can be as important as Mr. Grimsdale (Boris). As late as last Friday (2nd October) he was threatening this possibility “within the next few days”. Come Monday the 5th he has changed what passes for his mind:

Clever eh?. He has obviously been advised that such a lockdown would be unworkable, given all the BAMEs who would ignore it, the kids, who he has to keep on side would ignore it. You might say he was being sensible, but no, this stinking carcass of a “politician”, one of the New Labour throwouts, is hedging his bets. He won’t have a lockdown because the information isn’t clear, and the reason it isn’t clear is due to the government.

No Khan backed off because he knew it would ruin his chances of hanging on to his job next May.

This pusillanimous fucker ought to be shown up for what he really is – a career politician, a mealy mouthed chancer just full of piss and wind.

When they circumcised him they threw the wrong end away.

We all do stupid things in our youth, often related to alcohol.

But one thing I never did was to race around the roads behaving like James Hunt. For a start, doing so in a small underpowered car looks ridiculous. So why do modern youngsters and let’s be honest it’s mostly lads of 17-24, try to emulate Lewis Hamilton? I mean we all know what a toerag he is on and off the track.

The odds are already stacked against them; they have to pay huge insurance premiums. And plod is always on the look out for tearaways. Yet still you see them speeding along the streets, doing wheel spins, overtaking on bends, hounding other motorists.
And driving far too fast in wet or wintry conditions when they haven’t a a clue how to handle a car in bad weather. They think black ice is something you mix with vodka.

A young man tried to convince me that old people are the worst menace on the road. And yes there are old duffers who creep along holding everyone up and the occasional twit driving the wrong way up the motorway. However, the statistics don’t lie and it is the young who cause the most danger by far.

I know you can’t tell this generation anything, they already know it all, but they need to learn that driving is a skill you learn over many years and that you literally can not cut corners.

Nominated by: Lord Helpuss